Incredible Connection: How NOT to do a website

[GreGorGy]

Duffman (oooh yeah!)

This client never meets you at either of your premises - invariably, you catch him at his local pub. You suspect he does not know your name cos he greets you as "China". After the first pub lunch (your tab) he sends an email confirming what was discussed and asking for your opinion on other things. You tell him. A week or so goes by and its an afternoon beer to discuss the design. Three beers and a Jager Bomb later, you have an idea of what he wants. You catch up with him on Sunday (just before the GP starts) and quickly discuss and present designs.

Then Poof! Duffman disappears. Three months later, you pop in to your local to drown your sorrows and none other than Duffman is there, selling his wares. After handshakes and shoulder high-fives and introductions and another round of Jagers, he tells you he could not afford your price but it's okay cos his nephew did the site. Amazingly, using your design, your ideas and your advice.

This bastard I hate!

 

[Bismuth]

LOL @ GreGorGy!

I found FPP the funniest, had one like that a month or so ago, eventually they just stopped communicating, I guess they decided to do it in FP on a weekend after all.

I've made it a rule NOT to fix existing sites, rather a redesign. I don't do this full-time, so I can afford to be picky.

B

 

[FarligOpptreden]

How about this one:

"I'll send you the content this weekend, PROMISE", aka the Empty-Promiser
18 months ago you vaguely remember discussing a site with the Empty-Promiser. You did the design to spec, with the usual iteration similar to the "I LIKE big fat borders around my tables" scenario. Halfway through uploading the content, the Empty-Promiser decides that some of the content isn't exactly applicable to the business anymore, so a never-ending cycle of content promises ensues. You follow up every month or so to check whether the content is ready, but the usual "I will have it ready by this weekend, I promise!"-reply starts sounding like the school teacher in the Peanuts comics. You have a burning desire to just drop this particular project, but the final 25% of the projects cost that is still payable upon completion of the site (AAAARGH!) is still looming on the horizon and, no matter how close you feel you are getting to it, it's always there. Just looming. Ominously even.

 

[Kalvaer]

Hmmm I guess I aint ever going to ask for help and advice here on my stupidly put together websites

 

[kilobits]

Hmmm I guess I aint ever going to ask for help and advice here on my stupidly put together websites

Hey... ask away... after all, more bark here than bite. You cannot do any worse than ask here... actually, you can, you can go to Altech and ask them!

Kalvaer, the only real way to learn is to ask !

 

[Kalvaer]

Oh of that I'm sure.. But since I fall into that "dreamweaver / Joomla" quick designed catagory.. I'd more than likely be shot down worse than IC

 

[kilobits]

Oh of that I'm sure.. But since I fall into that "dreamweaver / Joomla" quick designed catagory.. I'd more than likely be shot down worse than IC

Haha... count me in too. Nothing wrong with the quick design route... if its functional and works... and kinda looks OK too across all the browsers and meets with web compliance standards as well as satisfying the clients (foolish) wishes and it pays the bills and whistles dixie while pruning roses!

 

[MetalHead]

I just remebered another "client" from hell...
The buddy who wants a quick freebie!

No worries - just a couple of pages of static content. I'll do it for you over the weekend and just charge you a case of beer.

4 weeks later still haven't recieved ftp details - 6 weeks later start getting content and images in drips and drabs - 8 weeks later get requested to add a forum - 9 weeks later just add a blog - 10 weeks later just add a quick content management system - 12 weeks later you're a total p**s because it's not ready yet and you SAID you'd do it over the weekend months ago!

Still haven't gotten my case of beer :-(

 

[FarligOpptreden]

I just remebered another "client" from hell...
The buddy who wants a quick freebie!

No worries - just a couple of pages of static content. I'll do it for you over the weekend and just charge you a case of beer.

4 weeks later still haven't recieved ftp details - 6 weeks later start getting content and images in drips and drabs - 8 weeks later get requested to add a forum - 9 weeks later just add a blog - 10 weeks later just add a quick content management system - 12 weeks later you're a total p**s because it's not ready yet and you SAID you'd do it over the weekend months ago!

Still haven't gotten my case of beer :-(

Those are the worst. I've dealt with that before. The problem is people who get something FOR FREE don't perceive any value therein. It's a fact that if you pay for something, it automatically feels more valuable.

 

[GreGorGy]

Still haven't gotten my case of beer :-(

Beer Buddy is most likely to be the culprit who introduced you to "Duffman". He gave you a real client, so he wants his site for free. And when Beer Bud has wasted 14 of your good weeks, he'll be standing with Duffman at the pub discussing how useless you are...

I know them well.

 

[GreGorGy]

It's a fact that if you pay for something, it automatically feels more valuable.

like sex

 

[FarligOpptreden]

like sex

Um.......

 

[Kalvaer]

I just remebered another "client" from hell...
The buddy who wants a quick freebie!

Even though I am one of those who has my MCSE and used to be a NT Systems admin, and according you some of you fall under a certain catagory (even though I am now too ashamed to ask any for help and payment for a job) There was one thing my lecturer taught me when I did my MSCE..

"For family and friends, charge double. Because they are usually worth twice the amount of trouble"

 

[XaXasTHoC]

LOL and they paid this guy for this crap?!