Getting over someone - Advice please

best experience you will ever have ...the chase is so awesome

the hurt is bad ....

but think of it ...what if someone better than you comes along if she is your gf ...she will do the same to you

accept that she has a bf and make the best out of it ...
 
Positively Negative said:
Hi Forum,

I don't think this is the place to share the feels and all , and I think it's pretty silly.But anyways.
I need some serious advice with regards to getting over this one lady.Work colleague :(

We had something going on for awhile and it was real awesome. She has a boyfriend so it was never going to honestly evolve into something meaningful. My issue is that I've fallen pretty too far with her.
We still have tons of chemistry and get along etc. My issue is I want more, and she won't leave him for me.
She's told me on a number of occasions that she would rather have me (but it's complicated,culture & religion...f!@#!).

Now there is realistically no chance of us ever being exclusive. So I've tried cutting her off more and more...it never works! We have to work together too so I have to try keep things civil.I REALLY need to just move on.
But I can't. I have this sweet gf I can mess around with, but I've completely lost interest in just doing that.
This girl has some stupid trance on me and I just want out.
It sounds drastic, but if I can't shake this off...I really may consider resigning in the next month or two.

Can you all please give me some hope!?! I totally believe that out of sight/out of mind works! I didn't have to see her for the December break, and I could deal. It's the fact I see her daily that grates me.
It makes me feel sick some days. I forcefully demand my emotions to just STFU, but they have their own way.

Ok, insults and advice away :D
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You should look for other work and resign. It would make it easier if you didn't see her everyday.
 
Break up with your GF straight away, she doesnt deserve what you are doing/have done to her.
Tell the flings BF what happened.
That way she will end up hating you and you wont need to worry about feelings for her anymore.
 
Rocket-Boy said:
Break up with your GF straight away, she doesnt deserve what you are doing/have done to her.
Tell the flings BF what happened.
That way she will end up hating you and you wont need to worry about feelings for her anymore.
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No. He must tell his girlfriend, then if he doesn't want to be with her he should leave. Then accept the fcked up situation and allow nature to run its course. What must be wI'll be.
 
dreamrobin said:
No. He must tell his girlfriend, then if he doesn't want to be with her he should leave. Then accept the fcked up situation and allow nature to run its course. What must be wI'll be.
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If someone cheated on you, would you like to know, or rather let them just leave you?, What im asking is, don't you think it will hurt the other party less if they do not know they have been betrayed?
Personally i will never cheat, and have been cheated on, and looking back, if she did not tell me a lot of tears and anger would have been saved, all my new girlfriends suffers because of my trust issues my ex is directly responsible for, i just think sometimes its better not to know.
 
Lament said:
If someone cheated on you, would you like to know, or rather let them just leave you?, What im asking is, don't you think it will hurt the other party less if they do not know they have been betrayed?
Personally i will never cheat, and have been cheated on, and looking back, if she did not tell me a lot of tears and anger would have been saved, all my new girlfriends suffers because of my trust issues my ex is directly responsible for, i just think sometimes its better not to know.
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He has to give a reason for breaking up and what better than the truth? Also, the truth comes out and imagine she found out somewhere else, that will cause even more shlt. The damage is done, he must be a man and admit what happens after that is all part of the situation. But honesty is the best policy.
 
dreamrobin said:
He has to give a reason for breaking up and what better than the truth? Also, the truth comes out and imagine she found out somewhere else, that will cause even more shlt. The damage is done, he must be a man and admit what happens after that is all part of the situation. But honesty is the best policy.
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I just don't get why people cheat, some point of your relationship you must have loved the other person, how can one do that to a other person, and a person you loved for that matter. Why keep someone on a string and betray them, why not just tell them you are not happy and leave them. i just don't understand the logic behind some people's actions.
 
dreamrobin said:
He has to give a reason for breaking up and what better than the truth? Also, the truth comes out and imagine she found out somewhere else, that will cause even more shlt. The damage is done, he must be a man and admit what happens after that is all part of the situation. But honesty is the best policy.
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Double post.
 
Rereading the OP I realise the 'gf' is the chick at work not another woman....
 
I don't know, to me it still sounds like he's saying he's go this sweet girlfriend. Would you guys mind transliterating that sentence a bit please?
 
In my mind it reads like he has a girlfriend on the side whilst being in a relationship with the cheater. He reckons this chick is his dream girl and then goes on to say he has a "sweet" girlfriend who he isn't really interested in. That to me means 2 different ladies.
 
XennoX said:
In my mind it reads like he has a girlfriend on the side whilst being in a relationship with the cheater. He reckons this chick is his dream girl and then goes on to say he has a "sweet" girlfriend who he isn't really interested in. That to me means 2 different ladies.
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That is exactly how i understand it.
 
But I can't. I have this sweet gf I can mess around with, but I've completely lost interest in just doing that.
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I read it as: I have this sweet girl who is a friend that I can mess around with but I have lost interest in fooling around and want a real relationship.
 
Beachless said:
I read it as: I have this sweet girl who is a friend that I can mess around with but I have lost interest in fooling around and want a real relationship.
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Now you've got me confused as well :D

OP, get yo ass back here and clarify!
 
Beachless said:
I read it as: I have this sweet girl who is a friend that I can mess around with but I have lost interest in fooling around and want a real relationship.
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Pretty much what I read too. Sounds like he is single, but there is this woman at work he fools around with and have lots of fun with, the only problem is she already has a bf who is accepted by her family. For some reason he won;t be accepted?

Anyways the way I see it, she is not in love with her bf, and that is why she is cheating on him, because he doesn't cater for her needs.

So even though this girl is cheating on her BF, keep in mind, she is also human, and probably thinking to break up with her bf now will break him. However cheating on him is worse, but she still can't get herself to break up with him, so it is easier to cheat on him, get caught out, and let him break up with her. There is a 2nd point to this, and that is, if she breaks up with him, he may draw the breakup out, and ask her to try again ect, and maybe she just doesn't want that, instead she want the instant break-up that she can get if caught out.

Anyways that is human nature. Eventually she will break up with her bf. The OP just need to man up, decide what he want (which I think he wants this girl) and just continue the relationship with her, as if she doesn't have a current bf, just ignore that fact, and she will eventually break up with him. She will do the hard work, but if you pressure her into breaking up with him, you will come forth as not being confident, and you will lose her.
 
But I can't. I have this sweet gf I can mess around with, but I've completely lost interest in just doing that.
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GF = Girl Friend
But reading the sentence again im also not quite sure anymore.
 
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