Another pathetic guy-likes-girl thread

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Maddmatt

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If you don't like this sort of thing you will want to leave this thread immediately :p

It's been bugging me for a long time and I've kept quiet about it to friends.

There's this girl I like (see it's a cliché already!). I've known her for a few years, we meet up once in a while to hang out as friends (yes, friend zone, I know).
I really like her, I can't help it. Meeting other girls doesn't get her out of my head.

I really want to find out if I have a chance, even though I doubt it. But what makes it extra complicated is that she has a boyfriend who she has been with for months. And I'm leaving the country in a few months (which may or may not be permanent).

I've never had a girl stay in my head like this, at least not for more than a few weeks. Trying to ignore it and forget about her hasn't worked.
Is there a decent way to handle this besides trying to move on? I worry that I'll look like a fool if I say something. Even if she's not interested, getting an answer would help me move on.

Maybe she's figured out that I like her anyway, wouldn't surprise me.
 
She's with another dude, that pretty much means she's probably not interested in you, unless she waited to long for your move and you blew it. Move on man
 
you sound rather young as you clearly haven't come to the age where you realize life is short, and if you don't "sieze the day", you never will. You'll wake up one day at 60 with a pension plan still asking "what if" on public forums.

Grow some nuts guy, and talk to her about it, as in like very maturely. "man to man"... girls like a guy that "takes charge". But by the sounds of this post, she already knows you as a fumbler, hence the reason she has'nt fallen over herself to ask YOU the same question. So maybe focus on the fundamentals first. Are you, objectively and in all honesty, up to her standard? And if not... what can you do to be this. Getting the right girl (you RRRREALLY want) takes hard work, and sometimes a few changes in your day to day demeanor.
 
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2 problems, she is with another dude, and you are leaving the country shortly.

move on don't make things complicated.
 
don't mess with another man's relationship dude....thats just asking for trouble......let it be Son
 
She's always been with another guy. Never stayed single for long in the few years I've known her.
Yea in the past that's been my main excuse for not saying anything, but now I'm not so sure that it really is an excuse. There's no telling how strong someone's relationship is. If it is meant to be then she wont leave him for me anyway. If she does, then it wasn't meant to be.

I've been trying to stay out of it because to me it seemed the 'right' thing to do but I'm not going to properly move on like that.

I'm trying to decide if saying nothing and having this in my head for ages is better or worse than the consequences of saying something. I can't just wait for something to happen because I don't have much time left.

As for leaving the country. Well I'd come back if I had a reason to. Would just mean things are long distance for a bit. I'm going there to finish the last 6 months of my degree and might come back on a holiday in the middle of it.

The advice is appreciated :)
 
There is not much hope for you and her I'm afraid. I know from experience in the last few weeks. I am the bf though and my gf has an old friend who suddenly went crazy over her when I came into the picture a few months ago. Sending her flowers, calling/smsing her late at night...even going to her place at 4am to try and woo her over to his side. It reached a point where she just cut him off completely. Now he doesn't want to even go out anywhere as he is afraid of bumping into me and her. He is not the only one. My gf has a lot of guy friends who are always pushing their luck. One by one they are getting the idea though, not to mess with our relationship.
 
Nothing ventured nothing gained.Ask her out for lunch.You will soon find out.She may be waiting for you.
 
I agree, very little hope that things will work out the way you want.

However, the worst part about a situation like this is not knowing and the "what if"s. Trust me, regrets can eat away at your peace of mind.

I'd suggest telling her, so that even if she rejects you, you can at least be at peace with yourself, knowing you did everything in your power to win her... but be prepared for the friendship to become awkward. It might survive, though, if it's important enough to you both.

If it doesn't work out, it will also be much easier to get over her if you are far away and have no contact for a while.
 
SaiyanZ said:
There is not much hope for you and her I'm afraid. I know from experience in the last few weeks. I am the bf though and my gf has an old friend who suddenly went crazy over her when I came into the picture a few months ago...
Click to expand...

