Toxic Masculinity (joke) - not all men

maumau

maumau

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On Monday a colleague was having a bad day. She and I were emailing one another joking about some phone calls we received.

I made the CRINGINGLY EMBARRASSING mistake of referring to a potential customer let's call him Carl, an a.hole in an email and sending the mail to the Carl instead of my colleague. OMW how am I admitting this in public?

Next day I get a call from a man. He says "hi, this is the biggest a.hole speaking......" I realised what had happened and was speechless for a few seconds then began er, but, oh, er, and landed up apologising but the damage was done. He hung up on me after threatening to paste my email on public forums.

Carl phoned our Managing Director and I quickly forwarded the insulting email to the MD so he'd know what he was dealing with. MD reprimanded me and said that the Carl sounded like a reasonable man and was definitely NOT an a.hole.

Anyway I emailed a profuse apology to Carl and felt awful all day yesterday and all night.

This morning an email arrived from Carl saying he accepts my apology and considers the incident over.

WHAT A WONDERFUL MAN. I think I'm in love :love:

Tl;dr I accidentally sent an insulting email to the person I was insulting. Followed up with an emailed apology. Received a mail to say apology accepted.
 
I respect that you posted this.

Question though:
Had he responded and remained negative, would that then constitute toxic masculinity?

Is there a point to be made for "Toxic Femininity", given the entire incident started with two females gossiping and slandering a person behind their back?

Not picking a fight, just curious how others see this.
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To be clear, I personally find the "toxic masculinity" argument flawed in so many senses it's more or less a joke. Just as not all women are bitches, so not all males are arseholes. They earn those titles on their own merits, based on their own individual behaviour, not because of their gender.
 
maumau said:
On Monday a colleague was having a bad day. She and I were emailing one another joking about some phone calls we received.

I made the CRINGINGLY EMBARRASSING mistake of referring to a potential customer let's call him Carl, an a.hole in an email and sending the mail to the Carl instead of my colleague. OMW how am I admitting this in public?

Next day I get a call from a man. He says "hi, this is the biggest a.hole speaking......" I realised what had happened and was speechless for a few seconds then began er, but, oh, er, and landed up apologising but the damage was done. He hung up on me after threatening to paste my email on public forums.

Carl phoned our Managing Director and I quickly forwarded the insulting email to the MD so he'd know what he was dealing with. MD reprimanded me and said that the Carl sounded like a reasonable man and was definitely NOT an a.hole.

Anyway I emailed a profuse apology to Carl and felt awful all day yesterday and all night.

This morning an email arrived from Carl saying he accepts my apology and considers the incident over.

WHAT A WONDERFUL MAN. I think I'm in love :love:

Tl;dr I accidentally sent an insulting email to the person I was insulting. Followed up with an emailed apology. Received a mail to say apology accepted.
Click to expand...

Word of advice. Never send mails with unprofessional stuff in it via business or even regarding business. Never do that over the phone as well.
 
maumau said:
Tl;dr I accidentally sent an insulting email to the person I was insulting. Followed up with an emailed apology. Received a mail to say apology accepted.
Click to expand...
That happened to me already, just on WhatsApp :ROFL:
 
What does this have to do with toxic masculinity? Are we just throwing around buzzwords?
 
UrBaN963 said:
I respect that you posted this.

Question though:
Had he responded and remained negative, would that then constitute toxic masculinity?

Is there a point to be made for "Toxic Femininity", given the entire incident started with two females gossiping and slandering a person behind their back?

Not picking a fight, just curious how others see this.
---------------
To be clear, I personally find the "toxic masculinity" argument flawed in so many senses it's more or less a joke. Just as not all women are bitches, so not all males are arseholes. They earn those titles on their own merits, based on their own individual behaviour, not because of their gender.
Click to expand...

The toxic masculinity part was just a joke, it's a load of BS , but I couldn't think of a thread title. "Not all men are bastards" "what a nice guy" "wish all men were so nice"?

This man just stands out to me as an exceptional person. He could have ignored my apology or he coul have emailed his acceptance and stopped there but he didn't, instead the last words of his mail were "I consider this incident over". Thereby putting me at ease even though i'd insulted him.

Not all woman are bitches all of the time but some us are and most of us are some of the time. Same with men..... and yes, we were being bitchy by sniggering behind people's backs.

Grateful I dodged a bullet.
 
maumau said:
The toxic masculinity part was just a joke, it's a load of BS , but I couldn't think of a thread title. "Not all men are bastards" "what a nice guy" "wish all men were so nice"?

This man just stands out to me as an exceptional person. He could have ignored my apology or he coul have emailed his acceptance and stopped there but he didn't, instead the last words of his mail were "I consider this incident over". Thereby putting me at ease even though i'd insulted him.

Not all woman are bitches all of the time but some us are and most of us are some of the time. Same with men..... and yes, we were being bitchy by sniggering behind people's backs.

Grateful I dodged a bullet.
Click to expand...
Good reply. Sarcasm doesn't always carry over in text form, mores the pity.

Seems like a good dude. Most people aren't bitchy most of the time, there's just the occasional few who screw it up more often than the rest.

I'd take Moose's advice though :P
 
Moosedrool said:
Word of advice. Never send mails with unprofessional stuff in it via business or even regarding business. Never do that over the phone as well.
Click to expand...
Words to live by had a similar incident where we were having some issues with a guy internally relating to a customer project.... This guy was always tactless/aggressive when dealing with internal company staff but always was the soul of politeness in front of customers.

So he took exception to something our team did and replied to us on e-mail with both barrels calling us incompetent...Not bothering to check that the customer was CCéd on the mail. Not as bad as insulting the customer but still really unprofessional,
 
It sounds like you both handled it well, I have never found the need to much further than accepting an apology, or issuing one when I am wrong but then I detest drama. I also have no issue with someone calling me an axxhole, I have a terrible temper at times and struggle to communicate what goes on in my head at the best of times, despite having the best of intentions.
 
Moosedrool said:
Word of advice. Never send mails with unprofessional stuff in it via business or even regarding business. Never do that over the phone as well.
Click to expand...

Porn chains are quite popular in SA. I have had random colleagues I don't even speak to add me to their porn chains. I don't like my business domain, or any domain, in these chains. I am always curious about how this is allowed.

Even when I don't receive the mail due to some mechanism, my email still appears as a receiver to be consumed by others receiving it.

Some people are retards.
 
maumau said:
Tl;dr I accidentally sent an insulting email to the person I was insulting. Followed up with an emailed apology. Received a mail to say apology accepted.
Click to expand...

haha it happens to the best of us. I've done the same. Luckily not a customer/client. It was a fellow colleague I insulted and I sent the email to him instead of the person I wanted to (also a colleague).

Apologised and we put it behind us.
 
UrBaN963 said:
Good reply. Sarcasm doesn't always carry over in text form, mores the pity.

Seems like a good dude. Most people aren't bitchy most of the time, there's just the occasional few who screw it up more often than the rest.

I'd take Moose's advice though :p
Click to expand...

Thanks for this, I've asked a mod to edit thread title showing Toxic Masculinity is meant as a joke.
 
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