Is this wrong?

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Okay so there's no real stranger to the whole intervention topic, and MsDenz has tried her best to keep in contact and talk me through some stuff.

Both of these efforts are appreciated, and did make me stop and think for a bit.

Is it wrong to live FOR someone? Obviously the whole idea is to not depend on anyone and be happy with yourself blablabla, but after quite a while I've actually found that I can't do what I planned because of someone in my life. The only consistent thing in my life that calms me down and even makes me happy.

Just wondering if it's wrong and/or if I should just try and not depend on anyone or anything
 
AcidRaZor said:
Okay so there's no real stranger to the whole intervention topic, and MsDenz has tried her best to keep in contact and talk me through some stuff.

Both of these efforts are appreciated, and did make me stop and think for a bit.

Is it wrong to live FOR someone? Obviously the whole idea is to not depend on anyone and be happy with yourself blablabla, but after quite a while I've actually found that I can't do what I planned because of someone in my life. The only consistent thing in my life that calms me down and even makes me happy.

Just wondering if it's wrong and/or if I should just try and not depend on anyone or anything
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I think its fine when you are going through a tough patch to have someone to help you through it to motivate you. But when you are better you need to find something that does not rely on a person to make you happy. Else you will just fall into the same cycle again.
 
Yes, Acid, however difficult, we should not get attached to someone or something.

Because if you make that your reason for living or for being happy, what do you do if that thing or that person disappears/dies/leaves you?
 
No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.
 
blunomore said:
Yes, Acid, however difficult, we should not get attached to someone or something.

Because if you make that your reason for living or for being happy, what do you do if that thing or that person disappears/dies/leaves you?
Click to expand...

They won't disappear or leave. I trust that and that is the only thing I'm really confident/100% sure about. If they die, I die. I know that sounds silly and I truly do realize what you guys are saying. I might not die if they die, who knows, but I do know one thing. They make me happy even if they just say "Hi" and nothing else

abzo said:
No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own
Or of thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.
Click to expand...

Metallica?
 
AcidRaZor said:
They won't disappear or leave. I trust that and that is the only thing I'm really confident/100% sure about. If they die, I die. I know that sounds silly and I truly do realize what you guys are saying. I might not die if they die, who knows, but I do know one thing. They make me happy even if they just say "Hi" and nothing else



Metallica?
Click to expand...

If This Works For You, stick with it.
 
AcidRaZor said:
They make me happy even if they just say "Hi" and nothing else
Click to expand...

You have to remember that happiness is a state of mind, not a reaction to a particular person or thing. If someone makes you feel happy, then that person can also make you feel unhappy. Remember that the responsibility for your happiness lies only within you. When you say' this person makes you happy' , you are giving someone else control of your happiness.

You can't put your happiness on hold and bring it out only when this person calls. Happiness is a choice you make... you can be happy or you can be sad...you can live with what life throws at you and smile, or you can be unhappy and wait around for someone else to make you smile. I know what I would choose.
Sometimes, yes, it's a great feeling when someone special calls and your day just gets brighter, but you can't live your life waiting around for this person to call...that's not living.
 
MsDenz said:
You have to remember that happiness is a state of mind, not a reaction to a particular person or thing. If someone makes you feel happy, then that person can also make you feel unhappy. Remember that the responsibility for your happiness lies only within you. When you say' this person makes you happy' , you are giving someone else control of your happiness.

You can't put your happiness on hold and bring it out only when this person calls. Happiness is a choice you make... you can be happy or you can be sad...you can live with what life throws at you and smile, or you can be unhappy and wait around for someone else to make you smile. I know what I would choose.
Sometimes, yes, it's a great feeling when someone special calls and your day just gets brighter, but you can't live your life waiting around for this person to call...that's not living.
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No not waiting around. And yes I agree, the same person making you happy can make you unhappy. But after that brief contact with them (however brief) I'm lifted for several days if not weeks.

When my mind starts doing it's thing, that's when I fall back down. It's a learning process. But the person I'm referring to is at least reliable as much as they are special to me
 
AcidRaZor said:
No not waiting around. And yes I agree, the same person making you happy can make you unhappy. But after that brief contact with them (however brief) I'm lifted for several days if not weeks.

When my mind starts doing it's thing, that's when I fall back down. It's a learning process. But the person I'm referring to is at least reliable as much as they are special to me
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If it's helping you and it stops you from giving up, then I don't see any harm in it... as long as you work towards being responsible for your own happiness eventually :)
 
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Yeah, till he hears she's getting engaged. Forget about her Acid. She's not as great as your mind has made her out to be. If she was, she'd want you.
 
abzo said:
Yeah, till he hears she's getting engaged. Forget about her Acid. She's not as great as your mind has made her out to be. If she was, she'd want you.
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No matter how good you think a girl is, there is some guy out there who is tired of her sh*t
I also struggle with this from time to time. When friends go through similar situations I can give advice but taken my own advice is often difficult to do. That's why I have someone (a beloved forum member) who's advice pulls me in the right direction.

Truthfully I don't know what advice I can give you. I think high school teenagers probably have more experience with matters of love then I do. But I do have a lot of resources (websites) which may sort of help you out of your situation. Let me know if you'd like them.
 
Iirc in the intervention thread, you said you had no reason to live. Even though he/she might give you some incentive to go on, you still have to do the work and take responsibility for your own happiness. When you're going through a rough patch and he/she does not call, how are you going to feel then?
 
Dude get over her and move on FFS.

if there is nothing to live for then well continue with your plan but the logical answer is to find something to live for. Go to gym, get fit. Go bang a hooker without a condom. Go do stupid things like snort 5 grams of coke and go to a club.

I dunno man if you gonna waste your life wallowing you may as well be dead. Get out there and live life. death can wait. You are here once bud, make use of that time and stop wasting it running after some dumb bitch. Get crazy and live your damn life.
 
killadoob said:
Dude get over her and move on FFS.

if there is nothing to live for then well continue with your plan but the logical answer is to find something to live for. Go to gym, get fit. Go bang a hooker without a condom. Go do stupid things like snort 5 grams of coke and go to a club.

I dunno man if you gonna waste your life wallowing you may as well be dead. Get out there and live life. death can wait. You are here once bud, make use of that time and stop wasting it running after some dumb bitch. Get crazy and live your damn life.
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Shock tactics? Telling someone to STFU and get over it doesn't work if the person can't do it. Guy's reaching out and asking if it's wrong to live for someone who makes him happy.
 
Singal said:
Shock tactics? Telling someone to STFU and get over it doesn't work if the person can't do it. Guy's reaching out and asking if it's wrong to live for someone who makes him happy.
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Oh you have to excuse killadoob, it's best to just do what everyone else does and just ignore him.
 
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