Advice please

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snail112

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My best friend from high school decided to "opt out" and took his own life Saturday morning.
(This sounds maybe a bit harsh, but I don't know the circumstances and all the details. I don't want to upset the family further with 20 Questions.)

He and his whole family move to Cape Town 5 to 6 years ago and we did not see each other much since after school. Fortunately he was not married, but there is still his parents and brothers.

What would be the best thing: send a card or flowers?
 
Show up for the funeral. It'll be the best way to show how you feel and that he meant something to you.

Might be difficult and last minute and you're probably going to have to pony up some cash. But if it was one of my best friends I'd do it. A card/flowers won't say enough IMO
 
Agreed GTFO and go pay last repects. Now or later isnt the time to ask questions about this either ,enjoy the memory you have of this friend,the good s#it, dont spoil it with crap and dont try and remember him in his darkest hour.
 
Let the family know you are there to help with anything they need, dont bother them further than that.
Have a few beers, cry about it and go to the funeral.
 
And DON'T discuss this very personal issue on public forums ! ! ! Someone in here might figure out who is who and if the family hears that, they might get upset! WTF I will . . .
 
I was in the same situation last year. Oldest and closest childhood friend killed himself. We also lived in different cities. I really didn't want to go but I paid for the flights and went to the funeral and wake. In hindsight it was the best thing.

If you really can't make it or if it's too late then you need to call his parents and talk to them. It's tough and it sucks but you have to do it. The call will be about 60 seconds max. Just say you're sorry and share their pain and offer you help if they need it (99% chance they wont need anything). Flowers and cards are a waste. Their house will be full of them. Also make sure you call them on his birthday next year. They'll need to know he's not forgotten.
 
Thank you for all the advice. I have decided what I am going to do next.

Mods can close please.
 
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