Coping with an overseas move

cguy said:
I left for better career opportunities. Also to lay the groundwork for a "backup plan". That was quite a bit pre-Zuma, so there were fewer political reasons to leave at the time.

It did take a while to get used to the US, but now it's home. Usually it just takes time. Also, some locales may be easier to adapt to than others - it makes sense to explore to find the most suitable state, city, suburb, etc.
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Which state you in?
 
CorrieV2.0 said:
The especially great part about New Zealand is that they also have land issues and if your child gets the same marks as a Maori then do expect that the Maori will get preferance when it comes to a UNI spot but yes you are right clearly better.

I think the biggest reason for people leaving is that they have convinced themselves that they are too good for this country, that and a lot of first world envy. It is natural though. We as South Africans are so indoctrinated with the constant stream of negativity towards our own country that for some it just becomes impossible to believe that anything good can come from here.
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This morning, I was trying to decide whether or not I should have an Americano or a Cappuccino with breakfast. I convinced myself that I was too good for an Americano. That and my frothed almond milk envy made me decide to go for the Cappuccino.
 
crackersa said:
CA is ok. Others are to cold for me
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I really like the cold weather. Sitting by the fireplace when it is below 0 or snowing is awesome. A lot of my friends who grew up in the cold areas aren't quite as intrigued by it though. ;)

Where did you live in the US?
 
cguy said:
I really like the cold weather. Sitting by the fireplace when it is below 0 or snowing is awesome. A lot of my friends who grew up in the cold areas aren't quite as intrigued by it though. ;)

Where did you live in the US?
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Born in Va....moved alot , some international and some stateside like Alabama, Indiana, Alaska and Hawaii
 
Safferbeauty said:
Hey all

I moved to Wales almost 2 weeks ago, technically still unemployed here but can still do my South African online job until I do find something. I am doing okay as I am with a very supportive family. What made any of you decide to move and how did you cope? It's been up and down for me but its interesting to hear how others are coping too
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You will possibly have times where the gravity of the choice will scare you a little. Having left over a year ago every now and again it hits me that I have uprooted my whole life, left everyone I know behind and making a new life. If you ever feel anxious just go straight back to the reasons you left and how moving has solved those problems. It's not easy and can be scary but ultimately you have probably made a good choice.


CorrieV2.0 said:
The especially great part about New Zealand is that they also have land issues and if your child gets the same marks as a Maori then do expect that the Maori will get preferance when it comes to a UNI spot but yes you are right clearly better.

I think the biggest reason for people leaving is that they have convinced themselves that they are too good for this country, that and a lot of first world envy. It is natural though. We as South Africans are so indoctrinated with the constant stream of negativity towards our own country that for some it just becomes impossible to believe that anything good can come from here.
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Nothing wrong with that. I AM too good to be shot, to be murdered, to be robbed, to live in constant fear. I AM better than all that and I deserve better. Have you ever thought that your self esteem is so low that you don't believe you deserve better? 2 sides to every coin hey. Isn't that inconvenient for you.

I left because I was tired of waking up thinking is today the day my GF gets raped and murdered? Is today the day I get hijacked and stabbed? All my **** has been stolen so many times I don't want to think about it. My car and basically everything worth any money that I owned was stolen 1 month before I emigrated. Was always living in constant fear that tonight is the night someone breaks in and does something terrible and you have no power to protect yourself. Tired of being told that because I am white I didn't earn anything I worked hard for, that my parents and I stole everything we had from blacks. I love South Africa but a large majority of people in SA are a bunch of rubbishes. My elderly mother was shot 3 times for her ****in wedding ring FFS! I now live in a place that I deserve and that deserves me. If I leave the window open by mistake my stuff is still here. If something breaks in the community the municipality fixes it. People are generally content and don't go around burning what little they have. It hurt to leave SA but every day something happened there was just another big neon signed being hoisted with the message affirming I was doing the right thing by leaving. My life is far more important than the common leeches living off those they try so hard to murder. For everything that you try to put in in SA you are put down, shamed and told you are not wanted.

Just remember their were fools like you in Zim as well. Every day is another day highlighting how Zuma does exactly what Mugabe does and worse. Go ahead, be enthusiastic, patriotic and hope for the best, but SA has had plenty of time to prove to me that it deserved me and it has clearly shown that it doesn't. I will not be ashamed of leaving to make a better life for myself. If blind faith is all you have left then I pity you, especially if you have the chance to leave and don't take it. People just don't realise how savage SA has become and that many people don't live their lives on those terms day to day. It's not how people should live and trying to justify what daily life has become in SA is just pure ignorant and dangerous.
 
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^^vampire^^ said:
You will possibly have times where the gravity of the choice will scare you a little. Having left over a year ago every now and again it hits me that I have uprooted my whole life, left everyone I know behind and making a new life. If you ever feel anxious just go straight back to the reasons you left and how moving has solved those problems. It's not easy and can be scary but ultimately you have probably made a good choice.




