Diet motivations

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mooks

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I need a diplomatic way to encourage my SO to stick to his diet and get back into gym.

Realistically he is never going to be sleek and trim (and I kinda prefer it that way) but he is also getting to an age where if he doesnt get his weight in check while he is young, I worry about his health (he LOVES his salty foods and bacon-anythings so cholesterol and the likes are a concern).

He told me this morning that his weight has currently peaked at an all time high so there needs to be some serious changes happening. Because I live in another country, I cant monitor his diet and food etc so how else can I motivate him to stick to his (our?) goals? He becomes quite defensive if I point out his over eating and I understand that it stems from embarrassment but gently trying to cajole him away from the beer and Mcdonalds isnt getting me anywhere.

Hulps :(
 
So you live in seperate countries?

How about a motivational email/SMS every now and again? Or explain to him the health consequences.
 
Tell him there will be no sex for him when you see each other again and he's still fat.
 
mooks said:
I need a diplomatic way to encourage my SO to stick to his diet and get back into gym.

Realistically he is never going to be sleek and trim (and I kinda prefer it that way) but he is also getting to an age where if he doesnt get his weight in check while he is young, I worry about his health (he LOVES his salty foods and bacon-anythings so cholesterol and the likes are a concern).

He told me this morning that his weight has currently peaked at an all time high so there needs to be some serious changes happening. Because I live in another country, I cant monitor his diet and food etc so how else can I motivate him to stick to his (our?) goals? He becomes quite defensive if I point out his over eating and I understand that it stems from embarrassment but gently trying to cajole him away from the beer and Mcdonalds isnt getting me anywhere.

Hulps :(
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Motivate him with sex. It works 60% of the time, every time!
 
Picard said:
Tell him there will be no sex for him when you see each other again and he's still fat.
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That would be cutting my nose to spite my face IMO. Gal's got needs too you know :(
 
Does he even want to lose weight and be slim? So far I've gathered that you want him to lose weight, but has he ever discussed his weight and expressed why he wants to lose it?

If he wants to lose weight just to "look better" or "be healthier", then you're going to have an uphill battle that you'll probably lose.

Find out his own motivations and then support him. If he is wishy-washy about it, explore his beliefs and get to the root cause of them. Keep asking questions that get to the root of the problem. So if he wants to "be healthier", simplify it to it's most basic form and find out exactly what "healthier" is for him. Then keep talking about it until he develops a seriously strong desire for it. The point of the exercise is to find a single peg that he can fall back on when his motivation starts waning.

That worked for me.
 
Just do what any woman does. "If you really love me..."

Then it's up to him to either stick to it or not.

I've stopped with fizzy drinks/sugar/take-out etc. I also eat more regularly. It's cheaper that way. My motivation is my lack of money (and too much time at night NOT to cook or braai something myself). I actually look forward in going home after work now :)
 
abzo said:
Clearly this relationship is doomed. Dump him.
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Clearly :( I dont know why I didnt see it before .... :cry:

Ejeckt said:
Does he even want to lose weight and be slim? So far I've gathered that you want him to lose weight, but has he ever discussed his weight and expressed why he wants to lose it?

If he wants to lose weight just to "look better" or "be healthier", then you're going to have an uphill battle that you'll probably lose.

Find out his own motivations and then support him. If he is wishy-washy about it, explore his beliefs and get to the root cause of them. Keep asking questions that get to the root of the problem. So if he wants to "be healthier", simplify it to it's most basic form and find out exactly what "healthier" is for him. Then keep talking about it until he develops a seriously strong desire for it. The point of the exercise is to find a single peg that he can fall back on when his motivation starts waning.

That worked for me.
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He isnt wishy washy at all. He isnt happy with his weight, he knows it affects our sex life and his self image. Also, neither of us wants to look like heffalumps in wedding pics. That said, he has the will power of a hungry Somalian. We talk about his diet frequently (mostly because we were both quite round at some point, but I've managed to get within 3kgs of my goal weight in the last year, while he has actually gained weight), but he always has some slick justification for that cheeky hamburger or that extra pint.

Which begs my original question: how do I diplomatically tell him I dun want him to be a fatty anymore :( Tubby I can handle, fatty is not so cool.
 
Get him to read up on Atkins. Easiest way to lose weight while still eating as much as you like.
 
If I was overweight and my fiancé had an issue with it, I'd want her to tell me "listen here you fat ****, you'd better sort yourself out!"

That's how relationships should be, IMO.
 
abzo said:
Wait, you're marrying someone that you can't even be open with? :wtf:
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Not at all. My problem is that I'm a verbal 'bull in a china shop' and I KNOW that his weight is a sensitive issue for him. I don't want to hurt him and I also know that sensitivity is not my strongest characteristic. So, I'm look for advice on how to approach the issue with kindness. Saying : "you're fat and your belly gets in the way when we get amorous" is probably going to have quite a negative effect on both his self worth AND our sex life.

I just don't want to hurt someone I love, but I still want to tell him how I feel.

EDIT: Plus, I once told him to 'stop being such a glutton' and while he put the fork down, he looked like a kicked puppy. I dont need to tell him he is fat. He knows it. I just want to know how to motivate him from afar and get my msg across coz till now neither tough love nor subtle re-enforcement has done the job.
 
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