Another emo thread... Advice, please...

Lycanthrope said:
Tell her you're a low-life with no integrity and that you've been seeing someone on the side. She'll be better for it and will eventually find someone with a pair of balls.
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Probably exactly what she'd want to hear :D :p
 
thesadguy said:
Once again, not looking for WHAT to do... That has been decided... Looking for the best way to do it, without hurting her.

"Hey, sorry, I changed my mind" doesn't quite work.

@ McT:
Thanks for the advice.
I agree with you; it could be a recipe for disaster... Food for thought, certainly; hadn't considered that.
And about words being not as important as the sincerity... Fair enough. But maybe it's possible to get both?
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the bottom line is that it needs to be addressed today/tonight
 
thesadguy said:
Once again, not looking for WHAT to do... That has been decided... Looking for the best way to do it, without hurting her.
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Not possible... if a breakup is going to hurt her then there's not much you can do. Best thing is to get it over with so everyone can move on.
 
My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 7 years. As per usual, things were great in the beginning, and slowly declined. For the last 2 years, looking back, things have been horrible. We're both far too busy for each other.

About a month back, I started making plans to end it. I have been looking for the best way to word it. During my quest for words, I have met someone and we have really hit it off. The new girl knows the complete situation (she knew it before we even hit it off).
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Sorry, it's just funny how the first one started well, and now you say your new side relationship is starting well. Come clear, all humans have made mistakes big or small, you'll only pile up anger/fear/anxiety if you hide it.
 
thesadguy said:
Oh, and she has cheated on me; I have never cheated on her.
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And yet she still chose you for any number of reasons (you have memories together, you've made mistakes together, insert whatever sentimental nonsense here). I don't know. You also supposedly gave her another chance when you didn't walk out and yet now you feel the need to change your mind. I just find it petty--why even bother in the first place?

You want an easy way to get out, hopefully by not hurting her feelings--it doesn't work like that. If she loves you, it will hurt. If she chose you over someone else, it will hurt. If you're not prepared to make the relationship work TOGETHER (therapy or whatever the hell else it takes) before giving up, it will hurt.

There is only one way out and that is to say, "Sorry, I don't want to be with you any more."

Don't procrastinate and hope for a quick fix, there isn't one--you have made your decision now stop dragging it out like a coward.
 
Oh wait...there is a much easier way. Dont say anything. What she doesnt know wont hurt her. I assume u stil have both hands, so start juggling and share the man downstairs amongst them. I promise u, u'l definately enjoy the ride...up until your 7year-lady finds out, knocks your head off with a frying pan, calls her brother to come sort you out and you end up with a couple of broken ribs and missing teeth(trust me, I'm talkin from experience)... Hey, I said it was an easy way to take, not that it will end well. Lol! Tell her the truth, NOW, before things get worse bro. There is no best way to do it, just let it out as it is. Good luck.
 
thesadguy said:
Once again, not looking for WHAT to do... That has been decided... Looking for the best way to do it, without hurting her.
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Be honest & direct, simple as that. Beating around the bush helps nobody.
 
listen, be a bastard. dump her, sure - leave the bitch like a dry turd on the garden while the dogs continue to crap. no issues. take your time about it too. the more crap lying around in your garden, the more you will realise it's time to clean up. Don't feel bad - the heart wants what it wants and has no space for that which has worn out its welcome. Seriously - don't feel bad or guilty. Use the line "It's not me - I am great - it's you. I don't like you. I still like me quite a lot" - it'll be over before you know it. Quick and easy - like a plaster. And what sam7606 said
 
GreGorGy said:
listen, be a bastard. dump her, sure - leave the bitch like a dry turd on the garden while the dogs continue to crap. no issues. take your time about it too. the more crap lying around in your garden, the more you will realise it's time to clean up. Don't feel bad - the heart wants what it wants and has no space for that which has worn out its welcome. Seriously - don't feel bad or guilty. Use the line "It's not me - I am great - it's you. I don't like you. I still like me quite a lot" - it'll be over before you know it. Quick and easy - like a plaster. And what sam7606 said
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Being vindictive & nasty serves no purpose. All he has to do is be honest.
 
Lycanthrope said:
And yet she still chose you for any number of reasons
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Why do girls always say this? :/

'Yes, I may have cheated on you with Scott and Steven ... and Brad ... and Andre ... and Jeff ... and the other Andre ... and Michael ... and Graeme ... but I chose to be with you. Can't you see this?'
 
OP, maybe she already realises that you are a tool, and wont be hurt at all. In fact, she is probably thinking of ways to break up with you.

If not, break up with her then show her this thread, it will surely help her realise the kind of person you are and limit the damage she suffers
 
@thesadguy.Does your old gf know that things have deteriorated between the 2 of you or are you only looking at it from your own perspective.
If she knew you have an alibi.Its imperative that you make her understand how obsolete the relationship was and that you needed to move on.
But 7 years dude.Man,she's gonna be broken.
 
I say break it up - but try to get a three-way out of it first.
 
7 Years is a long time.
Good luck with whatever decision you make.
For your own sake, I hope the new girl doesnt dump your a$$ a few months down the line.
 
Viper25 said:
For your own sake, I hope the new girl doesnt dump your a$$ a few months down the line.
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But he's not breaking up because of the new girl?

I had something similar where things just started sliding with an ex of 4 years - and figured we should rather end it. I had been chatting to the 'new' girl and we got together a few week later, but she was never the reason. The break up would've happened regardless - which I understand is the case here.
 
thesadguy said:
Have not cheated. Don't plan to.

Looking back, things have been horrible. At the time, it seemed bearable. We worked through issues. Or so we thought.

Again, met new girl AFTER deciding to break things off.
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you guys are so insensitive, it's not his fault people grow apart :)

don't feel bad dude, you can tell her that you've felt this way for awhile, and i don't know if you can be friends after this or not but you should tell her while you were deciding this you met someone else. depending on how much you trust each other she might feel that you're using it as an excuse or that it's so unbelievable that it must be true :)
 
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