GreGorGy
BULLSFAN
I disagree - I think it is a great idea. Acid - do precisely that. For the next month (30 days) and tell us how it goes, what happens, who calls, who doesn't.
At least that way you get another 30 days perspective...
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I disagree - I think it is a great idea. Acid - do precisely that. For the next month (30 days) and tell us how it goes, what happens, who calls, who doesn't.
At least that way you get another 30 days perspective...
blunomore
Honorary Master
Of course it is not the same. The relationhip between a father and daughter is pivotal, much more so than most others she will have in her life.
D3nz
Honorary Master
GreGorGy
BULLSFAN
Do you "ladies" mind taking your pain argument into a separate thread - this is about Acid, not your respective relatives. While I am sure you both feel tremendous pain - as do I and many others for our losses - this thread is not a suitable place, don't you think?
blunomore
Honorary Master
it is a well established fact that this relationship (or lack thereof) determines to a large extent a woman's attitude towards and realtionships with men in her adult life, her self confidence, etc.
blunomore
Honorary Master
Acid made it pretty clear that he does not want to discuss it any further.
D3nz
Honorary Master
Which is why I said I didn't want to go back to this. If you'd read back a few pages, you'll see I tried to make Acid aware of how his sister might feel. I have no idea how Blu's pain got into it.
D3nz
Honorary Master
Actually he did spend some time during the weekend responding...maybe someone will be able to get through to him
blunomore
Honorary Master
Not easy to understand, I am sure.
guest2013-1
guest
- Joined
- Aug 22, 2003
- Messages
- 19,800
- Reaction score
- 13
forget about any relationships at the moment
I don't know how to be happy. Period. I don't know what makes me happy. I've gone the "get help" route. I've done the "meet new people" route (hell, even moved to a new place WITH "like minded" people back when I was still in JHB). I've done the medication. 3 times.
Still, forget what you know or what you think the cause of my depression is for now, forget about relationships, how my actions will make others feel or the arb advice about taking a look at how **** others have it to somehow make me feel better/superior to them and realize I have something to live for.
This isn't sudden. This isn't an overnight "omg someone broke my poor little heart now I want to die" feeling. I've been there, done that, worked through several relationships. So like I said, you can't blame a one drop of water for a tsunami. It's a myriad of things which I think just culminated.
I wouldn't say I have a strong will, but I think it's come to the breaking point.
I didn't drink over the weekend. My tequila is still in the fridge. I played a bit of Diablo 3 and watched movies. I couldn't do much else (I work, or try to, for extra cash after hours. Can't get myself to work after hours but I have nothing else I can do but watch series etc. BTW, bought myself a set of pots on Friday)
Still didn't make any kind of difference. Nobody can tell me how to be happy. No drug can do it for me, and I have tried more things that I can think of that I listed in this post.
I actually read something interesting over the weekend while looking at electroconvulsive therapy. They say that depression is caused by an over-active brain which kind of "shorts" out and make weird neural connections that causes the depression. ECT for some reason helps, but they found that drugs help as well and don't really know why.
This reminded me of another study I read about a few years back saying that people with "genius" IQ levels are usually a lot more susceptible to go insane or suffer some sort of mental illness (depression included). Not saying I'm a genius
just saying what I read.
I've always felt I couldn't switch off sufficiently. I've been accused in overthinking things. I find it weird that others don't think of the same things. And in a way it helps my career a lot, because I think of things others can't/didn't think of in the first place.
Anyway. Skydiving, really wanna try that before I die
I don't know how to be happy. Period. I don't know what makes me happy. I've gone the "get help" route. I've done the "meet new people" route (hell, even moved to a new place WITH "like minded" people back when I was still in JHB). I've done the medication. 3 times.
Still, forget what you know or what you think the cause of my depression is for now, forget about relationships, how my actions will make others feel or the arb advice about taking a look at how **** others have it to somehow make me feel better/superior to them and realize I have something to live for.
This isn't sudden. This isn't an overnight "omg someone broke my poor little heart now I want to die" feeling. I've been there, done that, worked through several relationships. So like I said, you can't blame a one drop of water for a tsunami. It's a myriad of things which I think just culminated.
I wouldn't say I have a strong will, but I think it's come to the breaking point.
I didn't drink over the weekend. My tequila is still in the fridge. I played a bit of Diablo 3 and watched movies. I couldn't do much else (I work, or try to, for extra cash after hours. Can't get myself to work after hours but I have nothing else I can do but watch series etc. BTW, bought myself a set of pots on Friday)
Still didn't make any kind of difference. Nobody can tell me how to be happy. No drug can do it for me, and I have tried more things that I can think of that I listed in this post.
I actually read something interesting over the weekend while looking at electroconvulsive therapy. They say that depression is caused by an over-active brain which kind of "shorts" out and make weird neural connections that causes the depression. ECT for some reason helps, but they found that drugs help as well and don't really know why.
This reminded me of another study I read about a few years back saying that people with "genius" IQ levels are usually a lot more susceptible to go insane or suffer some sort of mental illness (depression included). Not saying I'm a genius
just saying what I read.I've always felt I couldn't switch off sufficiently. I've been accused in overthinking things. I find it weird that others don't think of the same things. And in a way it helps my career a lot, because I think of things others can't/didn't think of in the first place.
Anyway. Skydiving, really wanna try that before I die
blunomore
Honorary Master
forget about any relationships at the moment
I don't know how to be happy. Period. I don't know what makes me happy. I've gone the "get help" route. I've done the "meet new people" route (hell, even moved to a new place WITH "like minded" people back when I was still in JHB). I've done the medication. 3 times.
Still, forget what you know or what you think the cause of my depression is for now, forget about relationships, how my actions will make others feel or the arb advice about taking a look at how **** others have it to somehow make me feel better/superior to them and realize I have something to live for.
