What is your biggest flaw?

AcidRaZor said:
It's not a sudden bout. May appear sudden to you (or anyone) cause I don't talk about it. I keep pushing those kind of thoughts out of my head on a daily basis, and for the most part that works, but then someone will get mad at me for "lying" to them and it just spirals out of control.
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Well yes... wouldn't you say that's a bigger issue than memory? Like saying my biggest flaw is forgetting to put my clothes away because then my wife nags at me and I have to beat the hell out of her.
 
Get bored of things very quickly don't know if it's a flaw, but it is difficult to keep myself busy.
 
cerebus said:
Well yes... wouldn't you say that's a bigger issue than memory? Like saying my biggest flaw is forgetting to put my clothes away because then my wife nags at me and I have to beat the hell out of her.
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Not sure what you mean?

You're saying I'm beating up the people who "nags" me when I forget stuff?
 
AcidRaZor said:
Not sure what you mean?

You're saying I'm beating up the people who "nags" me when I forget stuff?
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No, I'm saying you're focusing on the trigger rather than the gun. IOW, your poor memory causes people to get upset with you, which sets off a feeling of self loathing. The real problem isn't your memory, lots of people have a poor memory in all sorts of ways; it's the fact that it's so easy for you to suddenly hate yourself on the drop of a dime. If my wife gets upset because I left the cupboard doors open, that's fine, it's a common human flaw that I have of absentmindedness; but if I reacted to it in a disproportionate way, wouldn't you consider the reaction to be a more distressing issue?
 
cerebus said:
No, I'm saying you're focusing on the trigger rather than the gun. IOW, your poor memory causes people to get upset with you, which sets off a feeling of self loathing. The real problem isn't your memory, lots of people have a poor memory in all sorts of ways; it's the fact that it's so easy for you to suddenly hate yourself on the drop of a dime. If my wife gets upset because I left the cupboard doors open, that's fine, it's a common human flaw that I have of absentmindedness; but if I reacted to it in a disproportionate way, wouldn't you consider the reaction to be a more distressing issue?
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I don't think I'm acting disproportionately. If it was a simple matter of cupboard doors I'd be able to deal with it. But this deals with people's feelings, not cupboards. They FEEL hurt. I don't like hurting anyone, hell, even if they deserve it (throw a punch or whatever), afterwards I'm the one to apologize for the fight. I can't stand it that they hurt because of my quirks. I can't stand that they THINK OF ME LESS because of that. I can't stand that they might not want me in their lives anymore because of that (and that topic has most recently come under discussion).

I don't want to lose people from my life, like I said. If it was over a cupboard, big deal. But it's not that. And the consequences is at the boiling point. Integrity/Trust etc comes into play.

You won't lose integrity/trust from your wife because you forgot to close the cupboard, she'll just bitch about you doing it "every time" even if you remember to do it from now on. But if she were to not trust you anymore because of your memory or you assuming she knows something but you forgot to mention it to her and when you do mention it to her you're saying it as if she already knows.... and then she starts accusing you of lying to her, gets mad, can't trust you and ends up in divorce...

Would you still say that it's overreacting?
 
Heebs said:
I battle to get angry with those that deserve it and when I finally blow my top, it's with the wrong person who doesn't have a clue what I'm on about or isn't responsible for my tyrade !!

Then I feel bad.
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...eish, I know the feeling :erm:
 
@ol mean bastard

I have always been perfect. I'm flawless.

People are flawed for not realising how flawless I am.
:)
 
AcidRaZor said:
I don't think I'm acting disproportionately. If it was a simple matter of cupboard doors I'd be able to deal with it. But this deals with people's feelings, not cupboards. They FEEL hurt. I don't like hurting anyone, hell, even if they deserve it (throw a punch or whatever), afterwards I'm the one to apologize for the fight. I can't stand it that they hurt because of my quirks. I can't stand that they THINK OF ME LESS because of that. I can't stand that they might not want me in their lives anymore because of that (and that topic has most recently come under discussion).

I don't want to lose people from my life, like I said. If it was over a cupboard, big deal. But it's not that. And the consequences is at the boiling point. Integrity/Trust etc comes into play.

You won't lose integrity/trust from your wife because you forgot to close the cupboard, she'll just bitch about you doing it "every time" even if you remember to do it from now on. But if she were to not trust you anymore because of your memory or you assuming she knows something but you forgot to mention it to her and when you do mention it to her you're saying it as if she already knows.... and then she starts accusing you of lying to her, gets mad, can't trust you and ends up in divorce...

Would you still say that it's overreacting?
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Yeah I'd still say it's overreacting. What can you do about your forgetfulness? Not very much. Why can't the people around you accept that there's a facet of you which you struggle with, and trust that when you screw up it's not out of an impure intention? That they are unable to do so, speaks more to their insecurities than your flaws. If you weren't so ready to blame yourself immediately, you'd stand up to them and apologize sincerely but also this is who I am, and you really are going to have to learn to deal with it permanently because it's part of the total package.
 
cerebus said:
Yeah I'd still say it's overreacting. What can you do about your forgetfulness? Not very much. Why can't the people around you accept that there's a facet of you which you struggle with, and trust that when you screw up it's not out of an impure intention? That they are unable to do so, speaks more to their insecurities than your flaws. If you weren't so ready to blame yourself immediately, you'd stand up to them and apologize sincerely but also this is who I am, and you really are going to have to learn to deal with it permanently because it's part of the total package.
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Yea guess you're right. My need for them not to think ill of me or lose them out of my life because of it is greater than what might be their own insecurities or intention to leave regardless because they can't deal with that. Guess that's another flaw of mine, can't let go easily.
 
weirdly enough, im quite in a good mood today. even though I've lost those people
 
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