Overprotective much?

[mooks]

So I am finding my imagination to be quite destructive. The moment a loved one is out on their own I get really worried. If its my child I worry she has been snatch by some horrific paedophile, or that my mother has been hit by a car or that my boyfriend has fallen in front of a train. This evening for instance I didnt know that my mum took my daughter to the library and when I called they didnt answer the phone (on silent, library etc) and I got really tense and drove around the neighbourhood for 30mins until they returned my call. Then I forgot my boyfriend was going bowling and landed up fretting for an hour thinking he had collapsed in the datacenter and was lying, incapable of movement and contact and would freeze in the cold DC.

Thing is, I dont live in a dangerous country so the likelyhood of some kind of criminal activity having taken place is vastly less than what it would have been if we were all back in SA (this is not a commentary on SA btw), but I still find myself getting my knickers twisted for the stupidest reasons.

I KNOW I'm being unreasonable but I would never be able to forgive myself if one day I decided NOT to worry and then something happened to one of them. Where do you draw the line? At what point do you start/stop worrying?

Thankfully my loved ones give me a bit of rope on this one and dont freak out at me for freaking out at them, but somethings gotta give! Ideas and input are welcomed.

 

[Mike Hoxbig]

Seems like you're bordering on OCD. Seek help.

 

[mooks]

So basically you're all reading this and thinking 'omg, she's clearly insane'?

I'm really not :/ I'm stable and functional and happy. I'm just overprotective of my people's.... Surely I'm not the only one?

 

[STS]

So basically you're all reading this and thinking 'omg, she's clearly insane'?

I'm really not :/ I'm stable and functional and happy. I'm just overprotective of my people's.... Surely I'm not the only one?

oh you'er female, nevermind, it's normal

just kidding, it's alright, my mother is the same, she just loves us and people are clearly different. you see yourself as protective and may feel like you look after a lot of people, and it's become part of your identity. if it's affecting you negatively perhaps just put certain measures in place like an emergency button on a cell phone or telling them ways that they could be cautious, not much else you can do an worrying doesn't improve the situation

 

[OMB]

So basically you're all reading this and thinking 'omg, she's clearly insane'?

I'm really not :/ I'm stable and functional and happy. I'm just overprotective of my people's.... Surely I'm not the only one?

:erm: I'm with Mike on this one, I don't think there's anything wrong with being concerned about loved ones, but you seem to be overly concerned and overreact

 

[blunomore]

So I am finding my imagination to be quite destructive. The moment a loved one is out on their own I get really worried. If its my child I worry she has been snatch by some horrific paedophile, or that my mother has been hit by a car or that my boyfriend has fallen in front of a train. This evening for instance I didnt know that my mum took my daughter to the library and when I called they didnt answer the phone (on silent, library etc) and I got really tense and drove around the neighbourhood for 30mins until they returned my call. Then I forgot my boyfriend was going bowling and landed up fretting for an hour thinking he had collapsed in the datacenter and was lying, incapable of movement and contact and would freeze in the cold DC.

Thing is, I dont live in a dangerous country so the likelyhood of some kind of criminal activity having taken place is vastly less than what it would have been if we were all back in SA (this is not a commentary on SA btw), but I still find myself getting my knickers twisted for the stupidest reasons.

I KNOW I'm being unreasonable but I would never be able to forgive myself if one day I decided NOT to worry and then something happened to one of them. Where do you draw the line? At what point do you start/stop worrying?

Thankfully my loved ones give me a bit of rope on this one and dont freak out at me for freaking out at them, but somethings gotta give! Ideas and input are welcomed.

A few questions if you are willing to answer:

1. Is your bf the father of your child?
2. Some background on your relationship with your bf - how did you meet, etc.

It may seem random, but it has bearing on the feelings of anxiety you experience.

 

[mooks]

A few questions if you are willing to answer:

1. Is your bf the father of your child?
2. Some background on your relationship with your bf - how did you meet, etc.

It may seem random, but it has bearing on the feelings of anxiety you experience.

1. No, he isnt my 'baby daddy' but my daughter sees him more than her real father (this is mainly because her real dad lives in Australia).
2. Background? We've been together for about 3 years but know each other for +- 8yrs or so. With him I think the panics stems from the fact that he lives in another country and does quite like to have a few pints (he once fell into a manhole after a nights boozer - whose to stay that same stumble wont land him on train tracks next time?).

I dunno, I guess my question is really about whether other people also have these gory worst-case-scenario fixations so quickly? The kicker is that sometimes I then get panicked that I am somehow tempting fate by imagining these things. Then I really get completely discombobulated

 

[MisterBigglesworth]

So basically you're all reading this and thinking 'omg, she's clearly insane'?

I'm really not :/ I'm stable and functional and happy. I'm just overprotective of my people's.... Surely I'm not the only one?

Im not saying you have a problem...but pretty much all people that have a problem think they are generally fine and in control when its really the opposite (like depression, or a sex addict etc - these are just EXAMPLES, not saying you suffer from these).

So Im saying yeah, you might think it as normal...but it might not be.

 

[blunomore]

1. No, he isnt my 'baby daddy' but my daughter sees him more than her real father (this is mainly because her real dad lives in Australia).
2. Background? We've been together for about 3 years but know each other for +- 8yrs or so. With him I think the panics stems from the fact that he lives in another country and does quite like to have a few pints (he once fell into a manhole after a nights boozer - whose to stay that same stumble wont land him on train tracks next time?).

I dunno, I guess my question is really about whether other people also have these gory worst-case-scenario fixations so quickly? The kicker is that sometimes I then get panicked that I am somehow tempting fate by imagining these things. Then I really get completely discombobulated

I hope that, cognitively, you understand that by the mere act of worrying, you cannot save someone from something bad happening to them? There is absolutely no link between the two acts.

People often worry unnecessarily about something befalling their loved ones if, deep down, they think that they do not deserve the happiness/good fortune that they are experiencing.

Not sure if that applies to you or even make any sense.

 

[noxibox]

You can only drive yourself crazy with this kind of thinking. It can also have a negative impact on your child. They pick up their parents' fears and may come to believe the world is a much more dangerous place than it is. You are being excessively paranoid, and if you can't control it you should consider getting help. Even in South Africa there is no reason to lose it because someone doesn't answer the phone or isn't home as expected