The devil votes DA
...and the saints go marching in wearing ANC colours. What do you mean you didn’t know that? You ought to familiarise yourself with the Gospel according to Jacob, and avoid the fiery damnation that comes with casting a vote against God’s chosen party.
In Jacob’s Gospel, a famous parable is recounted, of a foolish man who voted for the DA, and found himself in hell.
Jacob 19: 23 thusly says:
23And in hell he lifteth up his eyes, being in torment, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Comrade Lazarus in his bosom.
24And he cried and said, Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus, that he may dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame.
25But Abraham said, Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime voted for the Opposition, and Comrade Lazarus for God’s chosen party, the ANC: Now he is rewarded eternally, and thou art tormented.
26And beside all this, between us and you there is a great gulf fixed; so that they who would pass from hence to you cannot; neither can they pass to us, that would come from thence.
27Then he said, I pray thee therefore, father, that thou would’st send him to my father's house:
28For I have five brethren; that he may counsel them to vote for the ANC, lest they also come into this place of torment.
29Abraham saith unto him, They have Jackson Mthembu and the prophets; let them hear them.
30And he said, Nay, father Abraham: but if one went unto them from the dead, they will repent from voting for the DA.
31And he said unto him, If they hear not Jackson Mthembu and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded to vote wisely, though one rose from the dead.
We have been warned, brethren! We have the Gospel to caution us, and the words of Jacob himself, who told the people in Eastern Cape that to vote for the ANC is to choose heaven, and to vote for the opposition is to throw your vote into hell. Do you want to be cast into the lake of fire with your devilish opposition vote, where there is wailing and gnashing of teeth? Or do you want to spend eternity in Abraham’s bosom?
