Social Anxiety

The Horseman

The Horseman

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Hi guys,

So I have suffered from Social Anxiety most of my life. I hated doing speeches @ school and would always have an excuse not to do them.

Funniest (well not so funny for me) is that my job requires me to present and speak in front of people on a regular basis. Now I have been doing ok for about 3 years but instead of getting easier I am finding my anxiety is at a all-time high. If I know I have to give a presentation or training it will occupy my mind for weeks and until the day comes. I have even considered having a huge swig of something strong before a presentation to aid my nerves.

On the day for the first few minutes I am a complete wreck, my heart pounds so bad I think I am going to have a heart attack, I can hardly speak and I am certain people pick up on this immediately. It’s so embarrassing I have often even thought of just running out the room and not coming back lol. It has always been an issue, but I don't know why it has gotten so bad.

It does get better though, after a few minutes I seem to stabilize and then I am fine, my nerves calm down a bit and I can focus on what I need to do but in the back of my head I am still thinking about the anxiety attack I just had.

It’s so weird because I am normally a confident person. I can speak to strangers no problem, I can speak in a group etc, I am fairly confident and normally the one who fights the battles. But when it comes to either me being in the center of a presentation or even confrontations, my flight or flight system seems to work overtime.

I honestly hate this, and the thought of it happening again makes me want to die. I seriously need to try sort it out so I can live a normal life and not try avoid every situation that requires me to present or talk in front of people. I even had a issue on the phone 2 days ago when I had to phone a client to find out why he hadn't paid his account.

I have done some research and I don't think I am depressed but simply just have social anxiety. I have read that there are drugs called Beta Blockers which actually prevent your brain from releasing to much adrenaline. This sounds like exactly what I need. I mean even if I hear something in the middle of the night and I think some one could be in my house, my heart races so bad that I can feel it beating in my head. I feel like I could have a heart attack from it as I get chest pains.

If I could reduce the amount of adrenaline released into my system when these situations arise I could then hopefully manage my condition a little easier.

Does anyone have valuable advice for me?

Thanks for reading. So it was so long.
 
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beta_blocker

It's like 3 cents a pill, and effectively smothers your fight and flight response.

*edit*

Oops, see you mentioned them at the end of your post. Try them, just speak to your doctor first, as I've seen someone take them and collapse shortly afterward due to a complete lack of blood pressure.
 
Put yourself out there.
Take every opportunity to speak in public, crowds and parties.
The more you do it, the more comfortable it will become and if that does not happen, learn to fake it.
You will start feeling more confident every time.
It worked for me.

I went from forgetting entire speeches and fumbling to holding effective meetings as assistant area manager.
There is no easy way to do this though.

There are a number of public speaking "classes" you can attend.
The following posts will most surely list them.

Good luck!
 
copacetic said:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beta_blocker

It's like 3 cents a pill, and effectively smothers your fight and flight response.

*edit*

Oops, see you mentioned them at the end of your post. Try them, just speak to your doctor first, as I've seen someone take them and collapse shortly afterward due to a complete lack of blood pressure.
Click to expand...

Thanks Copa. They sound like exactly what I need. Just to aid me in that first few minutes to calm my self down.

I will see if I can chat to my doc. Sure as hell don't want to start collapsing :p

Human said:
Put yourself out there.
Take every opportunity to speak in public, crowds and parties.
The more you do it, the more comfortable it will become and if that does not happen, learn to fake it.
You will start feeling more confident every time.
It worked for me.

I went from forgetting entire speeches and fumbling to holding effective meetings as assistant area manager.
There is no easy way to do this though.

There are a number of public speaking "classes" you can attend.
The following posts will most surely list them.

Good luck!
Click to expand...

I know what you are saying, but I have been doing this for almost 3 years and it doesn't seem to get easier. In fact if anything it has gotten harderer :(
 
It sounds like you have panic attacks in specific, well-defined and predictable circumstances. I had something similar with exam situations and my doctor prescribed me Ativan. I take it only when I feel the attack approaching and the correct dosage doesn't drive you to the other "who gives a damn side", it just takes the edge off your anxiety. This may be an option if your doctor finds that beta blockers are not suitable for you.
 
EvilDarkElf said:
It sounds like you have panic attacks in specific, well-defined and predictable circumstances. I had something similar with exam situations and my doctor prescribed me Ativan. I take it only when I feel the attack approaching and the correct dosage doesn't drive you to the other "who gives a damn side", it just takes the edge off your anxiety. This may be an option if your doctor finds that beta blockers are not suitable for you.
Click to expand...

Yeah I would definitely call it a panic attack. I had a weird one in the shops the other day, rather bizarre but I was buying something from a shop and was pushed in front of twice by 2 separate people. I got really worked up and my heart went nuts for some reason. One of the store guys saw what happened and intervened and told the lady that I was in fact in the queue waiting to pay, she just gave me this "I had no idea" look. But my nerves were stripped, my hands were shaking and I could hardly put my pin in. That with the thought that people could maybe notice my anxiety made it 10 times worse. And it wasn't out of anger that I was shaking it was purely just anxiety. As I said, totally bizarre!

copacetic said:
Ativan is pretty powerful stuff, I'd make that a last resort, personally.
Click to expand...
Never heard of it. But if it is potent then not sure I want to take it all the time.
 