I know there isn't much hope, I'm not kidding myself :)
But holy crap man I would never be like that dude who wants your girlfriend. That's just crazy desperate, I don't do s**t like that. I'd rather be straight with her and get a straight answer.
The closest to that I ever came was asking a girl out 3 times because she was good at making convincing excuses instead of saying no (see my last girl-related thread :o )

I guess what I want is a way to tell her and get an answer without it being awkward, but I guess I can't escape a bit of awkwardness.

Can't call her to say it, I almost never do phone calls (prefer IM/SMS). I'd get too nervous, funnily enough I'd probably have an easier time saying it in person. But for that I need to get a one-on-one situation which is very difficult to plan...
This is one girl that can actually make me nervous, not sure I'd even be able to make myself say it in person :o

SMS feels like such a lame way to handle this but it's probably the best I can manage.
Sending flowers and trying to 'woo' her, that s**t just makes one look pathetic like the guy SaiyanZ is talking about. That would ruin my image :p

A female opinion would be interesting.
 
Lupus said:
She's with another dude, that pretty much means she's probably not interested in you, unless she waited to long for your move and you blew it. Move on man
Click to expand...

I don't see no ring on that finger!
 
How long ago was that other girl thread you created?

I seem to recall seeing it - so it was recent. And now there's this girl ... How sure are you its not lust? Infactuation? Desperation?
 
As you said it will bother you if you don't discuss this with that girl so it is better you finish it up with her in a gentle way, and if she does not love you then just think there is something better waiting for you and move forward, since that does not mean life is finish, take it as a good experience.
 
Dolby said:
How long ago was that other girl thread you created?

I seem to recall seeing it - so it was recent. And now there's this girl ... How sure are you its not lust? Infactuation? Desperation?
Click to expand...

This girl has been around much longer than the other one I started a thread about. The other one I wouldn't give a damn about in a situation like this.

Sent from my GT-I9000 using MyBroadband Android App
 
Lupus said:
She's with another dude, that pretty much means she's probably not interested in you, unless she waited to long for your move and you blew it. Move on man
Click to expand...

You sure you're talking about a woman right? Women are notorious for being with a guy for the sake of being with someone. He probably missed his window of opportunity a lot of times and she got tired of being single so she moved on to the next "Mr Right Now"

@Matt:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtb7f_lcvkQ&feature=feedu
 
Friendship..............................Relationship
Ladder....................................Ladder
H................................................H
H................................................H
H................................................H
H <---- you are here......................H
H................................................H
H................................................H
H................................................H
H................................................H <--- you'll never get here
H................................................H
--- <ETERNAL ABYSS GOES HERE> ---

Take some advice, don't try and make the jump...you'll never make it.

References: http://www.laddertheory.com/

Also, Chicks are car guards.™
 
Voicy said:
Friendship..............................Relationship
Ladder....................................Ladder
H................................................H
H................................................H
H................................................H
H <---- you are here......................H
H................................................H
H................................................H
H................................................H
H................................................H <--- you'll never get here
H................................................H
--- <ETERNAL ABYSS GOES HERE> ---

Take some advice, don't try and make the jump...you'll never make it.

References: http://www.laddertheory.com/

Also, Chicks are car guards.™
Click to expand...

Quoted For motherfuc*ing Truth. Ladder Theory is possibly the most cynical thing I've ever found regarding relationships, but it's also the most truthful.
 
Voicy said:
Also, Chicks are car guards.™
Click to expand...

I dont get this? You've said this alot of times..but can you explain your reasoning?

@Matt - No advice dude, I think you waited to long. Cause now if you go for "coffee" and you bring this up she'll be like WTF where did that come from... You say though that its hard to arrange a one on one meeting with her. So how do you normally see her socially? This could be a clue into the nature of the friendship.
 
Dolby said:
How long ago was that other girl thread you created?

I seem to recall seeing it - so it was recent. And now there's this girl ... How sure are you its not lust? Infactuation? Desperation?
Click to expand...

Sounds more like desperation. Why wait until you about to leave the country.
 
I have a rule.
Never fukk with another guys girl.
It will never end well...EVER.

And besides if she does dump the other dude for you...trust me she aint worth keeping!
 
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