What would you do ?

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adviceplease

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Let me first say I'm an active member of this forum who has followed the trend of creating a new nick for discussing a personal issue.

If you knew that someone was thinking of killing themself, what would you do ? You understand that this person is just tired of the daily struggle of life and according to them has nothing worth living for.

1. Do you continue to try to talk them out of it ?
2. Do you let others know so that maybe they can help ?
3. Do you just give up and accept that you're not going to talk them out of it ?
4. If you were in this person's position would you want help ? Would you still want someone to confide in ?
5. Do you think it's a cry for help or a bit of attention-seeking ?


This person is a distant acquaintance who has taken to confiding in me when they're down/going through stuff. This person has talked about suicide in the past, but this time I'm concerned they're serious. The reason I started this thread is so I can direct their attention to it. Lately every bit of advice and encouragement I give has just been shot down. I'm not sure of what to say anymore. Do you believe it's okay for someone to commit suicide if they have nothing to live for ?
 
I have more than a passing acquaintance with the subject of suicide and IMO people who do commit or try to commit suicide generally don't talk about it. You must remember there are people out there who like getting attention and sympathy from others.
 
Singal said:
I have more than a passing acquaintance with the subject of suicide and IMO people who do commit or try to commit suicide generally don't talk about it. You must remember there are people out there who like getting attention and sympathy from others.
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The problem is I'm not sure if this person is like that.
 
adviceplease said:
The reason I started this thread is so I can direct their attention to it.
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You do know this is gonna attract troll posts, right? Or at least people who say he/she/them is an attention whore. Might actually drive him/her/them to do it.
 
Ninja'd said:
You do know this is gonna attract troll posts, right? Or at least people who say he/she/them is an attention whore. Might actually drive him/her/them to do it.
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I'm hoping someone will have some helpful advice.
 
I will not direct their attention to it if the comments are harmful.

I could not edit the previous post :(
 
You say that this person is a distant acquaintance, does he/she not have closer friends they can confide in ?I know that sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger, but YOU have to remember that you are not responsible for others actions or wellbeing. You have made the suggestion they seek a therapist, the ball's in their court now.
 
I do not believe that if someone talks about committing suicide that they aren't serious. Cry for help - yes. Attention seeking - no.

This person is depressed and feeling helpless and lost. @ the previous comment regarding attention whore - shame on anyone who thinks that.

Your friends needs to talk about this and get to the root of the problem. It's unfortunate that for financial reasons they cannot seek professional help however saying that perhaps you could take it upon yourself to find a professional willing to do pro bono work or alternatively ring up a psychologist and ask them who or what organisation they could recommend.

Good luck
 
adviceplease said:
I have made that suggestion, but this person does not have medical aid, and financial constraints appear to be part of the problem.
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There are some standard helplines that are fee - maybe this should be the first option, even if you call on the person's behalf for advice on how to handle the situation.
 
Singal said:
You must remember there are people out there who like getting attention and sympathy from others.
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... or need attention and sympathy in the short term.

Perhaps they're alone and want someone to care for them?
Perhaps they'd love for someone to ask how're they're doing?
 
Dolby said:
... or need attention and sympathy in the short term.

Perhaps they're alone and want someone to care for them?
Perhaps they'd love for someone to ask how're they're doing?
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I agree - perhaps they need attention. Not necessarily looking for it but need it. Needing some compassion.
 
It's fine to give attention if people NEED it and you can handle it, but NOT at the expense of your own wellbeing. People can get so caught up in other people's lives, that it affects their own. So my advice is not for your friend OP, but for you.
 
Dolby said:
... or need attention and sympathy in the short term.

Perhaps they're alone and want someone to care for them?
Perhaps they'd love for someone to ask how're they're doing?
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^this

It's also just that you might be on the receiving end of the negativity because you might just be the person they talk to about these things, because others have just switched off and/or don't want anything to do with them anymore, for whatever reason it may be.

Leave them be if you are tired and its affecting you. I'm sure you won't be the first person to stop listening and they'll hopefully realize that they should just stop talking about it and try to move on from whatever is bothering them or let them act on it. You can't control it and I suspect that they just need someone to talk to because no one else is around
 
Singal said:
It's fine to give attention if people NEED it and you can handle it, but NOT at the expense of your own wellbeing. People can get so caught up in other people's lives, that it affects their own. So my advice is not for your friend OP, but for you.
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+1
 
there's an organisation called lifeline who don't charge for councelling. your friend could phone them and talk about his problems. it often helps to vent and sometimes this brings things into perspective.
 
Thank you all for the advice. I had not realised I was taking my friend's problems personally. I will still be there when they need to vent, but I will advise them to call Lifeline the next time suicide comes up.
 
adviceplease said:
I have made that suggestion, but this person does not have medical aid, and financial constraints appear to be part of the problem.
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State hospital then. The government psych units are pretty kitted out now
 
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