I would probably go for counselling.

As you say,you have been doing this for 3 years, you definitely are putting yourself out there.

Likely what is happening is that there is a train of thought, a vicious circle, that you cant stop. A counsellor should help you identify that train of thought, realize it is irrational, and stop it.

Just FYI, I'm not a counsellor or a psychologist or anything (I'm a computer scientist). I just think its possible that... you start thinking about the event, pretty soon, you are worrying how it will go down, that worry turns into fear (what if I mumble? or forget my words), which turns into anxiety. You know its irrational, but you cant help it.
 
Ancalagon said:
I would probably go for counselling.

As you say,you have been doing this for 3 years, you definitely are putting yourself out there.

Likely what is happening is that there is a train of thought, a vicious circle, that you cant stop. A counsellor should help you identify that train of thought, realize it is irrational, and stop it.

Just FYI, I'm not a counsellor or a psychologist or anything (I'm a computer scientist). I just think its possible that... you start thinking about the event, pretty soon, you are worrying how it will go down, that worry turns into fear (what if I mumble? or forget my words), which turns into anxiety. You know its irrational, but you cant help it.
Click to expand...

Thanks Ancalagon. I think you make a very good point. It's almost like it manifests in my mind and then when it gets to the event its now become such a big deal in my head I panic and the anxiety sets in.

Its funny though, if its a smaller group of people I am generally ok. But between 8 - 15 people and I don't do well in the begging.
 
Possibly the stupidest advice ever, but no harm in trying. Put a rubber band on your wrist, when you feel the panic starting, snap it against your wrist, hard.
 
The Horseman said:
Never heard of it. But if it is potent then not sure I want to take it all the time.
Click to expand...
You only take one if you can feel the attack is imminent, I take maybe one in two months. I do agree with copacetic though that it is not a first-line treatment.

If your attacks happen on a regular basis you may have to follow a combination of the things suggested in this thread. It helps to know a bit about treatment options before you speak to your doctor, but the most important thing is to actually speak to a medical professional and to listen to the advice given with an open mind.

Also, many people I know somehow feel that anything that is not a physical illness doesn't count as something with which you can bother a doctor. Please do not do this to yourself. Anything that impacts your ability to lead a normal life is a problem and should be addressed, and that is what the myriad of medical practitioners are there for, so talking to them about it is the reasonable thing to do.
 
Last edited:
copacetic said:
Possibly the stupidest advice ever, but no harm in trying. Put a rubber band on your wrist, when you feel the panic starting, snap it against your wrist, hard.
Click to expand...

Very interesting. . .You think that might help? Willing to give anything a go.

EvilDarkElf said:
You only take one if you can feel the attack is imminent, I take maybe one in two months. I do agree with copacetic though that it is not a first-line treatment.

If your attacks happen on a regular basis you may have to follow a combination of the things suggested in this thread. It helps to know a bit about treatment options before you speak to your doctor, but the most important thing is to actually speak to a medical professional and to listen to the advice given with an open mind.

Also, many people I know somehow feel that anything that is not a physical illness doesn't count as something with which you can bother a doctor. Please do not do this to yourself. Anything that impacts your ability to lead a normal life is a problem and should be addressed, and that is what the myriad of medical practitioners are there for, so talking to them about it is the reasonable thing to do.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the advice. It would be nice to know that there is something I can take before getting into the situation that would help me cope.

I think even knowing there is something that will help, may even take away the anxiety I get weeks prior.
 
copacetic said:
Possibly the stupidest advice ever, but no harm in trying. Put a rubber band on your wrist, when you feel the panic starting, snap it against your wrist, hard.
Click to expand...

Aversion therapy?

There is a more positive version of this type of therapy.
You have a "charm".
This charm could be anything really. I normally use a pen.
It is there to give you something to literally hold on to when you are stressed and focuses your mind to the action at hand.

The thing that you can do is some breathing excercises and speech lessons.
It will allow you to focus on the basics, inflection, intonation etc.
Breathing is VERY important as panic attacks happen when breathing is not happening.
Lack of oxygen, panic.
 
Last edited:
The Horseman said:
Hi guys,

So I have suffered from Social Anxiety most of my life. I hated doing speeches @ school and would always have an excuse not to do them.

Funniest (well not so funny for me) is that my job requires me to present and speak in front of people on a regular basis. Now I have been doing ok for about 3 years but instead of getting easier I am finding my anxiety is at a all-time high. If I know I have to give a presentation or training it will occupy my mind for weeks and until the day comes. I have even considered having a huge swig of something strong before a presentation to aid my nerves.
Click to expand...

I used to bunk school on the days i had to the dreaded Oral, so know where you are coming from.

I have had to do a few talks and presentations, and what helped my confidence, was knowing and understanding the subject matter, and most importantly realising you are the expert, not them, the audience.
Know your subject backwards and forwards, they know nothing or very little.
Remember that.
 
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