[video]http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_webb_how_i_hacked_online_dating.html[/video]
Wow! That's exactly what I did! That's sooo cooool. Minus the bad dates, I had a really cool screening technique. But I did have to do the fake opposite-sex profile to see how things worked "on the other side."
To make things way more eerie and and ridiculously freakishly mind-numbingly awesome, I met someone who has been a friend of a friend (several friends) most of my life, but we never actually crossed paths. I've been brainwashed all my life about how badly I'm going to have to compromise... and I ended up meeting someone who I didn't need to compromise for... yet :-D (Although I'm totally willing!) ...We think of the same things at the same time, makes life so easy! I never had the faintest inkling of an idea that I could be so happy. To boot, she checks all my superficiality boxes - that is to say - the really meaningless things I wanted such as blue eyes, and 10 other things I never really thought mattered... but thought of nonetheless... And our families match... things really could not be any more perfect. In fact, if I could imagine it better, I would go out and look for it... but it can't, and I haven't been so sure of much in my life. So, I agree with that TED, you really can't be picky enough.
Most dating sites are fairly useless - matching you up with people who are like you, or who are the way that you, in your ignorance and inexperience, may think you'll get along with... And do you really, *really* know anything about yourself from someone else's point of view? Most people's lack of self-insight alone makes facebook a better dating site than most dating sites on the net.
Add to that the power of direction: Suddenly because it's a dating site, you view EVERYONE on there as potential mates.... which is fairly ridiculous... it's like walking down the street with the intention of stopping everyone as a potential mate... Also, these sites also increase the chances for the REAL FREAK SHOWS (and they are out there!) to meet people...
...So it quickly becomes clear why people have adverse first impressions of online dating.
Its far from an exact science, but when you take into account marriage statistics along with MBTI (not an exact science, I did mention that, right?), it becomes clear that the most common personality types are compatible with each other... which explains why it's not a problem for most people to find mates. On the other hand, the least common personality types may really only find one mate in 1 000 000 (literally!) in a relatively small country such as SA - when you take into account cultural background and a fair age window.
You may find that if you are one of the rarest personality types, and really value a certain cultural background, that there are as few as 5 unmarried, potential perfect mates for you, in the entire country (and then we're not even taking into account their economic bracket) - the only way to sift through those kinds of odds is in fact using technology... and an asymmetrical matching algorithm.
I've played with most dating sites on-and-off since 2004... there was only one that came near what I was looking for: OKCupid.com. It has since been acquired by Match.com - and changed quite significantly, but the core functionality is still mostly intact.
It's also a great place to make friends and meet like-minded people. The guy who kept OKCupid's blog updated is releasing a book soon... that was always a fun read!
