Men unwilling or unable.

[vespax]

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says “I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.” I said “WHAT?? What was that?”

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear: “You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.” She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can't you just love me for who I am not what I do for you in the bedroom?”

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you; she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck . I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That's fine, honey.”

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.”

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don't feel like it.”

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled “WHAT?”

I then said “Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.” And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, “Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

That is one great story/joke!

 

[Maelly]

.

Wow, great story dude!!


Anyway, I can identify with the excuses post, once upon a time wifey and I used to do it every day, like 3-6 times a day!!! I would have breakfast in bed, tea-time, lunch, dinner, supper, you name it!! Whenever it was like raining, we would literally lock ourselves in the bedroom and have some KFC all day and night!!!!


4/5 years down the line, I only get it about 60% times whenever I initiate it. But I always give it to her 100% times whenever she initiates. I think I should also start to come up with excuses. What can I say, you never leave a lady waiting (If u know what I mean).

 

[vespax]

I was chatting to a friend of mine last night online. Out of the blue he writes, "My wife is trying to make...."

So I paused for a minute and he never replied on the topic and disappeared... So I wrote "Nookie Apparently!"

This morning, in my email is a response from him saying, "Babies!... And it wasn't the first time today!"

I little depressing when my Mrs is on the other side of the world currently.