This isn't sudden. This isn't an overnight "omg someone broke my poor little heart now I want to die" feeling. I've been there, done that, worked through several relationships. So like I said, you can't blame a one drop of water for a tsunami. It's a myriad of things which I think just culminated.
I wouldn't say I have a strong will, but I think it's come to the breaking point.
I didn't drink over the weekend. My tequila is still in the fridge. I played a bit of Diablo 3 and watched movies. I couldn't do much else (I work, or try to, for extra cash after hours. Can't get myself to work after hours but I have nothing else I can do but watch series etc. BTW, bought myself a set of pots on Friday)
Still didn't make any kind of difference. Nobody can tell me how to be happy. No drug can do it for me, and I have tried more things that I can think of that I listed in this post.
I actually read something interesting over the weekend while looking at electroconvulsive therapy. They say that depression is caused by an over-active brain which kind of "shorts" out and make weird neural connections that causes the depression. ECT for some reason helps, but they found that drugs help as well and don't really know why.
This reminded me of another study I read about a few years back saying that people with "genius" IQ levels are usually a lot more susceptible to go insane or suffer some sort of mental illness (depression included). Not saying I'm a genius
I've always felt I couldn't switch off sufficiently. I've been accused in overthinking things. I find it weird that others don't think of the same things. And in a way it helps my career a lot, because I think of things others can't/didn't think of in the first place.
Anyway. Skydiving, really wanna try that before I die
The obvious starting point is to check your own definition of happiness.
If by 'happy' , you mean train your mind not to dwell in the past or the future, but to live in the here and now, then yes, IMO.
guest2013-1
guest
- Joined
- Aug 22, 2003
- Messages
- 19,800
- Reaction score
- 13
Maybe being happy isn't your thing?
since when is happiness a reason to live?screw happiness, look for fulfillment
Naw, not feeling like I currently do is kind of what I want/need. I think the definition blu was talking about is simple to me. THE OPPOSITE OF HOW I FEEL NOW.
Fulfilment is just... nothing to me. I love my job. I love my co-workers. It's just perfect atm. I'm in a stable place where I don't owe too much in terms of debt, I have my own place, my own car yadayada. I basically hit the reset button in the beginning of the year like I said I would, and even though it took me a couple of months more than I thought it would take initially (ah the optimist in me), I got there.
Does it make me happy? No. Am I fulfilled? Yes. Can there be more? Sure. The things I set out to do I normally achieve. It's not hard for me not to do that.
There is just nothing, up till now, that has made me happy when I achieved/did it.
For example, a few years ago my ex back then said she'd try again and wanted me but because she was going to Dubai she didn't want to be held back etc. I believed her and said I'd try go there too. Stupid I know, but I achieved what I set out to do, got free plane tickets/visa/place to stay/car etc. Company paid for everything. In the back of my mind I knew she'd just flip again and not want to go ahead with trying. But that was okay, I was making a new start. The "overseas" thing I always wanted to do. Yet, there I was again, doing it alone.
I achieved ALL of that (and the salary wasn't bad, was R40k tax free, 55k on a "good" ZAR exchange rate day), but then it all spiralled back to what it was again, only in a different country.
So I decided I'd go back to Cape Town, start my own consultancy business from home since a lot of previous employers and some of their clients wanted me to consult for them still. So I did it. With the help of a fellow forumite I was able to supplement that income with some of my own efforts to keep me running during the quiet periods. And so, it all ended (as you guys know and joked about)
To me any challenge is easy. All it takes is determination, a plan and a desire to accomplish. Being fulfilled by that? (or volunteering at church bake sales or whatever)... nope. That "happy meter" doesn't budge.
The challenge to be happy will be easy if there was a plan. There is no plan because I don't know what makes me happy (and the stuff that does is out of my control, can't be manipulated by any sort of plan to achieve it no matter how much patience/determination I have)
I know I sound like an arrogant ******* by saying anything I set out to achieve I do and it's easy. It takes time, it doesn't come easy, but for all of that I always had a plan. There was always a tangible way to achieve what I set out to want to achieve.
Currently I'm just living day to day. I'm trying to switch off my mind but I can't. The dam walls are cracking under the pressure of what I am thinking about. There is no way to avert it, it will happen. I just hope I have a plan in place for when it does so the impact on others is minimal if not non-existent.
Nanfeishen
Executive Member
@Op in your own words:
13-09-2008
16-02-2009
19-03-2012
30-04-2012
02-07-2012
10-08-2012
13-08-2012
14-08-2012
14-08-2012
You are way stronger and better than you give yourself credit for.
Stop trying to make sense of life, it will drive you nuts
G/luck
13-09-2008
16-02-2009
19-03-2012
30-04-2012
02-07-2012
10-08-2012
13-08-2012
14-08-2012
14-08-2012
You are way stronger and better than you give yourself credit for.
Stop trying to make sense of life, it will drive you nuts
G/luck
Azbubu
Honorary Master
blunomore
Honorary Master
@Op in your own words:
13-09-2008
16-02-2009
19-03-2012
30-04-2012
02-07-2012
10-08-2012
13-08-2012
14-08-2012
14-08-2012
You are way stronger and better than you give yourself credit for.
Stop trying to make sense of life, it will drive you nuts
G/luck
Wow, you did a lot of research.
I.am.Sam
Honorary Master
was thinking we have serious stalker here
blu ..please learn the snip function
blunomore
Honorary Master
I will quote as I see fit.
Azbubu
Honorary Master
Tell him, Blu! Who is he to dictate how you should post!
I.am.Sam
Honorary Master
Oy after 50k posts she should know better
cause dates make no sense in her post