White South Africans offer blanket confession for all future evils

N

NameOfBeast

Senior Member
Joined
Nov 9, 2005
Messages
874
Reaction score
0
PRETORIA. White South Africans have offered to sign a blanket confession, accepting blame for all current and future setbacks in the country, from non-delivery by the ANC to European athletics officials doing gender tests, in the interests of more efficient government and to save precious time and tax money being wasted on paranoid racist witch-hunts.

The decision follows the latest statements by government, implying that white South Africans were racist for not going to O.R. Tambo International Airport to cheer returning athletes.
Click to expand...
...a recent study had revealed that blaming whites was the second largest consumer of ministers' time, after rolling around in the Treasury vault and giving each other high fives. Service delivery was 14th on the list, just behind hot rock treatments and being measured for ill-fitting suits.

"Whites are desperate to contribute to this society," explained Cracker-Blanco, "but they find themselves demonized by their government at almost every turn.

"Which is why accepting all blame for everything ever is a really great compromise: we speed up service delivery by minimizing finger-pointing, and we don't confuse or upset the government because God forbid anyone in government should ever have to think."
Click to expand...
He also apologized for global warming – "If only we hadn't had so many braais" – and said that whites "truly regretted" causing the inevitable cooling of our sun, the collapse of our solar system, and the ultimate disintegration of the Universe.
Click to expand...

http://www.hayibo.com/articles/view/1114
 
The similarities between this government and Mugabe are actually quite stunning.
 
Dear Malema

Notice the lack of any type of salutation in my greeting. Also note that the phrase dear is used quite loosely and incincerely due to the fact that we as white south africans have absolutely no respect whatsoever for you. Do I need to be more blunt? We, like the rest of the world, believe that actions rather than "official" position determine respect worthiness.

Pleasantries aside, please could you confer with your cadre, league, party, cronies and whatever other fancy names you have for the people who buy rediculously expensive cars while 80% of YOUR country lives in poverty (because apparently we as white South Africans have only been guests here for the past 357 years). Once you have conferred and deliberated, please let us know what exactly we are supposed to be doing? Should we be striking and attending functions at the airport midweek (effectively grinding our already strained organisations to a halt for two hours) or may we continue working so you can afford and maintain your humble living standard as a politician. Also please let us know if we may continue our prolonged stay in your country, or should we be asking some other country if we may visit them for 357 years?

Finally, would it please your majesty if all news agencies got permission from the palace before publishing any articles? Facts and protocol are after all overrated, why don't we go the bob route, seeing as that worked out so well. What does the international community know in anycase, we should just sanction ourselves again and have our own special athletics tournaments where we just have men and woman run together with bottles of hormones strapped to their backs.

For your kind consideration

The blamed ones (We're f'ing sorry already!) :p

PS: This letter is a satire in jest, please don't jest tyre me ;)
 
I don't even go to O.R. Thambo to use it for it's intended purpose, if I can help it!

Of course some of us tax-paying citizens don't have days off mid-week to go stand uselessly at international airports mind you. It's called GETTING A JOB!

The sad thing is, I don't think this satirical article is far off the mark :(
 
JHatman said:
The similarities between this government and Mugabe are actually quite stunning.
Click to expand...

So are the similarities between this country and America, this country and Sweden, this country and Britain.
LOL@ your funny statement.
 
But they do not have wild lions. And no Malema's.
So we will give them some lions and they can have Malema if they are unsure what to feed it.
 
Mila said:
But they do not have wild lions. And no Malema's.
So we will give them some lions and they can have Malema if they are unsure what to feed it.
Click to expand...

you are a smart one for wanting to feed the dumb black dude to a lion.good on you.makes a very good case for things whites must take blame for.
 
we need to invest in white "cutouts"
can place them all over SA in places of high demand.......
after all in the next 2 - 5 years thats all there will be left in SA at the rate that people are leaving...
then they can blame as much as they want, shoot when they want and just put up a new cutout once the old one starts showing signs of wear and tear
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top
Sign up to the MyBroadband newsletter
X