There's a big difference between Lobola and a Dowry.
Lobola is paid to the bride's family by the groom's family. The woman is valued, respected, revered. An african bride is considered a worthy thing to have. The groom's family pays a token price to show respect for her worth and the loss of income to her family. In modern times, the lobola is more of a traditional gesture, and the money is used towards the wedding anyway because the bride's family pays for the wedding. It is seen more as a contribution towards the wedding than "buying of a wife" these days. Once Lobola is paid, it is done. There is no further monetary claim, and the bride certainly isn't going to beat her husband to force his family to give them more money.
Dowry is paid by the bride's family to the groom's family. The woman is considered almost worthless.
In India, men have a fit if they have a daughter, because generally women cannot work, are not strong, will not earn money for the family, and you have to PAY to get someone to marry her. They would prefer to have a son. Infanticide is high for girls. Because of the caste system, fathers spend an inordinate amount of time trying to get a man of a higher caste to marry his daughter because it will bring him honour and wealth and status. The only worth a father attributes to his daughter is whether or not she is beautiful enough to draw the attention of a higher caste man. A woman is seen as a burden in their society. They try to extort more money out of her family, who are likely to pay because the continuation of the marriage is what will maintain their "status". If the groom cannot get more money out of the bride's family, they resort to killing her as a means to sever the tie to the bride's family.
It is a messed up system.
