Forgiveness

YingYang said:
Ramodiana, you're gay right? How about you and mushroom hook up? Then you'll have some family.

As you can see mushroom smokes marawana and if I recall correctly you either smoke that as well of nyaope
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Who said I smoke nyaope
 
They see you as a cash cow. You forgave them in your way, now forget them and move on with your own life.
Family like these never forgive and forget, they just change their tactics. Be very careful.
I personally would stay away from people like this even it is my closest of family.
 
nivo said:
They see you as a cash cow. You forgave them in your way, now forget them and move on with your own life.
Family like these never forgive and forget, they just change their tactics. Be very careful.
I personally would stay away from people like this even it is my closest of family.
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Yeah I agree new tactics if anything happen to me they think all my pension money will go to them.
 
Ramodiana said:
It was my mother she asked "what am I doing with them I know they don't love us" so basically I'm caught in the middle. In my heart I forgave them but I can't seem to fine it in my heart to be buddy buddy with them and play happy family. If you were in my situation what would you do.
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Firstly remember this: you didn't choose to be part of their lives. This isn't a marriage or a relationship with your kids. And the people involved are adults. Which means that the forgive and forget attitude that they want you to adopt simply doesn't apply.

You can forgive someone and not hate them anymore for your own health. This also goes for helping people. If you choose to help people within your own capacity, it can help you as a person. If you feel that you would be a better person for helping these people in some small way or another then you should do it. I wouldn't go to the extent of buying them things. But if you are going to church for example, taking a slight detour to pick them up isn't going to cost you much.

If you feel that helping these people isn't going to do anything to make your life better, then simply say no.
 
And this is what happens when people don't setup a proper will for their children.

A lesson for everyone else.
 
Maybe a good idea to sell the house, as it will always keep you in their sites, cut ties and move on. I think they are just using you to get some free stuff, and if/when you tell them that that is not going to happen, their attitudes will probably change very fast.

You've spent a long time getting through this with no support from them, you have a life and Independence and should take that and enjoy it without the brothers negativity.
 
Sell the house, move away and break all communication with them.

They are not the kind of "family" you need. Keep in your close family close and lose the "buddy buddy" ones that want to backstab you as soon as they can.

Just because you are family, doesn't mean you need to forgive them or accept their behaviour.
 
Ramodiana said:
Afternoon friends I need a serious advice regarding forgiveness, as long as I can remember the have always been problems with my father's family. My father passed away in 2004 his old brother found the key for our house, he would come in when I was at school and my mother was at work. So one of the neighbors told us I was still young I don't know how things ended.

My mother passed away in 2007 after that hell broke loss, I was still young still in school the battle for the house started. Basically my father's brothers wanted me out of the house. The was a family meeting they told them what they want to do is wrong. So everyone went their own way, other family took me to come stay with them so I can complete my matric. I never heard anything from my father's brothers. To make income I rented my parents house and moved to Joburg after I finish matric.

While I was in Joburg the tenants would call me tell me, the one brother came and told them they must not send me rent money. He will come and collect it. To cut story short basically they didn't HELP me. I returned home Johannesburg was not for me found a job, I started to rebuild my life. Around 2014/2015 they came asked for forgiveness and lay the blame on me that I was young and confused.

I recently bought a car one of the brothers he is sick, he like to asking me to buy him stuff and take him to hospital, church etc. Basically he want us to be buddy buddy I tried to be supportive but I had a dream. It was my mother she asked "what am I doing with them I know they don't love us" so basically I'm caught in the middle. In my heart I forgave them but I can't seem to fine it in my heart to be buddy buddy with them and play happy family. If you were in my situation what would you do.
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OP

just because they have the title "family" does not mean your are tied to them indefinitely or you owe them anything!!

my father was extremely brutal - physically & mentally - it was confusing as a laaitie back then cause this is not what you'd expect from a parent - as no mater what I did, good or bad - it always ended up in me getting smacked or kicked. as I grew older I realised this is not for me and I broke all ties & left. I did seek treatment and that helped me a lot.

Since I've got on with my life without them - it's been awesome!
 
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