In January 2004, expatriate Bronwyn McIntosh wrote an Internet article entitled Dangers Of South Africa: Fear Of Crime. That October she was denounced as a racist by President Thabo Mbeki in his weekly column. Now she is writing a book based on the correspondence that ensued with hundreds of people around the world.
"I will always be split in two - did I make the right decision? And I will ever have a life that straddles the ocean - a foot on each continent. I will not ever be completely whole again."
These were my words written in an article four years ago. I wrote of feelings personal to myself and my experience, never for a moment thinking it would trigger an emotional deluge.
The passage is the one quoted by most expats who correspond with me. It aptly communicates feelings that never leave them. A continuous stream of e-mails arrive weekly for me, from all over the world. The ebb and flow depends on the time of year and events on the political and economic stage. In four years, this has never stopped.
Many describe intense emotional upheaval upon leaving South Africa (and the experiences that led to their decision). They feel torn at "having" to leave and their families are torn apart by their departure. Others remain in South Africa (and want to leave) but describe their ambivalence - they ask me for help and guidance with their decision. Their desire to leave is triggered by a fear for their future.
Fear fuels most of the departures. The major fear is crime - most people have experienced violent crime and been touched by it in a myriad of ways.
They tell me that these days, the fences are higher, the steel bars and safety doors have multiplied and are stronger and the criminals are becoming cleverer. Despite all of that, people feel that it's simply "a matter of time" before crime will affect their family and they want to stay ahead of the statistics.
South Africa draws a passionate response from people. Students, tourists, businesspeople who've visited the country for a short period of time write about how deeply the visit affected them and, in some instances, changed their life path. These people want to return.
Others write and thank me for changing the course of their life because they read my article and decided not to go and live in South Africa. Do I feel good about that? No. That was not my intent.
When I receive letters asking for information about visiting the country, I encourage them to go and see South Africa. I explain that I haven't lived there in six years and I cannot give them advice about safety. I also tell them that South Africa is a unique country and culture and they will fall in love with it.
The economy is also mentioned by most people - the economy and the prohibitive business and employment laws. They are drawn to the lifestyle, the scenery, the ambience and the culture. They want to live in and build businesses in South Africa, and contribute to the stability of the economy. However, the crime precludes this. Many people simply want a better future for their children.
Survival, prosperity and a need for safety are primal human needs since time immemorial. Once those are met, people turn their energies to other endeavours. There are many correspondents who would return to South Africa, to contribute to and bolster the economy, if they were assured of a safe, stable infrastructure and basic services. Their perception is that South Africa is not a place where they can secure a "better life" and this is why they leave or do not come back.
The original article was written and published in January 2004 on
www.escapeartist.com. During the past four years, it has generated enormous controversy and correspondence.
I agreed with its objectives but felt it should also highlight the other side of life. I trusted its articles and had used them to research countries (when we had decided to leave). The editor asked me to write my story, which I did. They chose the title.
President Mbeki drew further attention to the article by calling it "racist" in his ANC newsletter in early October 2004. My response to him was published in national newspapers during the same week.
University students had contacted me to request permission to use my article as a source for a political studies paper and to interview me and quote my article in a journalism course submission. A British man used the article to file a motion against his ex-wife taking their young daughter to live in South Africa.
I didn't anticipate any of this. I didn't intend to draw attention to myself or become an "expert" on anything, I merely recounted my personal experiences and expressed my feelings as a woman, wife and mother. The article has blessed my life in that I have been able to make contact with hundreds of people all over the world.
Complete strangers have offered me friendship and hospitality. If I could begin a world tour today and visit each person for one day, I would travel to every continent and it would take nearly two years.
I have decided to honour this avalanche of correspondence by collating it into a book, to be called Torn in the New SA.
This is my opportunity to give a voice to all the expats, the "should I stay or should I go" people, and those who adamantly refuse to leave.
Many want to express their feelings about living, staying or leaving South Africa and this is their chance. We cannot speak of the beauty of South Africa without contrasting the fear that it evoked in us.
South Africa remains a part of us but our self-preservation instinct or neurosis, say some, outweighed our love for the country. It's easy to say we're racists or cowards, I call us survivalists. We are modern pioneers, forging a better life for our family in an uncertain world. Sadly, we have become the true "scatterlings of Africa" - a casualty of our heritage. I have compiled a questionnaire to formulate and structure correspondence and feedback to reach me by the end of April.
If you, or someone you know, would like to complete a questionnaire or contribute an opinion, e-mail me at
[email protected]
# Bronwyn McIntosh received a US green card and lives in Richmond, Virginia.
