Day 1
8am US Eastern time: Millions of workers arrive at their desks across the US and discover that there is no internet access. At first it is believed it’s only a few companies, but unbeknown to Americans the problem is worldwide.
9am: The porn industry collapses.
10am: Realising that they cannot bitch about internetlessness on Twitter, millions of calls are made from cellphones to internet service providers who can offer no answers. Technicians are on the problem.
1pm: News outlets start calling the lack of internet in America a “very, very serious problem”. It is also reported that the internet has not been working in Europe and Asia for at least a week before the problem is reported in America, proving once again that Americans have no idea what is going on outside their country. In South Africa barely anyone notices that the internet is not working. Most at first think it’s just slow service. The Department of Home Affairs reports that the internet crisis has not affected its operations. “Everything is normal for us,” says the minister.
Meanwhile, the rest of Africa is asking, “what is this internet thing?” ...
