I know someone with a drinking problem.

copacetic

copacetic

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Let's say I have friend of a friend of a friend of a friend who has a drinking problem.

This person, let's call him Wilbur, drinks alone on occasion, often drinks purely to get pissed and recently got into a vehicle after drinking far too much.

I know Wilbur wants to stop, but they've said to me that they can't, even though they've been trying to do so for years.

He is looking for some kind of support group, but is unsure whether AA will be able to help, or quite possibly that they are like a cult or something.

Anyone have any advice for Wilbur?

Thanks.

Copa.
 
copacetic said:
Let's say I have friend of a friend of a friend of a friend who has a drinking problem.

This person, let's call him Wilbur, drinks alone on occasion, often drinks purely to get pissed and recently got into a vehicle after drinking far too much.

I know Wilbur wants to stop, but they've said to me that they can't, even though they've been trying to do so for years.

He is looking for some kind of support group, but is unsure whether AA will be able to help, or quite possibly that they are like a cult or something.

Anyone have any advice for Wilbur?

Thanks.

Copa.
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There will always be excuses Copa.

My dad was a chronic Alcholoic for most of my life growing up. He has toned it down since his grand kids arrived and I hardly ever see him pissed now. But he and my mom would get into arguments when he starts drinking and she saying she'll leave him and and and. Nothing works. They just don't care. They either take a step and realize they have a massive problem and they need help or they drink till they die. Nothing anyone can do for them. Only they themselves can help themselves. And even if they do that the first step they are insanely scared of the unknown like these AA meetings. They just need someone to go with them the first few sessions and then they'll feel at home. That's about the only help you can offer: Going with them for the first few meetings.
 
Anyways I think you should get him to a support group but not the AA (they're vehicles silly). Corny as this sounds, church has helped a few people I know of but that's replacing addiction with a cult which as I read from your OP is definitely not an option.
 
Pitbull said:
There will always be excuses Copa.

My dad was a chronic Alcholoic for most of my life growing up. He has toned it down since his grand kids arrived and I hardly ever see him pissed now. But he and my mom would get into arguments when he starts drinking and she saying she'll leave him and and and. Nothing works. They just don't care. They either take a step and realize they have a massive problem and they need help or they drink till they die. Nothing anyone can do for them. Only they themselves can help themselves. And even if they do that the first step they are insanely scared of the unknown like these AA meetings. They just need someone to go with them the first few sessions and then they'll feel at home. That's about the only help you can offer: Going with them for the first few meetings.
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They do want to do something about it, and I am willing to help as much as I am able. Thanks for the info, I can empathize.
 
Ninja'd said:
Anyways I think you should get him to a support group but not the AA (they're vehicles silly). Corny as this sounds, church has helped a few people I know of but that's replacing addiction with a cult which as I read from your OP is definitely not an option.
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Church, in this instance, will be about as useful as an ice cube in Antarctic. :p
 
The best bet would be to get them into a rehab, its probably the best way to deal with it as it is a safe environment and the people are trained to help people with addictions.

Houghton House is one of them.

http://www.houghtonhouse.co.za/
 
Wilbur must firstly learn to address himself in the first person singular; this will resolve his personality conflict issues which are undoubtedly conducive to his drinking.

Secondly he must join an AA meeting and see for himself what it's like. If he will not take any steps to help himself, neither you nor the angels of God can help him. AA is not a cult. It is a benign support group that tries to create the optimal conditions in which a depedent person can be helped. The 12 steps, the counselling, the sponsorship - it creates a virtuous cycle that helps them deal with their underlying conditions and recover them when they do backslide. It's not all about standing up and repeating mantras. I would convince him to attend a meeting and see for himself.

Church, in this instance, will be about as useful as an ice cube in Antarctic.
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Not true at all.
 
Grimspoon said:
The best bet would be to get them into a rehab, its probably the best way to deal with it as it is a safe environment and the people are trained to help people with addictions.

Houghton House is one of them.

http://www.houghtonhouse.co.za/
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Impossible for a variety of reasons, the chief being financial, and the fact we'd have to knock this person out, cuff them drive them there in the boot of a car.
 
Where does he live? Maybe a local rehab centre is the way to go. If it's JHB then take him to the one Grimspoon gave.
 
copacetic said:
Let's say I have friend of a friend of a friend of a friend who has a drinking problem.

This person, let's call him Wilbur, drinks alone on occasion, often drinks purely to get pissed and recently got into a vehicle after drinking far too much.

I know Wilbur wants to stop, but they've said to me that they can't, even though they've been trying to do so for years.

He is looking for some kind of support group, but is unsure whether AA will be able to help, or quite possibly that they are like a cult or something.

Anyone have any advice for Wilbur?

Thanks.

Copa.
Click to expand...

A friend of mine's uncle has a drinking problem and he is getting medical implants that make you very sick if you do drink at all.

What province is he in?
 
cerebus said:
Wilbur must firstly learn to address himself in the first person singular; this will resolve his personality conflict issues which are undoubtedly conducive to his drinking.
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Pshh. There's no place for grammar here.

Secondly he must join an AA meeting and see for himself what it's like. If he will not take any steps to help himself, neither you nor the angels of God can help him. AA is not a cult. It is a benign support group that tries to create the optimal conditions in which a depedent person can be helped. The 12 steps, the counselling, the sponsorship - it creates a virtuous cycle that helps them deal with their underlying conditions and recover them when they do backslide. It's not all about standing up and repeating mantras. I would convince him to attend a meeting and see for himself.
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Totally, I, nor Wilbur, know what AA is like, I am hoping to hear from people who've been involved and I'm certainly willing to go to a couple of meetings myself to pave the way first. Wilbur wants to do this, he's just very resistant to help. A lone ranger, if you know what I mean?

Not true at all.
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Yes true. I only mean for this person specifically. I'm sure many have been helped, but Wilbur is not a believer in any sense at all and in fact has some serious gripes with the church in general.
 
The AA is a very good option for Wilbur if he has finally decided to admit he has a problem. I have a friend of a friend of a friend ... let's just call her Sheila ... who was putting away a bottle of Absolut before lunch every day. After a couple of attempts at rehab (in spite of her sickness Sheila still managed to keep a pretty successful business running somehow so she could afford the "holiday option") she finally decided to be honest with herself and go to the AA. She swears it's the only thing that worked for her and still goes to a meeting once a week (to start off with Sheila reckons she had to go to meeting every day , just to stay sane)

For someone who has never been to one of these meetings, trust me they can be very fsking wierd the first few times. People really are expected to stand up and introduce themselves " hello my name is Sheila and I'm an alchoholic" . All the admitting of problems and support from everyone else who is there seems really, really cheesy ... but somehow it works
 
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The first step is showing him that there is a problem, an intervention of sorts where you tell him what problems the drinking is causing and how much you willing to tolerate what you will not . And stick with the decisions you make.
 
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