10 things you should know before you get married

rpm

rpm

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Getting your financial plan in order takes away a great deal of stress in a relationship, so it’s advisable to do it before entering into a marriage. Listed below are 10 more tips to assist in keeping your finances as a couple in perfect order:

1. Keep separate current accounts and credit cards. Don’t accept responsibility for someone else’s overspending.

2. Early into the relationship, find out how much debt you will have together. This must be handled with complete honesty, or this could lead to financial complications further on in the marriage.

3. Both parties should consider having a retirement fund. One salary is not usually enough to support two people when it comes to retirement and having resources built up could assist in the event of separation.

4. If you are both earning a salary it should be agreed upfront who is going to pay for what. This can be a sensitive topic, so it would be advisable to split everything from retirement savings to expenses on a proportional basis.

5. Money that comes in as a windfall or bonus should be divided into the respective savings plans or put towards debt repayment, such as your bond.

6. Consider having both parties’ names on the bond registration papers.

7. It would be advisable for each of the parties to receive a bit of ‘pocket money’. It doesn’t have to be a lot and the amount doesn’t even have to be fixed - but even a couple of hundred rand a month will give each of you a little freedom.

8. If there are differences between the two parties when it comes to spending and one is more conservative than the other, try to reach a common ground. If one partner manages the family finances, the other should assist and get involved so that he/she gets an idea of how much it costs to run the household.

9. If the one partner is reluctant to divulge information, the other should try to be assertive as he/she has a right to know. If he/she still withdraws the information, then the other party should consider contacting his/her broker to get the information. A person’s reluctance to discuss the situation may mean that he/she has not done a very good job at managing the finances and a way of confronting the situation would be to talk about the situation and explain that it’s not an attempt to make him/her feel inadequate, but to assist in getting things on track. Both parties need to be open and transparent when it comes to the family’s finances.

10. If reaching an agreement proves to still be a challenge, it may help to get an unbiased second opinion. This can be achieved by finding a certified financial planner and asking him/her to help define the goals and laying out a strategy to meet them. He/she can also poi
 
Dankie Oom rpm :D

Some very good advice in there. I recently discussed my debt with my girlfriend. It was tough but very good and now we have a plan and debt is being fully paid off today and tomorrow.
 
Someone once said that sometimes buying milk by the carton works out cheaper than keeping a whole cow just for milk..
 
Now for the usual suspects (Arthur &co) to tell everyone how financial planning and/or separate bank accounts are from Teh Devil again.
 
rpm said:
10. If reaching an agreement proves to still be a challenge, it may help to get an unbiased second opinion. This can be achieved by finding a certified financial planner and asking him/her to help define the goals and laying out a strategy to meet them. He/she can also poi
Click to expand...

Think rpm hit the word count limit. I'm just gonna pretend it follows on saying "He/she can also poison the other party" :whistle:
 
satanboy said:
Amazing how many people get this wrong.
Click to expand...

+1
In fact it should be made illegal to have someone's salary deposited into a joint account.

I know of men who have their wive's salaries deposited into their own bank account.
They then spend the money on booze and other things which the wife doesn't know about and then have the audacity to complain about every penny they need to spend on their wife or family.
In one case the man was lazing around doing odd jobs and earning peanuts while the wife was earning the bacon yet she had no say over how the money was spent. I don't know why some women accept that sort of abuse.
 
Checklist below, happily married :)
rpm said:
Getting your financial plan in order takes away a great deal of stress in a relationship, so it’s advisable to do it before entering into a marriage. Listed below are 10 more tips to assist in keeping your finances as a couple in perfect order:

