Relationship help thread...

[bokdrol]

This is what sticks sideways in my craw. Most people here were disagreeing with the girl's reaction because they thought she overreacted. Somehow it seems we're not allowed to do that. It seems that when a girl reacts a certain way, it's the law and everyone should fall in line.

Yes, RH made a mistake in saying he was going to put her in her place. That came across as sexist. How that translates into us being a cabal of woman-haters is another story altogether.

No, I don't feel she overreacted. Yet again, this is what OP stated (by his own admission):
He showed her something on his phone
He showed the wrong message
He ripped the phone out of her hand - on the first date.
OP stated this, he admitted he ripped the phone out of her hand. OP stated she said she was annoyed because he ripped the phone out of her hand
OP contacts her later. She seems to have calmed down. All seems to be going OK.
However, from this, the forumites posting have judged her to be a sneaky, possessive, controlling b1tch who wants to enslave the OP and ruin his life.
I don't think she is the one overreacting TBH.

 

[rwenzori]

I'm not saying men are lying all the time.

Yes you are:

I've seen way to much to ever believe anything a guy ever says.

Frailty, thy name is woman! As Omlet said in Act1 Scene2.

 

[Nick333]

This is what sticks sideways in my craw. Most people here were disagreeing with the girl's reaction because they thought she overreacted. Somehow it seems we're not allowed to do that. It seems that when a girl reacts a certain way, it's the law and everyone should fall in line.

Yes, RH made a mistake in saying he was going to put her in her place. That came across as sexist. How that translates into us being a cabal of woman-haters is another story altogether.

He didn't make a mistake. You can say whatever the fcck you want in the context of joking around with a mate.

Anyway, my point is you've got men and women accusing each other of sexism and for some reason we need more women here to weigh in on who's being sexist. Point being that some people seem to think that truth is a matter of popular opinion rather than considered, rational thought. There is no point arguing with people who think like this.

 

[registerforfree]

snip

And that's your opinion.

From where I sit OP accidentally showed her something private and ripped the phone out of her hand (maybe that was a bad move, I'll concede). But! But, he is entitled to his privacy too.

Where things go into bitchy controlling mode is when she works herself up and demands he take her home, then tells him she's angry and needs to cool down, leaving him hanging by a thread while she works her nonsense out. This, instead of being an adult and talking it through with him right from the start. Why didn't she just say "hey, what you did upset me, can we talk about it?" Why did she have to string him along and leave him hanging until she deigned herself ready to let him come crawling back to her like a good little bitch?

It's a communication issue. That's why I say she overreacted. She doesn't know how to handle conflict.

 

[Nick333]

R u sure?

Does "I think" not imply that I'm not sure to you?

I was wrong though, it was D3nz and Singal who called what's her face out.

 

[Nick333]

I would really love to hear who called her a sneaky controlling b-tch who likes to snoop.

Saoir did just then. She's really having this conversation with herself. No need for you to post, she's quite happy to tell you what you said and think and that you're an ********* for saying and thinking it.

 

[SaoirseB]

Where does anyone call her a bitch? Also, I disagree that he did anything wrong. First, it was before they were dating. Second, it was a private conversation. He can have private conversations if he wants, and so can she.

B-itches read yo txt msgs bro

Rookie mistake, you hate to see it.

I'm not going to go back and dredge up every single post as evidence for you. If you really WANT to see them, you'll see them for yourself if you go back and re-read this thread.

Why do we have to defend her - because she is a woman? Is that all it takes to require defense? How about, if we believe she is right?

I won't defend anyone unless I believe they are right. I do not believe she is right. That is all there is to it. It is not misogyny, it is not hatred, it is simply that she is wrong in this case. That is all.

Why does being a woman entitle her to defense?

Fair enough. You don't have to defend her. But was there a need to attack her? Was the name calling really necessary? Was the attributing of bad motives to her necessary?

 

[SaoirseB]

And nobody did defend the men who did this to these women you mentioned. What we said was that if women allow themselves to be abused by men such as these when all their friends tell them about the abuse, then there's an obvious underlying psychological condition. Healthy, well-adjusted people don't tell their friends "laaawl you kidddd gurrrrl" when they tell them about how their partners are actively trying to cheat on them.

Is it the women's fault she got abused? No. Is it her fault she let herself be abused like that when all the evidence for her boyfriend's abuse was readily available? Yep.

