I'd like to discuss why sometimes a thought will pop into our head and we simply cannot get it out. It will often escalate into something much bigger.
Two weeks ago I got into a fight with someone in Durban. He punched me and I punched him back, it was on Durban beachfront. We basically had a disagreement on parking and road rage from both our sides turned into a minor brawl.
The police happened to be patrolling and saw this going on. We were forced to follow them to the nearest police station just south of Berea and had to sign a document stating we were disturbing the peace and each given a R100 fine. On the form, it said we had to arrive at any police station in two weeks and pay an admission of guilt fine of R100. On this form they also set a court date a month ahead if you refuse to pay the fine and would rather face a judge. I was fully prepared to pay the fine and within two weeks I arrived at the police station to pay my fine. Not so easy.
Apparently one of the officers altered my court date, he scribbled it out and set a new one, obviously a typo. This is when things got interesting. I arrived after two weeks at Berea police station to pay my fine, only to be told that since the court date had been altered on the form, I would indeed have to visit a public prosecutor on the court date, which was the 28th of April.
For those of you who don't know, when the police charge you with a crime, they have a charge book with a carbon sheet etc. Any alterations made on the form reflect on the underlying charge sheet, so the officer re-assured me that if the public prosecuter referred to the charge sheet, and the court date was indeed altered, the courts would throw the case out and scrap the charge.
However, as I was driving home I started to think of the worst things. Being charged for public violence, assault or whatever else they would throw at me in court. My mind started racing to being locked up in a cell where the only time you could actually lie down and sleep was if you lay sopping wet in a 1 inch later of Jeyes Fluid smelling water, assuming you're not gonna be sexually molested by the guys in there with you (which is the norm for holding cells in case you've never been in one). I did not want to go through that again. Having to stare up at the celing at a mesh covered roof and iron guarded window, so stained with spit and faeces you can barely make out figures passing by outside.
I'd done this before and the fear of it crept back. Even driving back from the police station two weeks ago my heart was racing and palms were sweaty (excuse the pun) but I was literally quaking in my boots. For the last two weeks since I left that police station, the worst thoughts have been running through my head and I've battled to sleep, kept waking up at night thinking about whats gonna happen. All this even though the officer at the police station told me they would crap the form due to the error. I'm terrified of being locked up again, I simply could not face a cell again, climbing the walls without a sense of time, drenched in jeyes fluid and keeping a safe distance from everyone else is not fun
Two days ago I arrived at the police station prepared to face the Public Prosecuter which you have to do if you could not pay a fine. If he's not satisfied, he will send you to court and you will be charged by a judge and without an attorney your pretty much screwed. Needless to say, even after everything I was told, I was terrified and quaking in my boots. I waited in line, sitting on dirty benches with other businessmen and drunkards, prozzies etc who had to face the rap.
Long story short, when I sat down with the prosecutor in his little office, he took one look at the form and stamped it "Rejected".
I walked out of there wondering why I had put myself through hell for two weeks. What is it about the human mind that imagines the worst? I'm no psychologist but I think sometimes we put ourselves through hell for nothing. We think the worst. Is our marriage gonna work out? Are our kids on drugs? Is our money safe or will I become bankrupt and lose my house? What if my car breaks down, my house catches on fire? How will I pay the bills? What do we do this to ourselves?
Two weeks ago I got into a fight with someone in Durban. He punched me and I punched him back, it was on Durban beachfront. We basically had a disagreement on parking and road rage from both our sides turned into a minor brawl.
The police happened to be patrolling and saw this going on. We were forced to follow them to the nearest police station just south of Berea and had to sign a document stating we were disturbing the peace and each given a R100 fine. On the form, it said we had to arrive at any police station in two weeks and pay an admission of guilt fine of R100. On this form they also set a court date a month ahead if you refuse to pay the fine and would rather face a judge. I was fully prepared to pay the fine and within two weeks I arrived at the police station to pay my fine. Not so easy.
Apparently one of the officers altered my court date, he scribbled it out and set a new one, obviously a typo. This is when things got interesting. I arrived after two weeks at Berea police station to pay my fine, only to be told that since the court date had been altered on the form, I would indeed have to visit a public prosecutor on the court date, which was the 28th of April.
For those of you who don't know, when the police charge you with a crime, they have a charge book with a carbon sheet etc. Any alterations made on the form reflect on the underlying charge sheet, so the officer re-assured me that if the public prosecuter referred to the charge sheet, and the court date was indeed altered, the courts would throw the case out and scrap the charge.
However, as I was driving home I started to think of the worst things. Being charged for public violence, assault or whatever else they would throw at me in court. My mind started racing to being locked up in a cell where the only time you could actually lie down and sleep was if you lay sopping wet in a 1 inch later of Jeyes Fluid smelling water, assuming you're not gonna be sexually molested by the guys in there with you (which is the norm for holding cells in case you've never been in one). I did not want to go through that again. Having to stare up at the celing at a mesh covered roof and iron guarded window, so stained with spit and faeces you can barely make out figures passing by outside.
I'd done this before and the fear of it crept back. Even driving back from the police station two weeks ago my heart was racing and palms were sweaty (excuse the pun) but I was literally quaking in my boots. For the last two weeks since I left that police station, the worst thoughts have been running through my head and I've battled to sleep, kept waking up at night thinking about whats gonna happen. All this even though the officer at the police station told me they would crap the form due to the error. I'm terrified of being locked up again, I simply could not face a cell again, climbing the walls without a sense of time, drenched in jeyes fluid and keeping a safe distance from everyone else is not fun
Two days ago I arrived at the police station prepared to face the Public Prosecuter which you have to do if you could not pay a fine. If he's not satisfied, he will send you to court and you will be charged by a judge and without an attorney your pretty much screwed. Needless to say, even after everything I was told, I was terrified and quaking in my boots. I waited in line, sitting on dirty benches with other businessmen and drunkards, prozzies etc who had to face the rap.
Long story short, when I sat down with the prosecutor in his little office, he took one look at the form and stamped it "Rejected".
I walked out of there wondering why I had put myself through hell for two weeks. What is it about the human mind that imagines the worst? I'm no psychologist but I think sometimes we put ourselves through hell for nothing. We think the worst. Is our marriage gonna work out? Are our kids on drugs? Is our money safe or will I become bankrupt and lose my house? What if my car breaks down, my house catches on fire? How will I pay the bills? What do we do this to ourselves?
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