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The announcement of The Showmax Roast of Helen Zille a few weeks ago was met with mixed reactions, and, when the big day finally came on Friday, the showdown was nothing short of surprising.
READ: Zodwa Wabantu takes all the flak at the Roast of Pearl Thusi
While Zille was meant to be the roastee, when her panel of roasters was done with what had initially appeared to be a decent job of putting her in her place, Zille turned everything on its head, leaving some guests at the live recording wondering whether she may have written her own script. I was one of them.
Based on comments on social media, the hope had been that Zille would be put in her place for her loudly racist and transphobic commentary, among other bigotries.
That Zwai Bala, Loyiso Gola, Rian van Heerden, Londie London, Bongani Bingwa, JJ Tabane, Patricia de Lille and Melany Viljoen collectively failed to land their jokes was quite disappointing. Writing an article in which I sing the woman's praises has never been an aspiration of mine.
When one of the roasters reminded guests that Zille still referred to Zimbabwe as Rhodesia, OR Tambo International Airport as Jan Smuts Airport and airtime as units, I thought we were getting somewhere, but, for whatever reason, they opted out of building on the momentum.
Van Heerden's claims that Zille hated everyone equally (everyone else on the panel was adamant that it was only black people she was not too fond of) can barely be called an attempt at a roast – he may as well have been part of her entourage.
A first for SouthAah... Politicians are not usually on the hot seat at these roasts.
@helenzille takes one for the team at the
#RoastOfHellenZille in Sandton.
#LaughAfrica2025@City_Press@ShowmaxOnline pic.twitter.com/yH5HEF93Pn
— Women Love Each Other (@mbathambali493)
May 2, 2025
The "Cruella de Zille" who Bala said hated the black spots on dalmatians expressed being disappointed about the mediocre attempts by the roasters, who she dubbed "a bunch of clowns".
What some of them had achieved by labelling her the original Karen and the Kelly Khumalo of politics was swiftly undone by Zille's expression of utter boredom, saying her last encounter with a snooze fest of this magnitude was during her days in Parliament roughly a decade ago.
Zille said:
I was promised a roasting panel of A-list celebrities but not even Wikipedia could tell me who you people were.
According to the roastee, all she was subjected to were struggling comics, C-grade personalities and unmentionables that are not decent for publication.
I'm not even sure calling her well mannered for thanking Showmax for reducing unemployment in the arts through her roast would be appropriate.
She mocked them with:
For some of you, this is going to be your first invoice of the year. You're welcome.
When Gola took the mic, though – and I'm no fan of his – it became clear that the comedians were finally in the house. I love Tumi Morake, but she and co-host Trevor Gumbi, who appeared to have consumed too much giggle juice, both produced jokes that were few and far between.
From Sizwe Mpofu-Walsh's family woes to Zille's fiasco of a musical career, and from London's dating choices to daring white South Africans to admit that they thought apartheid had been nice, Gola's roast was mild.
By the way, I forgot to mention Mpofu-Walsh when listing the roast panellists because his time on the mic was a cruel reminder that his PhD is not in comedy.
Viljoen and London’s reality TV shows may have been bashed, but the truth is that the two women who some said were not the brightest crayons in the box actually cooked better roasts than most.
DA federal chairperson Helen Zille
Laugh Africa Comedy Festival
Politician Patricia de Lille was on the roasting panel.
Laugh Africa comedy festival
DA federal chairperson Helen Zille
Laugh Africa Comedy Festival
Politician Patricia de Lille was on the roasting panel.
Laugh Africa comedy festival
Speaking of London, some of the guests actually learnt from Zille that her real surname was Zulu, so it was odd that she was roasting a "coloniser". But on a lighter note, unlike Bala and his fellow TKZee members, she actually used the word 'fiasco' in the right context in her roast.
De Lille's jab at Gola's education (or lack thereof) did not land because she misconstrued the periodic table for mathematics, not a system that organises elements into a grid based on their atomic number. Tabane's sobriety was just as questionable and the less said of his roast, the better.
Comedian Tumi Morake on the red carpet ahead of the roast
Laugh Africa comedy festival
To be fair, the roasting panel tried hard and the audience actually did burst into laughter when it was said that Zille came from an era when the only pronouns were "baas" and the K-word.
However, I must make the painful admission that Zille seems to only be hated on social media, because her arrival on the stage was one of only two moments when guests felt a standing ovation was warranted.
By the end of the evening, Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma had been absolved of her "when people zol" ridiculousness with the Puff and Pass of Politics title officially being bestowed on De Lille for her career promiscuity that Zille said ranked higher than her [De Lille's] popularity among voters.
An US comedian who goes by the moniker Griff, who performed in the first segment, whipped the South African talents' behinds with his escapades, which included bits on impepho, his roast of the Zimbabwean accent, jabs at homeless South Africans and his shock over how black people in this country don't get shot in the head for bribing the police.
