Friends after a break-up?

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Merlin

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...had me a less-than-pleasant evening - parted ways with my ladyfriend.

It was more or less a mutual decision, but it's still ***.

I'm fairly 'cold' emotionally, but she's not - and she had more of her heart invested in 'us' than I did - one of the reasons for the break-up.

However, it was the 'more than' part of the friendship that really caused the issues.

What's your take on friendship with an ex?
 
I am good mates with all of my ex's bar one - she just never got over it - its a pity because she was a sweet lady.

Besides never burn those bridges :D
 
I don't believe that you can ever be friends with an ex.

If you can be friends, then why break up ? It's a contradiction.

I don't mean that you should have a war, but I have never seen any of my ex's again, even when we parted amicably.
 
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Oh, and one of the reasons for not beings friends with ex's : I've never had a GF who would tolerate me even speaking to an Ex. That seems to be quite common amongst women, BTW.
 
Friends generally don't work - unless you BOTH feel NOTHING for each romantically anymore
 
Never works! (never worked for me)

They say it works, then after the break up, all is civil, then after a while, contact breaks and you never hear from the person again.
 
I dont think you can be friends with an ex, it wont work. If she gets a bf and she asks you for advice you'd be pissed that she's dating again and that she has the audacity to ask advice from you. Trust me I've been there, it doesnt work
 
If you have the ability to be friends with an ex you can. It is usually the ex who can't process or be friends with you and ultimately (even if indicating they want to be friends badly) most definitely don't put in any effort into any form of friendship most of the time.

NB, you being male. ex being female.

As for if it works. It can definitely, but it takes a level of maturity from both parties which I think is lacking in today's society.

The [-]heart[/-] mind/penis/vagina has the ability to complicate everything.
Click to expand...

Fixed that for you ;) Truly being in love with each other has 0 complications. Taking from a friendship to full fledged relationship/partnership back to friendship (when a breakup is mutual etc).

What complicates things are your own insecurities and past which you bring forward into a new relationship most of the time (both of you). It takes more effort to work at something (and I mean truly work at something with open and honest communication) than it is to pick a fight/fight over things that doesn't matter. And it all starts with the first lie: "No, I will never lie to you and will always be honest with you... even if it hurts your feelings". Show me someone who meant that and I'll show you my lucky charms and pot of gold (yes, I'm a leprechaun)

That... and the inability to CALM THE **** DOWN and discuss things like adults. Women love the sarcastic/throwing past grievances in your face route and you defend yourself with the same hurtful **** in the end (or other way around) instead of approaching an issue like 2 sane adults with the common purpose to resolve and grow with each other into one.

Anyway, nuff about my ramblings... how big were her tits?

NO I am NOT drunk... I'm not sober either...
 
Is it even possible to have a platonic friendship with someone with whom you have had an involved (and sexual) relationship - I have my doubts !

You are either going to hate her or you are going to want to drag her into bed again ! And I'm sure that females feel the same.
 
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I am very good friends with a recent ex of mine. Things just didn't work out, but we were friends before and we are friends after the relationship as well.
 
My girlfriend and I broke up two weeks ago... We didn't separate on a bad note though... She wanted to be "best buds" immediately after we broke up, and I thought --> What the hell, give it a chance... But it's now 2 weeks later and I haven't heard from her in like 6 days. So perhaps this "be friends" thing is a little overrated. I think it depends on how long the relationship lasted. There's just not that emotional bond in a 2-3 month relationship, that you'll find in a 2 year relationship. When my previous girlfriend and I broke up (we dated about 2 years), it took us about 3 months just to begin speaking to each other again and seeing one another again.

It's just difficult for things to be "normal", even just as friends, given the fact that you were once romantically involved. There's just that "something" that will make me always hold back in a friendship with her, because who knows what she might feel again when our friendship develops further?

So ja, once there's feelings and emotions involved, things get quite tricky and complicated. It's not a black-and-white playground, there's no rules on how these things work, at the end, we have to figure it out for ourselves! :p

Good luck!
 
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Thanks lads.

We're on speaking terms, and whilst there is still 'wierdness' there, we're doing OK. We both knew it had to happen.

It was a couple of months...

The general consensus as I see it is that it can work if both parties work at it. =]

...unless the ex is a psycho stalker and you want to avoid her. I speak from experience...

AR: Just right. ;)
 
Hell no, i was with my ex for 8 years. I just cannot bring myself to see her. Her brother is my best mate so it is hard to avoid her totally but it has been like 7 months and shyte is still weird. To make matters worse she moved in with her brother so now i avoid both of them as much as possible.

It is strange because i always try come across as this guy with no feelings and blah blah but the sight of her drives me nuts, not sure if miss her, dislike her or what but ya cannot or will not ever be friends that is for sure. Oddly the only thing i miss about our relationship is our puppy :(.
 
One of my ex-boyfriends are my son's godfather. So yes, staying friends afterwards is possible and sometimes even better than dating that person.
 
Relationship starts as a friendship. Am I right?
So it's possible to be friends after you broke up. But it's hard for both of you to stay there for too long since it might hurt one of you in the long run.
 
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