An Outraged Letter About Myself

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LoneGunman

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I'm giving a talk today at a US university. Yeah they're paying me. But naturally, being a weirdo, I decided to protest and complain about myself. Why should the President of Iran get all the good PR, after all? And longtime forumites know that I do have a certain cheerful trouble-making side :)

Here's the text of the letter sent to the campus student newspaper. (Picture a Grandpa Simpson type of voice)..

'To Whom it May Concern'
"I wish to complain about being invited to do a talk on Tuesday, on Apartheid and theater-writing. (place and time removed)
After all, just because I've won theater awards in South Africa, and faced up against that country's racist regime - is no reason to allow me to spew forth the filth that I'm probably going to.

I am outraged that the authorities will allow someone like me, on campus, to spread a probably perverse message of anarchism, disrespect, and creativity - and thereby interfere with the real job of US universities, namely conformist pseudo-edjimikation, hooking the unwary into credit card debt, toga parties, and scrabble tile-eating.

If this talk won't be stopped, which means I'll have to actually show up - I will be forced
to take matters into my own hands, and mount a one-person protest against myself. Not only do I have no idea of what I'm going to talk about, despite the official subject title - I am utterly angered and horrified at the idea that someone like me could be assumed to have anything of value whatsoever to say to students interested in Theater, repression, or Apartheid South Africa.

How dare the University allow someone like me on campus! For shame!!!

yours sincerely

An outraged and appalled xxxx

========

Naturally I let the professor who invited me to talk, know about it.. their response?

"You're kidding, right?"

I guess they didn't realize what kind of a cheerful weirdo I am. We'll see what happens..
:)
 
Good luck LG. Repression should be an easy enough subject to speak on!
 
:D classic theatre

the fsckers will no doubt rue the day they let you in
 
Those poor huskies will never know what hit them.
 
re rueing the day, I hope so :)

To start with, I've recorded a minute and a half of jabbering angst onto audio cd (supposedly my 'internal thoughts') - and thats gonna play while I just sit there and look at them nervously..
anything to fill up the 20 minute time slot ahead of the good stuff, namely the Q&A, which could be fun (some of my plays are being studied, so they should have some interesting questions) "Where did this play idea come from?" "I was stoned and watching an early Cheech and Chong comedy routine, and..." "Where did this other play idea come from?" "I was tripping on acid in Cape Town, watching lifts go up and down the outside of a building.." etc etc :)
 
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re self indulgent, thats EXACTLY what I think as well - and which I'll be mentioning in the talk. The only reason I'm bothering to do it is, is to give folks an alt view to the traditional ANC-supporting party line kind of view of SA, which is pretty much all that gets out to folks outside of SA.
They almost never get 'real' people, who can talk about where they got laid, high or teargassed during apartheid.. Folks almost always get just the 'official' view of both the struggle history, as well as the glorious pro-tourism view of modern SA.
Whereas I come from a different angle entirely.

re my 'meal ticket' - er no. I have two plays which are being staged next year by one university, a couple of other Universities use my plays for teaching drama and script-writing, I've just had another new play published, and another play has just won a UK play competition and will be getting a London staging next year, and one of my film scripts reached quarter finals in a fairly heavyweight US screenplay competition. Also got myself a West Coast agent for voice overs for movie trailers.
So talking some crap at a university and giving my take on SA, is hardly a 'meal ticket' - I work for my food, and actually write for a living. The talking thing is something on the side :P
 
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LoneGunman said:
re self indulgent, thats EXACTLY what I think as well - and which I'll be mentioning in the talk. The only reason I'm bothering to do it is, is to give folks an alt view to the traditional ANC-supporting party line kind of view of SA, which is pretty much all that gets out to folks outside of SA.
They almost never get 'real' people, who can talk about where they got laid, high or teargassed during apartheid.. Folks almost always get just the 'official' view of both the struggle history, as well as the glorious pro-tourism view of modern SA.
Whereas I come from a different angle entirely.

re my 'meal ticket' - er no. I have two plays which are being staged next year by one university, I've just had another new play published, another play has just won a UK play competition and will be getting a London staging next year, and one of my film scripts reached quarter finals in a fairly heavyweight screenplay competition. So talking some crap at a university is hardly a 'meal ticket' - I work for my food, and actually write for a living. The talking thing is something on the side :P
Click to expand...

Wow, none of those things happened to me during apartheid :p
 
Ye, I was 15 in '94... still a good couple of years before getting high, and another coupla years before getting laid :(

I've still to be teargassed.
 
I am sure in time you will sort out those Yanks for us LG. :D

You did such a marvelous job here in South Africa before you ventured off to the shaded green pasture behind the White House.
I wish you well in your quest. It will not be an easy job getting through all that blubberish outer shell that makes up an average Yank.
Sock it to them LG.
While you are about it please ask the Yanks to explain to us plebs how to play their football. Is it Tut Tut or Hut Hut. :D
 
LOL I hope no one asks if you supported or voted for the ANC :o


:D
 
Whatever happens I hope someone learns something :D ... wish I'd had a few lectures like that.
 
Give it to my homeland LG! Which college...er University are you jaking with?

Teargas - it hurts really bad. Wouldn't recommend it. ;)
 
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