SA rapture man apologises

darkevil

Senior Member
Joined
Mar 17, 2008
Messages
818
Reaction score
139
Location
Hell
Neels Jackson, Beeld

Johannesburg - It's back to the scriptures for a group of South Africans who believed the end of the world would start on May 21.

Johannes Coetzee, a supporter of American TV evangelist Harold Camping, said they would look to the scriptures to see where they got it wrong, and they would let themselves be corrected by the scriptures.

Camping incorrectly predicted that there would be a massive earthquake and the faithful would be taken away on May 21.

Coetzee said on Monday they were disappointed, but they were still well.

He believed that people who thought like him were in the same position that Jesus’s disciples had been in when he was crucified while they thought he would become king.

The end of days is near

He admitted they were wrong and apologised, but said this was only in some aspects, like the taking away of the faithful and the earthquake.

Coetzee is convinced that something very important happened in spirit. There was a worldwide proclamation that the end of days was near.

He referred to the Bible parable of the five wise men and five foolish maidens which spoke of the waiting groom. They were now trying to establish the reason for the delay.

Coetzee remains convinced that the final end of the world will arrive on October 21, when the Earth will be consumed by fire and sulphur.

He also said the group's hotel bill and every other bill had been fully paid.

Financially, he is poorer than before, but he says he now has wealth in heaven, and adds that he wants to serve no other God.

However, he will never go back to church - he is enduring the worst judgement and ridicule from churchgoers, he said.

Blind faith..coupled with a diminished capacity to learn from your mistakes will let you repeat the very same mistakes year in and year out.
Give it a rest..and rather spend your time trying to uplift your fellow man.:love:

http://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/News/SA-rapture-man-apologises-20110524
 
Or, from an alternative source . . .

HONG KONG. The end of the world, scheduled for around 6pm local time (everywhere) on Saturday evening, has been postponed after the seven-headed dragon prophesied to lead the Apocalypse washed up dead and rotted on Hong Kong’s Hung Shing Yeh beach this morning. “We’re having to take another look at Revelations,” conceded a forensic theologian. “It’s upsetting.”

According to pathologists’ reports, the beast’s likeness is consistent with the end-times prophecy of Revelations Chapter 12, Verse 3, which describes “a great red dragon, having seven heads and ten horns, and seven crowns upon his heads”.

However, said team leader Phyllis Tine, there was still some debate going on as to whether the carcass has been wearing seven crowns or six Dream Princess Barbi tiaras and an Alice-band.

“It does matter,” she explained. “If it’s crowns then it’s the Beast. If it’s Barbi tiaras, it’s probably just a homosexual who floated across from San Francisco on a lilo of sin and shame.”

According to Tine, the gigantic cadaver was “substantially calcified, covered in barnacles, and showed signs of gnawing”, suggesting that the creature had either been dead for several months or had recently escaped from a Chinese marine park.

Cause of death has not yet been determined, although it is suspected that it met with an “undignified and incredibly unlucky demise involving a toilet visit and three of its ten horns”.

Originally anticipated to rise from the ocean to bring torment and persecution unto the people of Earth sometime on Saturday afternoon, the tyrant reptile’s premature demise is now expected to suspend any further end-times activities indefinitely.

“It’s quite disappointing but not really surprising,” explained consulting theologian, Dr Flagellation R. Buttux of the International Institute of Pre-Tribulation Studies, saying that a number of the foretold harbingers of Armageddon had been conspicuously absent over the past weeks.

“Quite in spite of the official itinerary described by John of Patmos, we have no evidence at this time of any plagues of locusts, mysterious horsemen, a clamouring of angelic trumpets, the rapturous reclamation of the saved, rivers and seas turning to blood, or even a 200 million-man army amassing under the banner of the Antichrist, and preparing to bring terrible war upon the righteous.”

Although, he added, there were still “hints of impending doom”.

“Like Lady GaGa. And Justin Bieber. And gays. And Hollywood. And Jews. And Communism. And the anti-gun lobby.

