Relationships and finance...

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Patty

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I myself believe relationships are two way streets and both parties should contribute to the relationship equally or at least make a genuine effort because not everyone earns the same.

It says a lot about the girl. Her will to succeed in life. Not someone who is going to expect to be spoilt rotten every so often. Waiting to get married for a quick fix... easy way out.

What are your thoughts on this? ...are the days of the guy paying for 90% of everything over?
 
IMO I believe one should be open and honest with one's partner to discuss something like this. And 50/50 is totally acceptable to me, but each and every relationship is unique.
 
2 expensive

Life is way to expensive. A woman needs to contribute to the home budget. The onus is still on the man to provide i reckon.
 
If a man can't provide he doesn't deserve a woman. Take me as an example.
 
And what about dating? If you ask a girl out, do you automatically pay for everything except if she offers to help pay? Most of the girls I dated expected me to pay for everything, or at least didn't offer to share the costs. I'm talking about dating here, not a relationship yet.
 
Picard said:
If a man can't provide he doesn't deserve a woman. Take me as an example.
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That viewpoint comes from the days when most women didn't earn an income. Yes you should be able to provide, but not 100% of the expenses. 50/50 or close to it makes sense to me in a relationship or married couple.
 
I believe if women want legitimate claims to equality within a relationship then they should also be prepared to contribute. If a woman expects a man to provide solely because he's the man then she can't later claim equality in the relationship.
 
Slingshot said:
And what about dating? If you ask a girl out, do you automatically pay for everything except if she offers to help pay? Most of the girls I dated expected me to pay for everything, or at least didn't offer to share the costs. I'm talking about dating here, not a relationship yet.
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I'd say that the first few dates, whoever asked the other out should pay. After that if you end up dating regularly then it should become more balanced, with contributions from both parties.
 
Patty said:
I myself believe relationships are two way streets and both parties should contribute to the relationship equally or at least make a genuine effort because not everyone earns the same.

It says a lot about the girl. Her will to succeed in life. Not someone who is going to expect to be spoilt rotten every so often. Waiting to get married for a quick fix... easy way out.

What are your thoughts on this? ...are the days of the guy paying for 90% of everything over?
Click to expand...

bi = Boy Income
gi = Girl Income
s = Savings
rx = Retirement/Life Insurance expenses together
fx = Fixed Expenses living together
lx = Luxury Expenses both separate (for example, man will buy PC game, woman will buy expensive face wash or deodorant)

bi's lx = (((bi+gi)-(s)-(rx+fx)) / 2)
gi's lx = (((bi+gi)-(s)-(rx+fx)) / 2)

Basically, all income pooled together. Fixed expenses like House/Cars/Life Insurance/Medical Aid/Savings taken off of pooled income. Divided into 2 for "luxury item" expenses incurred by both.

This money can be saved or used for hair appointments etc. And it also divides it up equally especially if the guy (or sometimes girl) earns quite a bit more.

This will work in marriage and in long term relationships where you live together. Each gives "equally" and both get a "salary" after expenses.

This way everything is covered and nobody can bitch and moan about the other one having more money than them or contributing more to something when the other one blows their money on crack or pc games...

My cousin has a modified version of what I have and him and his wife (being together for 13 years) only had this going for the past 2 years and he's told me it saved them a crap load of heart ache because they always fought over money. Now they've saved enough and paying for things cash and don't stress about money or who gets how much and pays for what.
 
AcidRaZor said:
bi = Boy Income
gi = Girl Income
s = Savings
rx = Retirement/Life Insurance expenses together
fx = Fixed Expenses living together
lx = Luxury Expenses both separate (for example, man will buy PC game, woman will buy expensive face wash or deodorant)

bi's lx = (((bi+gi)-(s)-(rx+fx)) / 2)
gi's lx = (((bi+gi)-(s)-(rx+fx)) / 2)

Basically, all income pooled together. Fixed expenses like House/Cars/Life Insurance/Medical Aid/Savings taken off of pooled income. Divided into 2 for "luxury item" expenses incurred by both.
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Fully agree. Any decision that will impact on income received must be mutually agreed upon.
 
So anyone else have an SO that makes/has a lot more?
 
I think the guy should ask the girl out and while they get to know each other, as far as I know they guy pays BUT that doesn't mean a lady should not spend money on her man. She should also spoil him. As the relationship becomes more serious, and when the couple move in together, the expenses should be shared more equally. I would also say a no no to just having 1 joint account together and nothing else. For me, having your own seperate bank accounts and 1 joint account would work but at the same time, if you are serious about each other, be totally open and honest about finances. Don't go secretly buying stuff behind your partners back, I mean like something major. Just remember finances can be a no1 killer in a relationship
 
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Safferbeauty said:
I think the guy should ask the girl out and while they get to know each other, as far as I know they guy pays BUT that doesn't mean a lady should not spend money on her man. She should also spoil him. As the relationship becomes more serious, and when the couple move in together, the expenses should be shared more equally. I would also say a no no to just having 1 joint account together and nothing else. For me, having your own seperate bank accounts and 1 joint account would work but at the same time, if you are serious about each other, be totally open and honest about finances. Don't go secretly buying stuff behind your partners back, I mean like something major. Just remember finances can be a no1 killer in a relationship
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If you look at my explanation you'll notice a joint account yes, but whatever money bi and gi gets out in the end of the month to spend on lx, they could also save in their own bank accounts if they wish.

The reason for the joint bank account is that you'll get lower interest rate when you purchase a house (including financing cars) and you also have a better interest rate on any savings you might accrue.

But after all joint expenses are taken off (and savings for both of you are set out), the money left over for luxuries can be spent (or saved) by you or your partner whether they want to or not.

The basic thing I'd like to do is to get the basics out of the way. So that neither partner can screw the other one (metaphorically) with a huge amount of debt or be selfish in a sense where the other one has to pay for everything and whatever is saved with "my" salary is "mine" even though the partner pays for everything just because they have a bigger salary.
 
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