The worst part of your posts was the fact that you used these isolated incidents to condemn all men to bastardhood, saying no man will ever change your mind while simultaneously writing off all women who do the same things. If you say abrasive things such as that, how are you surprised that the reaction is similarly abrasive?

I really honestly, truly have nothing to add to this.

 

[Nick333]

I'm not going to go back and dredge up every single post as evidence for you. If you really WANT to see them, you'll see them for yourself if you go back and re-read this thread.



Fair enough. You don't have to defend her. But was there a need to attack her? Was the name calling really necessary? Was the attributing of bad motives to her necessary?

Really, hamsters tongue in cheek inanity is not to be taken seriously. Feminazi trait 142: humorless.

 

[Foxhound5366]

Really, hamsters tongue in cheek inanity is not to be taken seriously. Feminazi trait 142: humorless.

Nick, are you seriously going to jump onto the feminazi label bandwagon, and then somehow try to justify the incredibly personal attacks SaoireB and myself have faced here? The hypocrisy is truly astounding.

Any 'humour' defense left a long time ago.

 

[registerforfree]

Fair enough. You don't have to defend her. But was there a need to attack her? Was the name calling really necessary? Was the attributing of bad motives to her necessary?

Probably not, but we would have done it regardless of her gender. Why should she be afforded special treatment we wouldn't reserve for anyone else?

I really honestly, truly have nothing to add to this.

I'm not surprised.

Saoir did just then. She's really having this conversation with herself. No need for you to post, she's quite happy to tell you what you said and think and that you're an ********* for saying and thinking it.

Hell, it's not even limited to us. She also knows what most females think and say. Don't forget that she claims sex is not important to the majority of women. Meanwhile womens-rights groups have for years been saying that women are sexually oppressed, because they're expected not to have healthy sex drives or at the very least hide them from public view. This is girl is so ironic that it's scary.

 

[Foxhound5366]

Probably not, but we would have done it regardless of her gender. Why should she be afforded special treatment we wouldn't reserve for anyone else?

Aaaah, so you're an equal-opportunity bigot. That is MUCH better, thanks for clearing up the misunderstanding.

 

[registerforfree]

Aaaah, so you're an equal-opportunity bigot. That is MUCH better, thanks for clearing up the misunderstanding.

Oh look who's back. Come to claim your victim badge?

This is the internet, son. If you can't hack it, don't cry about how you're victimized.

 

[Ancalagon]

Fair enough. You don't have to defend her. But was there a need to attack her? Was the name calling really necessary? Was the attributing of bad motives to her necessary?

I didn't call her any names and I see some posters have indeed called her a b-tch. I don't agree with that.

What I did say, and I stand by, is that she was testing him. Seeing if she could manipulate him. This happened before they were even dating. So a guy jokes that other women want him - shock, horror. Is that really so bad? He snatched the phone away from her because she was reading something private to him. He had known her for what, a week?

I guarantee that you would have done the same. Imagine if you went on a date with a guy, told a girlfriend how the date went, and then that same guy accidentally started reading your message to your friend. I guarantee you would do exactly the same.

In anycase, the OP's posts make it clear that it was not the snatching that made her angry, but the content of the messages. Let me be clear about something - these messages happened before these two were dating. Not after. He wasn't cheating on her or lying to her. He wasn't being unfaithful to her. He was joking to a friend - before he started dating this girl - that other women wanted his penis. Is that really so bad?

Once again - not lying, not cheating.

In other words, she had no right to get angry, yet demanded that he grovel to her. To see if he would grovel. To see if he would apologise for something that he should never have to apologise for.

I'm sorry I was ever talking to other girls before you? WTF? I'm sorry I told a friend that other women want me before we even hooked up? WTF? I'm sorry I made a joke about it? WTF?

Those are not things to be sorry about.

 

[SaoirseB]

I'm going to respond tomorrow. I'm way too exhausted right now to carry on hitting my head against this brick wall.

 

[Foxhound5366]

Oh look who's back. Come to claim your victim badge?

This is the internet, son. If you can't hack it, don't cry about how you're victimized.

I don't believe we need to 'hack it' on the internet. Call me sentimental but I still enjoy old-fashioned debates where people actually debate, where opinions evolve and mutual respect is shown by all parties.

Ever heard this famous quote?