Nothing wrong with that. I AM too good to be shot, to be murdered, to be robbed, to live in constant fear. I AM better than all that and I deserve better. Have you ever thought that your self esteem is so low that you don't believe you deserve better? 2 sides to every coin hey. Isn't that inconvenient for you.

I left because I was tired of waking up thinking is today the day my GF gets raped and murdered? Is today the day I get hijacked and stabbed? All my **** has been stolen so many times I don't want to think about it. My car and basically everything worth any money that I owned was stolen 1 month before I emigrated. Was always living in constant fear that tonight is the night someone breaks in and does something terrible and you have no power to protect yourself. Tired of being told that because I am white I didn't earn anything I worked hard for, that my parents and I stole everything we had from blacks. I love South Africa but a large majority of people in SA are a bunch of rubbishes. My elderly mother was shot 3 times for her ****in wedding ring FFS! I now live in a place that I deserve and that deserves me. If I leave the window open by mistake my stuff is still here. If something breaks in the community the municipality fixes it. People are generally content and don't go around burning what little they have. It hurt to leave SA but every day something happened there was just another big neon signed being hoisted with the message affirming I was doing the right thing by leaving. My life is far more important than the common leeches living off those they try so hard to murder. For everything that you try to put in in SA you are put down, shamed and told you are not wanted.

Just remember their were fools like you in Zim as well. Every day is another day highlighting how Zuma does exactly what Mugabe does and worse. Go ahead, be enthusiastic, patriotic and hope for the best, but SA has had plenty of time to prove to me that it deserved me and it has clearly shown that it doesn't. I will not be ashamed of leaving to make a better life for myself. If blind faith is all you have left then I pity you, especially if you have the chance to leave and don't take it. People just don't realise how savage SA has become and that many people don't live their lives on those terms day to day. It's not how people should live and trying to justify what daily life has become in SA is just pure ignorant and dangerous.
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Why are you still coming back on a SA forum???
 
CorrieV2.0 said:
The especially great part about New Zealand is that they also have land issues and if your child gets the same marks as a Maori then do expect that the Maori will get preferance when it comes to a UNI spot but yes you are right clearly better.

I think the biggest reason for people leaving is that they have convinced themselves that they are too good for this country, that and a lot of first world envy. It is natural though. We as South Africans are so indoctrinated with the constant stream of negativity towards our own country that for some it just becomes impossible to believe that anything good can come from here.
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Bud, when last did you take a holiday trip to a decent first world country? Every time I do I realise how backwards SA is, first I think the first world is weird and everything just works, but really that is normal and what we have in SA is not normal, many of us have just become so used to the **** here that we've been desensitised.
 
crackersa said:
Born in Va....moved alot , some international and some stateside like Alabama, Indiana, Alaska and Hawaii
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I've been through Indiana. :). I did spend a few weeks in Alaska - very different world there - also very beautiful.
 
Spent 9 months in the Netherlands last year to do my PhD. Gravity of the situation and trying to cope with a new marriage led us both to decide to come back to SA (after the short-lived euphoria of the LGE 2016). Regret that decision now. We are heading back to the Netherlands. We would love to go to the USA but companies are not so inclined to hire foreign nationals without work permits already in place and the H1-B visa is a total lottery.

Lessons learnt from the first stint: It is really important to embrace the local culture and stop focusing on the differences as a negative. Use it as an opportunity to broaden your horizons and experiences. If you are settling in a country where English is not the local language make every effort to learn the local language. Locals truly appreciate it and it makes integration much easier. Get out and explore your surroundings, instead of creating a fort of safety from which you hardly ever leave. Perhaps even join a local support group for foreigner integration. I know there are quite a few of these groups in the Netherlands.
 
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We're also considering a move out of SA. Things are going really really bad really really quickly here.

Will just be myself and the SO. Just waiting for him to finish his LLB and then we can look at the possibility.

I'd like to move to a country where politics and religion don't play a very big role. Tired of both. Looking at Norway.
 
This is my second stint in the UK (first time was a 2-year working holidaymakers visa - this time is permanent). Adjustment is a lot quicker once you start working locally - you constantly interact with the locals, and eventually figure out our cultures aren't too dissimilar. I agree with the comments re: getting out there and experiencing your local surroundings. The UK has the most green space I've ever seen - Wales is particularly beautiful apparently, and is definitely on my to-do list. Also, it takes time for some, but it's important to stop thinking in Rands as well: "R50 for a cup of coffee?!"
 
This is a good thread that I hope doesn't get derailed. The talk of reasons for emigration is discussed on this forum on a daily basis. I don't think it needs to be regurgitated here. But one of the things that is not covered well enough, is the coping mechanisms of the big move.

Like others we are also in the process of planning the move, the hardest for us will be missing the family and friends. But there are other major changes that one doesn't even think about. Food, lifestyle, stuff we take for granted that those who have moved will only know/miss. I genuinely would like to hear from those on how they overcame these issues.
 
Join some meetups that correlate with your interests and force yourself to go to the same groups for 2 months. You might hate getting out in the beginning and constantly having to deal with new people, but after a few months you will be part of a few communities and it becomes a lot easier to build networks and branch out.
 
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