1. Keep separate current accounts and credit cards. Don’t accept responsibility for someone else’s overspending.
Done
2. Early into the relationship, find out how much debt you will have together. This must be handled with complete honesty, or this could lead to financial complications further on in the marriage.
Done
3. Both parties should consider having a retirement fund. One salary is not usually enough to support two people when it comes to retirement and having resources built up could assist in the event of separation.
Done
4. If you are both earning a salary it should be agreed upfront who is going to pay for what. This can be a sensitive topic, so it would be advisable to split everything from retirement savings to expenses on a proportional basis.
Done
5. Money that comes in as a windfall or bonus should be divided into the respective savings plans or put towards debt repayment, such as your bond.
She does that :)
6. Consider having both parties’ names on the bond registration papers.
All hers
7. It would be advisable for each of the parties to receive a bit of ‘pocket money’. It doesn’t have to be a lot and the amount doesn’t even have to be fixed - but even a couple of hundred rand a month will give each of you a little freedom.
I do that :)
8. If there are differences between the two parties when it comes to spending and one is more conservative than the other, try to reach a common ground. If one partner manages the family finances, the other should assist and get involved so that he/she gets an idea of how much it costs to run the household.
Done
9. If the one partner is reluctant to divulge information, the other should try to be assertive as he/she has a right to know. If he/she still withdraws the information, then the other party should consider contacting his/her broker to get the information. A person’s reluctance to discuss the situation may mean that he/she has not done a very good job at managing the finances and a way of confronting the situation would be to talk about the situation and explain that it’s not an attempt to make him/her feel inadequate, but to assist in getting things on track. Both parties need to be open and transparent when it comes to the family’s finances.
Not an issue
10. If reaching an agreement proves to still be a challenge, it may help to get an unbiased second opinion. This can be achieved by finding a certified financial planner and asking him/her to help define the goals and laying out a strategy to meet them. He/she can also poi
Not an issue
Click to expand...
 
rpm said:
He/she can also poi
Click to expand...

Poi refers to both a style of performing art and the equipment used for engaging in poi performance. As a performance art, poi involves swinging tethered weights through a variety of rhythmical and geometric patterns. Poi artists may also sing or dance while swinging their poi.
Click to expand...

478px-Poi_circles.jpg
 
Paul_S said:
+1
In fact it should be made illegal to have someone's salary deposited into a joint account.

I know of men who have their wive's salaries deposited into their own bank account.
They then spend the money on booze and other things which the wife doesn't know about and then have the audacity to complain about every penny they need to spend on their wife or family.
In one case the man was lazing around doing odd jobs and earning peanuts while the wife was earning the bacon yet she had no say over how the money was spent. I don't know why some women accept that sort of abuse.
Click to expand...

In the past it was the otherway around, wife sits at home the whole month and come pay-day, the wife walks with a wallet the size of an PnP carry bag, pushing a trolley through the mall, while the husband walks a few steps behind, dragging his feet with a look of self pitty on his face. I even have a friend that was denied sex if he doesn't give up his pay cheque.
 
Why is it important that both appear on the bond papers when assuming they're married in COP - as most people in SA are?
 
YingYang said:
Why is it important that both appear on the bond papers when assuming they're married in COP - as most people in SA are?
Click to expand...

I can think of a couple of reasons:
1.
A lot of people now days marry with an ante nuptial contract (whether it be with or without accrual).
If the bond is only in one person's name then that person can dip into the access bond without the other partner being aware of it or approving.
New quad bike, jet ski, aircraft, R50,000 golf clubs, etc.

2.
With a joint bond both parties need to sign the documents for a re-advance or re-financing of a bond and if required an affordability study is done on the joint income and household expenses.
 
Paul_S said:
I can think of a couple of reasons:
1.
A lot of people now days marry with an ante nuptial contract (whether it be with or without accrual).
If the bond is only in one person's name then that person can dip into the access bond without the other partner being aware of it or approving.
New quad bike, jet ski, aircraft, R50,000 golf clubs, etc.

2.
With a joint bond both parties need to sign the documents for a re-advance or re-financing of a bond and if required an affordability study is done on the joint income and household expenses.
Click to expand...
My premise was that they are married in COP.

Its just a waste of money to have to pay transfer fees to add your spouse's name as the property would be his/hers when you die anyway.

i'm in the above situation because I bought my house before we got married so its in my name only.
 
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