Ive been Rejected

U

Usher (yeah)

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Helow, ive known this gal since late last year from university and weve sorta bin friends(not close) since. i started developing feelings 4 ha round may, but it was exam time so i kept quite about it coz i didnt wana disturb but i occasionaly sent flirt sms.s just 2 give her an idea about how im feeling. today we went out and i spilled the beans! she told me 3 things, 1. i never thought of u that way. 2. i dont want to ruin our friendship. 3. i have a boyfriend(Which she only told me today). im realy in love with this lady, but im confused, should i give up or still persue? oh by way she was laughing when i told ha, which at the time didnt bother me but now i feel *** about it cos it means she didnt take me seriously!
 
actually her exact words were "i dont want to ruin our friendship with something that might not last' so it makes no difference?
 
I would move on if I were you. Telling a girl how you feel is a gamble because girls are good at hiding their feelings, sometimes we get it right sometimes not. Personally I'd put her on a shelf for now. Don't wait for her, just get on with your life and continue to be friends with her. Maybe she feels the same way and was just scared, maybe not. If she does like you in that way then she'll give you signals, if not then nothing you say or do will make her want to go out with you, ever, thats just how girls are.
 
move on.. and if u think its tough then maybe u shouldn't hang out with her either.
 
Maybe he and requime went for the same girl and requime got his act together.

That would explain why she only told him now.

Races to get movie rights before TPK:)
 
Usher (yeah) said:
actually her exact words were "i dont want to ruin our friendship with something that might not last' so it makes no difference?
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That is quiet a painful line. Basically she sees no future with you at all. :erm:
I think you should moveon but still stay friends with her and then see maybe in the future, but highly doubtful. Sorry man!
 
If she's not interested, she's not interested. Move on - rather find somebody who is interested in you.
 
hear u guys, but i have another theory: recently she told me a guy that wants her must not just give up after one attempt to show he means what he says. i was flowing lyk honey yesterday, telling her sweet things it was obvious by the constant blushing that i hit some spot! maybe shes testing me? ive never had a girl turn me down it SUXX
 
Well instead of repeating what everyone else said

What KIND of sms's did you send that you label as "flirt"

If you flirted then she wouldn't need to have said she didn't want to ruin the friendship.

The friendship bit followed by "I have a boyfriend" probably means the BF is fictitious. Women love to lie about things like that to "let you down easy" instead of being honest and saying they're not interested in you from the get go. The whole friendship ruining/boyfriend screwing thing is just cruel and I wish women would stop leaving open ended comments.

I don't want to ruin the friendship <-- Gives the guy the idea that if he is willing to sacrifice the friendship for the possibility of something else he might succeed. That's an open ended conversation ladies (direction now towards the silly little women)

I have a boyfriend <-- a) You're just dating, not married yet b) This is probably why you don't want to ruin the friendship! OMG I HAVE A CHANCE!

See?

Anyway

Gimme the details on those SMS's, because if they were flirty she would know you're interested in her as more than a friend. And a big tip from my side (others may disagree), its only "acceptable" to confront a girl with SOMETHING (be it your feelings or if she was your girl, be it your concerns of her seeing someone behind your back) if you're on your deathbed.

Many fish in the sea, but I do understand that some fish is what you're looking for. If she really meant the friendship thing take it further. You did say you're kind of friends, make it better friends and work it from there.

But my money is she lied to you to "let you down easy" and wouldn't probably take your friendship to a more intimate place where she can talk to you and be friendly with you in situations other that varsity.

Oh by the way. I know the internet is full of people who contract their words and sentances, especially on SMS's, but this conveys a level of intelligence. If your flirty SMS's contained the crap you originally posted I'm quite sure I know WHY she said what she did.

There really is no harm into sounding articulate. I'm not the best speller or grammatically correct person out there and sometimes I say things that makes sense to me but not others, but that's something you can work on constantly.
 
killadoob said:
Maybe she likes to have men chasing her leaving them to **** for the next 5 years?
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could be. i bet u she knew why i asked her out, i dont get why she never told me she was hitched before maybe i could have spared myself the pain of falling deeper
 
Usher (yeah) said:
hear u guys, but i have another theory: recently she told me a guy that wants her must not just give up after one attempt to show he means what he says. i was flowing lyk honey yesterday, telling her sweet things it was obvious by the constant blushing that i hit some spot! maybe shes testing me? ive never had a girl turn me down it SUXX
Click to expand...

Making her blush isn't hard. I do that just for the **** of it. It doesn't mean you have "game" or that she likes you. Blushing can be associated with embarrasment.

If what you say is TRUE and she doesn't want you to give up after the first attempt, here's what I recommend. Lay back. Stop saying/doing sweet things. Honey is NOT the most effective way to attract flies (technically speaking it's vinegar, if you don't believe me, use your friendly search engine to check it)

Just be friends. Stop trying but try to take the friendship to a differently "deeper" level. Be flirty (I'm not convinced you know how to though). Make HER WONDER. (This is why I recommend not dishing your feelings like you had unless you're on your death bed)

Making her wonder if you're interested or not is what makes her coo-coo brain go "Wow, he seems intriguing. I wonder if he likes me... you know what? He's kind of cute maybe ... "

And let that simmer and prit for a couple of months until she falls for you.

It really isn't that hard.

For example, this girl that's into me SMS's me. I leave it for a while (maybe 2 or 3 days, maybe longer, depending on which mood I'm in) and then I SMS back, we strike up a conversation and I'm always the first one to leave that conversation. Drives them insane.

Same thing IRL.

If you can convince her that she loves you without you telling her ANYTHING then you've got game
 
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