Sick Taxi drivers

[PeterCH]

Harsh but fair. I agree to an extent, however a close family member was recently raped and I find it extremely difficult to pass ANY blame onto her shoulders. She was coming back from a club (dressed to impress, yes) and it happened on the way home. I was witness to one person blaming her for her outfit and I know what negative affect that statement has had on her.

I can differentiate that. Your family member didn't climb into a car
full of drunken sailors or thugs. In the original case here, the woman
put on a miniskirt and then knowing how SCUMMY these guys
are went into the taxi with them. It's different because for your
relative it wasn't avoidable.

 

[DJ...]

I wouldn't be impressed but I sure as heck would never allow my daughter to
1. Take a taxi.
2. Wear a miniskirt in a dangerous area.

You cannot stop even the most intelligent people from doing stupid things sometimes. If a person incorrectly weighs up the pros and cons of a situation, there is nothing you can do about it - and this will happen with your kids someday (not the rape thing hopefully) - their judgement will be impaired by factors outside of your control.

Sure you could get raped anywhere but I'd educate my daughter about
AVOIDANCE and sure as heck I hope she'd have the common sense
as an adult to know that short skirts and macho guys with visions of
women as sex objects DO NOT MIX.

Short skirts and revealing outfits are worn underneath the jeans and polonecks when they leave the house or are dropped off - spoken from experience (not that I wore them).

Macho men are the ones that they find themselves most attracted to and will inherently place more trust in the hands of these guys. Generally speaking. These guys know how to play on these weaknesses too, without a woman even realising its happening.

Kids will lie to you no matter how well you bring them up. You just have to be confident that you are doing a good enough job to ensure that their judgement is 99% correct.

A girl in a mini-skirt doesnt make for a girl with poor judgement. However a girl with poor judgement in a mini-skirt is more likely to be raped than one with good judgement. It can still happen to both either way, I agree with you - but you cannot stop them from doing it - you can only minimize the risk.

Terrible analogy here, but its like your house - if they want to get in, they will - you can merely minimize the risk and temptation. Your arguement here would be that you wouldnt leave the gate open inviting them in though. I agree sort of.

However, you dont have to be revealing to be sexy or attractive to the opposite sex. Should women stop looking sexy for fear of being raped? Especially if she knows she is! I mean by your logic, an attractive woman leaving the house should ensure she looks as unattractive as possible, otherwise if she is raped, she is to blame.

 

[DJ...]

I can differentiate that. Your family member didn't climb into a car
full of drunken sailors or thugs. In the original case here, the woman
put on a miniskirt and then knowing how SCUMMY these guys
are went into the taxi with them. It's different because for your
relative it wasn't avoidable.

Well maybe she wasnt expecting to be taking a taxi that day and had no alternatives - maybe she isnt much of a forward thinker? We can hypothesize all we like, the point here I suppose is you cant blame someone without understanding the context of their situation.

I see your point and it is a fair one under certain circumstances. I would accuse anyone who knowingly walked into Hillbrow with a racist shirt on of being stupid and I would blame them too. (Not a derail, just an analogy).

 

[DJ...]

I can differentiate that. Your family member didn't climb into a car
full of drunken sailors or thugs.

No, she climbed into a car with a drunken clubber who she had known for nearly a year.

 

[PeterCH]

You cannot stop even the most intelligent people from doing stupid things sometimes. If a person incorrectly weighs up the pros and cons of a situation, there is nothing you can do about it - and this will happen with your kids someday (not the rape thing hopefully) - their judgement will be impaired by factors outside of your control.

Look in SA we do have a problem with RAPE, one every 20 seconds.
Now when my mother was young, and living in a Communist country
(which was a damn good living for a commie country) she and many thousands of kids would hitchhike during summer break. It was also the era of shorter skirts
and virtually every girl would wear those in summer. However I point to you one difference, rape and sexual molestation were extremely rare.
She nor any of her sisters nor any of her friends ever had a problem
or even heard of others having problems like these.

If you live in a safe area it's OK to be sexy or attractive. When the men
around you understand you - it's OK. However when the guys around
you only have SEX on their minds its a given fact that you'll end up
molested especially if you have revealing clothing AND go to the wrong place at the wrong time.

You can say it's wrong to blame women or prevent them from being sexy,
however at the end of the day - what's better - NOT being raped and hiding a bit or showing off your feminine liberation only to suffer the indignity and pain of being molested or raped? Its a tough choice but in this f-ed up
world or country of ours filled with men who take a girl by force
every 20 seconds you can imagine that innovative and sometimes uncomfortable strategies are necessary.

Same can be said for burglar bars, electric fences and alarms. You
could argue that it's unfair for people to rob you and that it's not the victim's fault but if you don't take the minimum precautions at the end of the
day the insurance company and the rest of your family will blame YOU
not the thugs who took your stuff.

 

[PeterCH]

No, she climbed into a car with a drunken clubber who she had known for nearly a year.

Arguably they were friends and she didn't expect that to happen.