“It’s still going to kick off. Just not the way we thought.”

:D
 
Yea people don't need proof that GOD exists so the net result is believing people who tell them BS. Proof is always the key!!!!!!
 
The world is full of nut jobs and crack pots. Religion is a great way of identifying them.
 
Neels Jackson, Beeld

Johannesburg - It's back to the scriptures for a group of South Africans who believed the end of the world would start on May 21.

Johannes Coetzee, a supporter of American TV evangelist Harold Camping, said they would look to the scriptures to see where they got it wrong, and they would let themselves be corrected by the scriptures.

Camping incorrectly predicted that there would be a massive earthquake and the faithful would be taken away on May 21.

Coetzee said on Monday they were disappointed, but they were still well.

He believed that people who thought like him were in the same position that Jesus’s disciples had been in when he was crucified while they thought he would become king.

The end of days is near

He admitted they were wrong and apologised, but said this was only in some aspects, like the taking away of the faithful and the earthquake.

Coetzee is convinced that something very important happened in spirit. There was a worldwide proclamation that the end of days was near.

He referred to the Bible parable of the five wise men and five foolish maidens which spoke of the waiting groom. They were now trying to establish the reason for the delay.

Coetzee remains convinced that the final end of the world will arrive on October 21, when the Earth will be consumed by fire and sulphur.

He also said the group's hotel bill and every other bill had been fully paid.

Financially, he is poorer than before, but he says he now has wealth in heaven, and adds that he wants to serve no other God.

However, he will never go back to church - he is enduring the worst judgement and ridicule from churchgoers, he said.

Blind faith..coupled with a diminished capacity to learn from your mistakes will let you repeat the very same mistakes year in and year out.
Give it a rest..and rather spend your time trying to uplift your fellow man.:love:

http://www.news24.com/SouthAfrica/News/SA-rapture-man-apologises-20110524

Look no further than Matthew 24:36
 
Funny thing is, I've been going to work passing cresta mall for just over a month, and only today I saw there was a 21-May billboard there.

Anyway what they're now doing is looking if they missed something, looking at the bible if they have a future hope of heaven and they got it. A similar thing happened in 1994, and for the life of me I can't explain whether they're right about Oct 21 or not, but I can tell you this it doesn't matter any more.

The preaching/warning of judgment will die down very fast, I say that because even though they'll believe oct 21 they won't be publicising it.
 
Look no further than Matthew 24:36

You will find something special for every occasion in there.

darkevil said:
Neels Jackson, Beeld
....
He referred to the Bible parable of the five wise men and five foolish maidens which spoke of the waiting groom. They were now trying to establish the reason for the delay.
...
Don't you know the bride is always late. It's tradition.
 
Video about the rapture by the thinking atheist:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9KlMWzKj4s&feature=youtube_gdata_player

So true..

Sent from my HTC Desire using MyBroadband Android App
 
"God really did destroy the world and the universe yesterday... but he destroyed them spiritually. We were expecting a real, physical rapture, judgment and destruction, but now we've discerned that it was a spiritual destruction. All you unbelievers may think that everything is continuing as before, but you all really have been annihilated... you just don't perceive it because you don't believe it. You may think that you can see me and my followers here still on earth, but we've really been raptured to heaven. The apparent continuation of the universe is just a 'trap' to separate out the elect, those who truly believe, from the reprobate."

HAHAHA :D
 
Johannes Coetzee, a supporter of American TV evangelist Harold Camping, said they would look to the scriptures to see where they got it wrong, and they would let themselves be corrected by the scriptures.

Put that book down on the ground and slowly back away from it! I'm sorry but I don't think you're qualified to even read never mind interpret the Bible anymore.

Cloaked rapture. Riiiiiight.
 
Sorry Folks! The end of the world has been cancelled due to the lack of management by the ANC. Once again the ANC has failed to deliver. We do apologise for any inconvenience caused on our behalf!!
 
Top
Sign up to the MyBroadband newsletter
X