Advice please

S

snail112

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This girl I like does not seem to be interested or is playing hard to get. Wish I knew which one of the two it is.

We had coffee one Saturday, chatted a bit and went our separate ways afterwards.

I asked her out on a few occasions, coffee, a movie, but each time she had something to do and will get back to me. And I am still waiting for an answer.

I don't know what to do. We know each other for 10 yrs and we are working together again (complicated story). I just want to know more about her to see if it could go somewhere or not; but she is "busy", and cannot go for coffee or a movie.

I am not really into dating someone I work with, but who knows, maybe she's the one.

During the day we talk, tease each other - have normal conversation. Maybe she's flirting her ass off, and I don't get the message.

Some advice please?

And I don't want to get into her pants at this stage.
 
so my chances are 50-50, either she say yes or take a hike - colleges/ work friends only?
 
Guy.. one word: NO... as in... stop flirting and oogling with her at work. pretend youre busy. chat to other females. "carry on". If she likes you, you will soon see her trying to grab your attention. if not, find another to strategically ignore.
 
I gotta say, like it or not: Obsessing over someone for extended periods of time is not healthy.

In my personal experience, if it's a long-term relationship you are hoping for; She is NOT THE ONE.
If the feeling and intent of your interactions are not mutual, then you will not get anywhere.

Even if by some magic you do finally "convince" her to "give it a chance"... won't last very long AT ALL.
If her intentions were for a intimate long-term relationship, you would not have to guess and fight her schedule all the time.

My advice, in short: Move on. Forget about it. What's meant to be, will eventually be.
 
I think the 'busy' signal is usually indicative that she's not really interested. At work, we're more or less captive audiences, and feel obliged to 'play nice' to keep the work environment stable.

Ultimately you have 2 approaches:
Tell her how you feel and what you are looking for. These frank statements may help her make a decision. Its possible she does not know how to communicate her feelings, or holds back from these comments because of prior history.

Or you can turn off her and give your attention to someone else. However, I must point out, doing this in an effort to make her come crawling to you, while immensely satisfying on an egotistical (or egotesticle ;) ) level, is a little passive aggressive, and may also look manipulating. This is guaranteed to NOT earn you brownie points.

If, however, your intention is NOT to make her come crawling, you'll find moving on will eventually lead you to this 'one' your'e looking for.

Good luck :)
 
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Hmmm, you are attempting to move out of the 'friendzone' after 10 years...?

Either way, you have one option, tell her what you thinking...

Besides, what if she's a serial killer, and really is 'busy'
 
She's trying to friend-zone you. Stop giving a crap about her and chase other tail. That should make her decide and she'll let you know.
 
snail112 said:
This girl I like does not seem to be interested or is playing hard to get. Wish I knew which one of the two it is.

We had coffee one Saturday, chatted a bit and went our separate ways afterwards.

I asked her out on a few occasions, coffee, a movie, but each time she had something to do and will get back to me. And I am still waiting for an answer.

I don't know what to do. We know each other for 10 yrs and we are working together again (complicated story). I just want to know more about her to see if it could go somewhere or not; but she is "busy", and cannot go for coffee or a movie.

I am not really into dating someone I work with, but who knows, maybe she's the one.

During the day we talk, tease each other - have normal conversation. Maybe she's flirting her ass off, and I don't get the message.

Some advice please?

And I don't want to get into her pants at this stage.
Click to expand...

She probably thinks you're nice which is not a good thing. You're still in with a chance but you'd have to change your approach pretty drastically. In fact you'd have to change a whole lot.
 
Personally sounds like she is not interested.

Been there done that got shot down.

Just gotta deal with it and move on.
 
snail112 said:
OK, I want to get into her pants, but I want to do it when the time is right.
Click to expand...
Of course you have to do it when the time is right, unless you want to be done in for rape :D

Anyway do what the others said - man up and put your cards on the table. Flirting and playing mind games is what kids do (no offence to her). The sooner you know where you stand, the sooner you can either move on or make your move.
 
Mike Hoxbig said:
Of course you have to do it when the time is right, unless you want to be done in for rape :D

Anyway do what the others said - man up and put your cards on the table. Flirting and playing mind games is what kids do (no offence to her). The sooner you know where you stand, the sooner you can either move on or make your move.
Click to expand...

:D Was going to say the time is right when she let's you.
 
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