Anyone who has a stepfather?

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Fuma

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How is your relationship with your stepfather?
Would you say he is a "better father" than your biological one?

I have a son and at some stage he might have a stepfather and I'm curious if he will see me as just a sperm donor or will I have good relationship with him.
I must admit that I'm a little scared of the fact he might resent me, if his mother has her way. Long story.
 
Short story - You can not influence the way his mom will indoctrinate him and the way you interact with him will determine what he sees in you
 
Fuma said:
I must admit that I'm a little scared of the fact he might resent me, if his mother has her way. Long story.
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My husband has kids from his previous marriage and his ex-wife used her best insidious little methods to indoctrinate their kids to NOT have a good relationship with him, except of course when the issue of money is at stake. In that regard she taught them well .... ;)
 
My stepfather has been more of a father to me than my real dad - not because my real dad was a ****, but because my mother made both their lives so miserable that he (real dad) decided to step away rather than have his kids caught in the cross fire (my mother used to do things like give me fish to hide under his car seat so that it would rot and foul his car while he had visitation weekends).

When I was a bit older I sought him out and we now have a very pleasant relationship despite not seeing one another for 15yrs or so. It took a while for my mom to come round to the idea that I am in contact with him, but she accepts it now, as does my stepdad.

Moral of my story is that even if things DO go south for a while, your kid will grow up and make his own choices and evaluations of the situation. Also, stepdads aren't all bad. Mine cares for me as if he I were his own flesh&blood.
 
Your relationship with your son will depend on you.
 
I recently became a step-father. Its no easy task, if the man who will become his step-father has any decency as a human being. He will not try and force his way in as your sons father, and will make sure its known that you will always be his father and that he is not a replacement.

As amazing a relationship as I have with my step-son, I always make sure he speaks to, visits, and sees his real father regularly.
 
I have a step-dad. My relationship with him will never be comparable to the relationship I have with my dad, but we get on well and love each other. If my step-dad was more like my biological one we'd probably be closer, so I guess it comes down to nothing more than who you are.
 
Freaksta said:
This is partly true, the other parent can screw that relationship up....
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I've had my dad and step-dad badmouthed (sometimes extensively) in front of me. It doesn't affect my relationship with them. If anything, it affects my relationship with the person doing the badmouthing.
 
Mr.Jax said:
^^ This. Period.

I have a step father and my relationship with him is way better, and it's no one's fault but my real father's.

/J
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Your mother didn't badmouth or try to stop your father from having a good relationship with you at all? Not saying your father is not at fault.
 
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The day I beat the ***** out of my former stepdad was the best day of my life. As long as his a decent bloke I don't think you have anything to worry about.
 
How old is the child? If I was anything older than 11 I would have given my stepfather hell.

Now that I am 20 if my parents split I'd be a little more mature and consider her feelings as well as his. But if the time comes these Jiu Jitsu lessons will pay off...
 
Fuma said:
Your mother didn't badmouth or try to stop your father from having a good relationship with you at all? Not saying your father is not at fault.
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On the contrary, my mother made sure that we saw him regularly (basically stayed over every second weekend without missing a beat for years and years).
I have a good relationship with my biological father (and stepmother), but it could be a lot better.

As long as the ex-wife does not interfere negatively, its in the hands of the biological father to make it work the way it should.
 
My biological dad is an idiot.

My steph dad and I almost killed each other the first year but it was because I had been the "man" of the house for almost 11 years and he wanted to be the final authority (a dad figure) to me.

We did sort out our issues and he is a much better parent then my biological dad :)
 
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