I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

That's usually my starting position, but it goes out the window when some people start attacking and insulting other people without just cause. In life, everything stands or falls on just cause, and you've eroded whatever little claim you had to any through your repeated failure to engage with what anybody else has said (rather just disagreeing for the sake of it) and liberal use of personal insults.

SaoirseB ... calling this a brick wall is an insult to bricks.

 

[D3nz]

Hi guys,

So around the 24th last moth I met this awesome girl. We really hit it off well and really started to like each other.
We have similar interest and everything and she is really intelligent fun awesome and we just click.

So Friday night after we went out she sleeps over and in the morning the she sees this text I sent this other girl (its a whatsapp conversation with a girl before I even met her) in this conversation she saw I was having a chat with another female friend and I sent her these screen shots about conversations with other girls who want to get with me. So me and this female friend chat and say things like "b-tches want my D" and in hindsight it was a stupid conversation.

Fact of the matter is that it was before me and this new girl started seeing each other. we only declared that we really like each other in this week.

So Saturday morning after reading the msgs on my phone she gets upset and wants me to take her home. Later that day I apologize but she goes on saying im not the guy she thought I was and that i am a sleezy scaly ass-hole and she do not trust me anymore...

Then we stop talking and later i leave her a text saying I know she is upset and angry but if she wants to hang out she should call me.

She then laves me a message at 23:50 Saturday night saying: "I will probably cool off later, what you did is not cool"


Anyway i haven't called or texted her or anything today and neither has she. Do you think this is just anger and when she cools off she will let me know what's up or should I call after a while and try to get together to talk...


(Personally I feel she over reacted a bit but I know she really likes me and I really like her. I think she just has some trust issues...)

But yeah thanks for reading and hoping to hear some responses from some of you Alpha masters.

I didn't call her any names and I see some posters have indeed called her a b-tch. I don't agree with that.

What I did say, and I stand by, is that she was testing him. Seeing if she could manipulate him. This happened before they were even dating. So a guy jokes that other women want him - shock, horror. Is that really so bad? He snatched the phone away from her because she was reading something private to him. He had known her for what, a week?

I guarantee that you would have done the same. Imagine if you went on a date with a guy, told a girlfriend how the date went, and then that same guy accidentally started reading your message to your friend. I guarantee you would do exactly the same.

In anycase, the OP's posts make it clear that it was not the snatching that made her angry, but the content of the messages. Let me be clear about something - these messages happened before these two were dating. Not after. He wasn't cheating on her or lying to her. He wasn't being unfaithful to her. He was joking to a friend - before he started dating this girl - that other women wanted his penis. Is that really so bad?

Once again - not lying, not cheating.

In other words, she had no right to get angry, yet demanded that he grovel to her. To see if he would grovel. To see if he would apologise for something that he should never have to apologise for.

I'm sorry I was ever talking to other girls before you? WTF? I'm sorry I told a friend that other women want me before we even hooked up? WTF? I'm sorry I made a joke about it? WTF?

Those are not things to be sorry about.

Does any more need to be said...

I have nothing against Saorise. Misandry on the other hand (as well as misogyny) is something I detest. It can lead to all kinds of crazy behaviour like wanting to get rid of all men or castrating them all. Think we have a thread on one of those crazy misandrists somewhere.

 

[registerforfree]

I don't believe we need to 'hack it' on the internet. Call me sentimental but I still enjoy old-fashioned debates where people actually debate, where opinions evolve and mutual respect is shown by all parties.

Ever heard this famous quote?



That's usually my starting position, but it goes out the window when some people start attacking and insulting other people without just cause. In life, everything stands or falls on just cause, and you've eroded whatever little claim you had to any through your repeated failure to engage with what anybody else has said (rather just disagreeing for the sake of it) and liberal use of personal insults.

Mate, it's time you got off your high horse for a bit. If you want to preach about namecalling, preach to yourself. It didn't exactly take a lot of coaxing for you to label the lot of us misogynists for not agreeing with your opinions or viewpoints.

 

[Foxhound5366]

Mate, it's time you got off your high horse for a bit. If you want to preach about namecalling, preach to yourself. It didn't exactly take a lot of coaxing for you to label the lot of us misogynists for not agreeing with your opinions or viewpoints.

I'm not on a high horse, registerforfree. It just looks like that from your perspective.

 

[Hamish McPanji]

Oh look who's back. Come to claim your victim badge?

This is the internet, son. If you can't hack it, don't cry about how you're victimized.

Yeah you can just resort to name calling instead?