cheating and the reason behind it

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snail

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Ok, so the fiance and I were debating the issue of the reason why a guy cheats on his woman (nothing to do with us, but just another couple we know that is tying the knot soon).

Cut a long story short his fiance is good looking, yet he has still cheated on her, and yet she still wants to marry him but is concerned about him still cheating.

Now my argument is the following,
If your partner is hot, and she satisfys you, then there is no reason to cheat (not that there is any excuse for it).

Her reason,
Some guys are just addicted to sex regardless of who they with,

So I would like others to give their view as to why guys cheat on their woman.
 
I think guys just like doing things they know they not allowed to do / should not do... It could also be a hard wired thing where guys want more than one girl...

The thing about guys be addicted to sex is true, but same goes for girls... They just don't talk about it as much..
 
There is not much in nature to suggest that we are monogamous creatures. Many human beings find it difficult to make monogamous relationships work. In fact it is often far easier to find a monogamous relationship that doesn't work than it is to find one that does.

Also women cheat too. Why limit it to why men cheat?
 
crackersa said:
noticed that you only mention the looks part. maybe she doesn't satisfy his intellectual side.
Click to expand...

cheating is usually about lust.

Sometimes it is also a matter of getting tied up in a moment, where you dont see the full package. You just see a girl who you can have sex with, there is no issues, hassles, nagging insecurities etc etc
I think that appeals to people in the moment. I also think there is something about having sex with someone where you can be completely selfish and explore things that you otherwise would not do with your long term partner.

On very small occasions, you might do it because you really have found someone who you may be more compatible with.
But most of the time its just getting in the way, and the idea that something different might be better
 
snail said:
... and yet she still wants to marry him but is concerned about him still cheating.
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I'm willing to bet money he will carry on cheating, a leopard does not change it's spots.
 
There are as many reasons for cheating as there are people cheating.

Just a headsup : If he is willing on cheating on his fiance she should probably dump the dude.
 
A lot of people also tend to get bored or too comfortable with their current partner. They start to think they are under appreciated, maybe there is someone better etc. What they don't realise is that a new encounter will always be exciting, but that doesn't mean it will work out or its better.
 
RandomGRK said:
A lot of people also tend to get bored or too comfortable with their current partner. They start to think they are under appreciated, maybe there is someone better etc. What they don't realise is that a new encounter will always be exciting, but that doesn't mean it will work out or its better.
Click to expand...

Maybe it's a religious thing?
That biblical hero, King Solomon, had 700 wives and 300 concubines so he probably never got bored.

I actually think that many people stop trying when they get married and they take their partners for granted.
A term in common use today is "open marriage" but I don't know if SA men could handle the idea if the wives also wanted the side benefits.
 
porchrat said:
You got some studies to back this up?
Click to expand...

I was replying to the OP asking why we THINK people cheat. My apologies though, I will put IMO in front of everything I write just to be clear.
 
snail said:
Ok, so the fiance and I were debating the issue of the reason why a guy cheats on his woman (nothing to do with us, but just another couple we know that is tying the knot soon).

Cut a long story short his fiance is good looking, yet he has still cheated on her, and yet she still wants to marry him but is concerned about him still cheating.

Now my argument is the following,
If your partner is hot, and she satisfys you, then there is no reason to cheat (not that there is any excuse for it).

Her reason,
Some guys are just addicted to sex regardless of who they with,

So I would like others to give their view as to why guys cheat on their woman.
Click to expand...

There is actually an excuse and it's that we're human and we're not programmed to be monogamous . Also, if she satisfied you, you wouldn't be cheating. That may well be nothing to do with her, but that's life. If I'm into a woman I'm unlikely to cheat though.

And woman also cheat, possibly as much for all I know. From my experience mainly when husbands start acting as though they don't care. I interpret this to mean they're not seducing their woman enough anymore. Come to think of it, when I've cheated in the past it's because my woman wasn't making me feel attractive.

My theory is that, with the exception of people of both sexes that are just plain sluts, people cheat when they are not made to feel sexy by their partner.
 
snail said:
Ok, so the fiance and I were debating the issue of the reason why a guy cheats on his woman (nothing to do with us, but just another couple we know that is tying the knot soon).

Cut a long story short his fiance is good looking, yet he has still cheated on her, and yet she still wants to marry him but is concerned about him still cheating.

Now my argument is the following,
If your partner is hot, and she satisfys you, then there is no reason to cheat (not that there is any excuse for it).

Her reason,
Some guys are just addicted to sex regardless of who they with,

So I would like others to give their view as to why guys cheat on their woman.
Click to expand...

it's an emotional thing. if you're not getting what you need from your partner, you seek it somewhere else.

it's a little more complicated than that, but that sums it up. the real trick is how do you handle cheating?
 
Nick i would imagine women cheat more than men, they are good liars unlike us so they get caught less.
 
Everybody cheats, not just men. When I was younger I tended not to get involved in serious relationships - I needed variety, to see more than the same pair of boobs. Eventually you (well I at least) do get bored of it, and look to settle down.

There's probably little evidence for this, but I think that people who cheat are usually the ones who didn't have the chance to go wild and let it all out when they were younger (for whatever reason). Now they try and compensate for it at the first sign of hardship.
 
snail said:
Ok, so the fiance and I were debating the issue of the reason why a guy cheats on his woman (nothing to do with us, but just another couple we know that is tying the knot soon).

Cut a long story short his fiance is good looking, yet he has still cheated on her, and yet she still wants to marry him but is concerned about him still cheating.

Now my argument is the following,
If your partner is hot, and she satisfys you, then there is no reason to cheat (not that there is any excuse for it).

Her reason,
Some guys are just addicted to sex regardless of who they with,

So I would like others to give their view as to why guys cheat on their woman.
Click to expand...

I doubt it is as simple as that.

Sometimes it is the way the person he/she cheats with makes them feel. Iow while his fiance might be ""satisfy" his pysical sexual needs she might not be stimulating his mental sexual needs.

And yes some guys also cheat because they want to try the steak after having chicken for a long time.
 
killadoob said:
Nick i would imagine women cheat more than men, they are good liars unlike us so they get caught less.
Click to expand...

Ja, I'm inclined to agree. I think most women find it pretty easy to cheat if they feel that it just happened and no one will find out.
 
There is no reason for cheating.

There may be a motive involved, but there is no justification.
 
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