How to make friends?

I

InternetSwag

Expert Member
Joined
Jan 24, 2012
Messages
3,955
Reaction score
329
Location
Cape Town
Hi guys,

Been thinking about this lately.

How do you actually make friends? I feel like most of what we call 'friends' are just work colleagues that we are forced to be around 200 hours a month and as such we develop relationships with them.

But outside of work it's all well, gone.

How do you make friends?

I've never had a group of friends where we all go out and do stuff. Whether it's party, play games, movies cinema etc etc.

Is it still possible at my age?

I'm 26 but tbh I feel ****ing old like the last 2 years has aged me by 10
 
Don't go on Facebook and brag about how you thought about raping and murdering your 2 year old baby girl. Although you might find a couple of friends on mybb that way so there is that...
 
Was a worry that I wouldn't have any friends when I moved from the bushveld to Gauteng but some of my friends eventually came along but with regards to making new friends, it's usually something I'll have in common with someone be it the love of car audio at some meets or simply someone you come across every now and again then you utter something like we should go have a dop some time and the rest follows suit.

Girls are much more complicated to meet by yourself, mutual friends makes it much easier.
 
I have 3 people I consider my true friends. 2 of them I met at school and one at university.
All 3 I became friends with due to mutual interests like games and anime.

I had 2 other friends but we grew apart due to one moving to a different school and the other one hanging out with a bad crowd in school which I didn't want to get involved with.

I have people at work I get along with but wouldn't consider them as friends and have never gone out with them somewhere outside of work.
The only way I've ever made friends were through mutual interest so can't really say how else you make friends outside of that scenario.
 
I've been here for 28 years and not one person is my friend (as in meet outside or visit each other).

Most of my friends (99%) are from a similar hobby/after hours activity (met them at psytrance parties/festivals).
 
satanboy said:
I've been here for 28 years and not one person is my friend (as in meet outside or visit each other).

Most of my friends (99%) are from a similar hobby/after hours activity (met them at psytrance parties/festivals).
Click to expand...
Wait until we meet at a mybb meet.
You'll love me.
 
Last edited:
The older it gets, the harder it gets.

By mid-late 20s and beyond people's careers are getting serious; they're starting families or they no longer go out that much, so they simply maintain existing friendships and even lose some with little time or interest to build new ones.

I'm 32, finished school in 2003 and I still have the same 3 three friends from high school. However, they're married with kids and I'm still a lone ranger, so we've drifted apart because our lifestyles are so different. I can decide on a Saturday evening that I want to grab a beer and watch a band but I can't exactly call one of my friends and ask them to come with me, they've got wives and kids. Conversely, I'm not really interested in spending a day at a kid's birthday party.

I've been fortunate that my younger brother has a large circle of friends and through with him I've moved in to his circle of friends. They're acquintances to me, but I see them just about every weekend. We play six-a-side football then grab something to eat and have a few drinks afterwards, catch a gig every now and then as well.

What I do know through playing football is that a lot of teams can't meet their quota of 6 players or they can do with substitutes, so they are always looking for people to step in. If you were looking for friends, enjoyed football and were somewhat fit, simply finding out when the local pitches were at their busiest would allow you to rock up, volunteer to play for teams and there you go, you're meeting people through common interest. So finding a social hobby may be one way to meet new people.
 
Last edited:
I met one of my closest circles of friends through studying further (MBA) I was just older than you when I did it, and still friends with them 10 years later

Maybe consider doing a course which has a lot of class type interaction?
You then meet like-minded people who you may never have interacted with before
 
Join a meetup group?
Easier to make friends when you're with other people engaged in an activity you share an interest in.

But yeah - after school and travelling etc. I've also lost touch with school friends and people met along the way. I'm well aware it's gonna take some effort on my part to get out and into groups where I might meet more people, just get lazy about it most days.
 
InternetSwag said:
Hi guys,

Been thinking about this lately.

How do you actually make friends? I feel like most of what we call 'friends' are just work colleagues that we are forced to be around 200 hours a month and as such we develop relationships with them.

But outside of work it's all well, gone.

How do you make friends?

I've never had a group of friends where we all go out and do stuff. Whether it's party, play games, movies cinema etc etc.

Is it still possible at my age?

I'm 26 but tbh I feel ****ing old like the last 2 years has aged me by 10
Click to expand...

Work can lead to good friendships, don't discount it.

Beyond work it can be a bit harder. Join meetup groups. In my case expat meetup groups have helped significantly as everyone there is for the same reason - no friend base in a new country. Hobby/themed meetup groups are also great, I've seen success with photography groups as an example. Bonus points if you have some knowledge of, or passion for, the topic.

If that fails: festivals, Instagram hashtags, Tinder/Grindr, making friends with people in online games etc.

Heck, at your age you can still jol with uni students.
 
satanboy said:
Most of my friends (99%) are from a similar hobby/after hours activity (met them at psytrance parties/festivals).
Click to expand...

This. Not that psytrance festivales are necessarily the answer, but I find that joining a club or something for after-hours hobbies, you're much more likely to meet people who are into similar things to you. I'm in the local astronomy club, for example.

Church is another good place, you'll generally meet good people there. Other community organisations could fulfill a similar role if you're not the believing sort.
 
satanboy said:
I've been here for 28 years and not one person is my friend (as in meet outside or visit each other).

Most of my friends (99%) are from a similar hobby/after hours activity (met them at psytrance parties/festivals).
Click to expand...

Thor said:
Wait until we meet at a mybb meet.
You'll love me.
Click to expand...

SB doesnt do meets or anything

He is friends with spidey ..he likes to lie
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top
Sign up to the MyBroadband newsletter
X