My girlfriend wants to study abroad.

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ChocolateBadger

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My girlfriend is adamant that she wants to study in the US. She was head girl and extremely good at academics. She want to study fine art at some average universities in the US but can only do it if she can get a full paid scholarship. Now she says it is her dream to study in the US but logic tells me its a HUGE waste of time and money and has a very good change to even break our relationship (I'm not one for long distance). I've tried to present the logical side her decision and it just ends in tears. Am I in the wrong to stop her or is she just being unrealistic?

I started this thread to see if I'm the only one with this logic: http://mybroadband.co.za/vb/showthread.php/491302-Is-there-a-good-reason-to-study-abroad
 
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She needs to get the scholarship so why are you stressing? It's her life anyway, and she's obviously still young, so don't stand in her way.
 
Mike Hoxbig said:
She needs to get the scholarship so why are you stressing? It's her life anyway, and she's obviously still young, so don't stand in her way.
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Yeah I know but I feel like this is a mistake. Studying some rubbish degree in an unheard of uni just to come back to work in SA.
 
Mike Hoxbig said:
She needs to get the scholarship so why are you stressing? It's her life anyway, and she's obviously still young, so don't stand in her way.
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+1

Her decision, I have been in such a relationship years ago. End it or support her.
 
ChocolateBadger said:
Yeah I know but I feel like this is a mistake. Studying some rubbish degree in an unheard of uni just to come back to work in SA.
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Sometimes people need to make their own mistakes and learn from it man. Haven't you ever done something stupid that you regretted? :) A fine arts degree is as good as no degree, let her learn that the hard way. But let it be her choice.
 
ChocolateBadger said:
My girlfriend is adamant that she wants to study in the US. She was head girl and extremely good at academics. She want to study fine art at some average universities in the US but can only do it if she can get a full paid scholarship. Now she says it is her dream to study in the US but logic tells me its a HUGE waste of time and money and has a very good change to even break our relationship (I'm not one for long distance). I've tried to present the logical side her decision and it just ends in tears. Am I in the wrong to stop her or is she just being unrealistic?

I started this thread to see if I'm the only one with this logic: http://mybroadband.co.za/vb/showthread.php/491302-Is-there-a-good-reason-to-study-abroad
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What right do you believe you have to even try and stop her?
 
Mike Hoxbig said:
Sometimes people need to make their own mistakes and learn from it man. Haven't you ever done something stupid that you regretted? :) A fine arts degree is as good as no degree, let her learn that the hard way. But let it be her choice.
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Unless she teaches or something.
 
Mike Hoxbig said:
Sometimes people need to make their own mistakes and learn from it man. Haven't you ever done something stupid that you regretted? :) A fine arts degree is as good as no degree, let her learn that the hard way. But let it be her choice.
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I know, I never want to be the guy to stand in anyones way. It just that it affects me aswell. Its not easy to support someone in a different country. The time difference is huge and its a completely different culture.

I spoke with someone who studied in the US and when they came back to SA, it was like they had to start from scratch.
 
ChocolateBadger said:
I know, I never want to be the guy to stand in anyones way. It just that it affects me aswell. Its not easy to support someone in a different country. The time difference is huge and its a completely different culture.

I spoke with someone who studied in the US and when they came back to SA, it was like they had to start from scratch.
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You're stressing too much about this anyway. Think of it from a real world perspective - nobody in their right mind would finance a fine arts degree, so unless she has a rich dad, she's probably not going anywhere.

Instead what you're doing is alienating her by showing her that you don't support any of the decisions that she makes. Then she may end it not because she's leaving, but because she doesn't like you any more. Sit her down, tell her that you've been thinking about it, it was wrong of you to say what you said, and that you're fully behind her (even if you're not). Jesus, I should get paid for this sh*t :D
 
Mike Hoxbig said:
You're stressing too much about this anyway. Think of it from a real world perspective - nobody in their right mind would finance a fine arts degree, so unless she has a rich dad, she's probably not going anywhere.

Instead what you're doing is alienating her by showing her that you don't support any of the decisions that she makes. Then she may end it not because she's leaving, but because she doesn't like you any more. Sit her down, tell her that you've been thinking about it, it was wrong of you to say what you said, and that you're fully behind her (even if you're not). Jesus, I should get paid for this sh*t :D
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I've already done that. I'm really just fighting with myself at the moment.
 
Let her fly. If it is meant to be. She will come back home or you will follow her. You and her are young. You cant take away an opportunity like this for your own selfish reasons.
 
If you stop her then she'll always hold it against you - you have to let her make her own choices in life, even if they're bad ones.

And sorry to say if she's happy to just pack up and leave then your relationship might be a little one sided...
 
Joker said:
If you stop her then she'll always hold it against you - you have to let her make her own choices in life, even if they're bad ones.

And sorry to say if she's happy to just pack up and leave then your relationship might be a little one sided...
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Seems that way to me too
 
Why not go to America as well?

With my wife I promised to be with her anywhere in the world, and I even lived in Manila for a while.
 
I have no interest in studying one particular broad but like the idea of studying a number of different ones. I think you should welcome your girlfriends interest in other ladies... oh wait, abroad! Ah... ok, moving on.
 
ghoti said:
Why not go to America as well?

With my wife I promised to be with her anywhere in the world, and I even lived in Manila for a while.
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I got a small business here as well as studying at the local uni. I'm not as financially fortunate to just pack up and move.
 
She want's out of the relationship. Best to ship her off and find a new partner too! Perhaps by breaking up with her she will come to her senses and stay, as she no longer needs distance to extinguish the relationship.
 
ElecEng said:
She want's out of the relationship. Best to ship her off and find a new partner too! Perhaps by breaking up with her she will come to her senses and stay, as she no longer needs distance to extinguish the relationship.
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You may have missed the point here.
 
its not about which uni she is going to as much as finding out who she is and enjoying some time in another country. If you get in her way, she is going to resent you forever. Just tell her you're not waiting around for her and let her make up her mind.
 
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