What is a friend?

[satanboy]

I have come to realise that over many years (30 years+) of experience that TRUE friends do not exist. They let you down, disappoint and/or stab you in the back. Don’t get me wrong. At the start it is fantastic, you do everything together, have great talks and then things start going backwards slowly. The process may take years.

Why do friends lie to your face? If they don’t want to visit, just say so. What is so difficult? The words sure are easy, “I don’t feel like it because, I am lazy, tired or depressed.” I would never be angry with any of these answers. But instead they either just don’t pitch up or lie.

 

[copacetic]

I have come to realise that over many years (30 years+) of experience that TRUE friends do not exist. They let you down, disappoint and/or stab you in the back. Don’t get me wrong. At the start it is fantastic, you do everything together, have great talks and then things start going backwards slowly. The process may take years.

Why do friends lie to your face? If they don’t want to visit, just say so. What is so difficult? The words sure are easy, “I don’t feel like it because, I am lazy, tired or depressed.” I would never be angry with any of these answers. But instead they either just don’t pitch up or lie.

I've had a couple of good friends for over a decade.

I've lost a couple of friends over the years as well, obviously.

But there are people in my life I trust explicitly and I can't imagine why that needs to change.

 

[satanboy]

I have even told my "best" friends to never lie to me. I can handle anything, just don't lie. It is the cowards way.

 

[copacetic]

I have even told my "best" friends to never lie to me. I can handle anything, just don't lie. It is the cowards way.

Look, you get lying and you get social politeness, which does sometimes involve bending the truth somewhat. This idea of absolute honesty sounds like a great idea in theory but in practice it's pretty daft.

Don't hold your friends to your own (apparently) super high standards, you will just drive people away.

Honest people will find you, just allow it to happen though, no need to try and control people's behaviour.

 

[NoLogic001]

people are unreliable.....!

 

[Lycanthrope]

I have come to realise that over many years (30 years+) of experience that TRUE friends do not exist. They let you down, disappoint and/or stab you in the back. Don’t get me wrong. At the start it is fantastic, you do everything together, have great talks and then things start going backwards slowly. The process may take years.

Why do friends lie to your face? If they don’t want to visit, just say so. What is so difficult? The words sure are easy, “I don’t feel like it because, I am lazy, tired or depressed.” I would never be angry with any of these answers. But instead they either just don’t pitch up or lie.

Good question. I'm a cynic, so my perception of people speaks for itself--everyone is out for themselves and most people are only there for you so long as you never really need them to be there for you

I've found that I would always bend backwards to help people who ask yet the number of people who would reciprocate are few and far between (if any even really exist) because, "Oh, uh, gee, any other time but now" or whatever other excuse you feel the need to insert there.

I've mostly detached myself from people--I don't feel I can really trust anyone any more

 

[copacetic]

Good question. I'm a cynic, so my perception of people speaks for itself--everyone is out for themselves and most people are only there for you so long as you never really need them to be there for you

I've found that I would always bend backwards to help people who ask yet the number of people who would reciprocate are few and far between (if any even really exist) because, "Oh, uh, gee, any other time but now" or whatever other excuse you feel the need to insert there.

I've mostly detached myself from people--I don't feel I can really trust anyone any more

I am a cynic as well, hasn't stopped me.

 

[Lycanthrope]

I am a cynic as well, hasn't stopped me.

You don't seem to be a complete cynic just yet then

 

[DigitalSoldier]

Look, you get lying and you get social politeness, which does sometimes involve bending the truth somewhat. This idea of absolute honesty sounds like a great idea in theory but in practice it's pretty daft.

Don't hold your friends to your own (apparently) super high standards, you will just drive people away.

Honest people will find you, just allow it to happen though, no need to try and control people's behaviour.

Agreed!

 

[copacetic]

You don't seem to be a complete cynic just yet then

Aah, so you are only a true cynic, when your view gets completely miserable and unbalanced?

 

[Lycanthrope]

Aah, so you are only a true cynic, when your view gets completely miserable and unbalanced?

Basically, yes--it's when you lose faith in humanity based largely on the people around you.

 

[copacetic]

Basically, yes--it's when you lose faith in humanity based largely on the people around you.

That's circumstantial though, you have to be sceptical about your decision, since it's based on arbitrary factors outside your control.

 

[Lycanthrope]

That's circumstantial though, you have to be sceptical about your decision, since it's based on arbitrary factors outside your control.

Yes, that does, in fact, describe the causative factor to becoming a cynic rather well

 

[copacetic]

Yes, that does, in fact, describe the causative factor to becoming a cynic rather well

Well, exactly, it's not rational to extrapolate that all people are ****s because you arbitrarily happen to be surrounded by a couple.

 

[Lycanthrope]

Well, exactly, it's not rational to extrapolate that all people are ****s because you arbitrarily happen to be surrounded by a couple.

I am not a cynic because there are some good people in the world, I'm a cynic because most people aren't and I have yet to meet someone who doesn't think with, "When it's convenient" as the foundation of a relationship.

 

[copacetic]

I am not a cynic because there are some good people in the world, I'm a cynic because most people aren't and I have yet to meet someone who doesn't think with, "When it's convenient" as the foundation of a relationship.

I don't understand beginning bit of your statement and the latter is precisely what I am counselling you not to do.

 

[satanboy]

I don't believe everyone I know is a ****. I just believe they are unreliable, liars and more friendly acquaintances rather than BEST friends.

I just find it rather depressing to get burnt every time.

 

[copacetic]

I don't believe everyone I know is a ****. I just believe they are unreliable, liars and more friendly acquaintances rather than BEST friends.

I just find it rather depressing to get burnt every time.

No offence, but perhaps you need to examine the reasons then why you attract the sort of people you do.

 

[mass09]

satanboy has issues with being burnt? I suggest you leave hell for a calmer, cooler place.

 

[JIMMYtheSKULL]

True friends can usually be counted on one hand, however when you throw certain things into the equation (money, sex, girls, drugs) people can can screw up, lying also really gets to me..... Guess what im trying to say is everybody has the cappacity to screw up. So sometimes you need to give a little slack we all can make mistakes, life is a learning curve.