Gift or not?

M

Merlin

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Afternoon chaps and ladies,

Two weeks ago, over the phone, he happened to mention that he's getting married.

The wedding is on Friday.

About an hour ago I called a friend of mine for an update on something. During the course of the conversation he said that he's sending me an invite (assumed wedding, correctly). He said he'd paid for a number of places, some people can't make it and he doesn't want empty seats.

As you may have gathered by now, we're not close friends. I am somewhat insulted by the whole thing, but I reckon my lady friend and I will rock up (nothing else planned fro FRI), grab some grub, have a drink and shoot the sh*t.

I'm not seriously expected to arrive with a gift, am I? Just want to check what all of you would do...

Thanks.
 
Mikroz said:
Afternoon chaps and ladies,

Two weeks ago, over the phone, he happened to mention that he's getting married.

The wedding is on Friday.

About an hour ago I called a friend of mine for an update on something. During the course of the conversation he said that he's sending me an invite (assumed wedding, correctly). He said he'd paid for a number of places, some people can't make it and he doesn't want empty seats.

As you may have gathered by now, we're not close friends. I am somewhat insulted by the whole thing, but I reckon my lady friend and I will rock up (nothing else planned fro FRI), grab some grub, have a drink and shoot the sh*t.

I'm not seriously expected to arrive with a gift, am I? Just want to check what all of you would do...

Thanks.
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You should bring a gift yes and one that represents as much of an after thought as the invitation does... R50 gift voucher for CNA perhaps...
 
That IS insulting .... he basically admitted that you are invited as a "seat filler".

If I were you, I would not go. If you were so close to him/the bride, you would have been invited from the get-go.
 
I'm not close. At all. It's an association of benefit for both of us for the most part - we share a vintage motoring hobby.

The bride I've greeted twice before.

The least I can do is take a drive up the road and grab dinner on his behalf. :)

I'm inclined to pitch with no gift.
 
Mikroz said:
I'm not close. At all. It's an association of benefit for both of us for the most part - we share a vintage motoring hobby.

The bride I've greeted twice before.

The least I can do is take a drive up the road and grab dinner on his behalf. :)

I'm inclined to pitch with no gift.
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Guess it's just me, but I find it odd to attend a wedding if I have no real bond (family/friendship) with at least one of the couple.
 
doobyscoo said:
An envelope is a perfectly acceptable gift in a situation like this.
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Yip. And put a note that says - thanks for the food. That way none of the other guests will glare at you for not bringing something, and you get your own back for being a second thought.

Skip the ceremony, only go for the reception and take advantage of a free date for you and your other half :D Hopefully there will be an open bar.
 
The people marrying are likely so busy they can't distinguish between who brought a gift & who didn't.
 
I don't necessarily agree with anyone's opinion thus far (except maybe blunomore's on some level)

Why go in the first place if you're just going to half-ass the gift as a method of "revenge" for the "after-thought invitation"? Ever thought that they had a budget to work with and could only invite a limited amount of people and that you were initially on the list but had to be trimmed down? And now that seats have been paid for and everything is done, some people can't make it and now you're getting an invitation? (something I assume isn't email or over-the-phone based?)

Stop being daft. Either don't go or get a proper gift. You can always use the "too short notice" excuse to not go.

Karma is a bitch. Remember that.
 
RustyPrincess said:
Yip. And put a note that says - thanks for the food. That way none of the other guests will glare at you for not bringing something, and you get your own back for being a second thought.

Skip the ceremony, only go for the reception and take advantage of a free date for you and your other half :D Hopefully there will be an open bar.
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*lol* I'm taking a guess, but I reckon there's only one other person I'll know there...somewhat. The brother.

I've been warned that the family may come across as somewhat...for lack of a better word, derogatory. Sounds like fun. Haha.

Truth be told, I'd probably rather not go. 1. I was put on the spot and wasn't 100% sure how to back out of it at that moment. 2. I have a lien over some assets currently in my friend's possession. Trying to avoid a messy situation there for the moment.
 
AcidRaZor said:
I don't necessarily agree with anyone's opinion thus far (except maybe blunomore's on some level)

Why go in the first place if you're just going to half-ass the gift as a method of "revenge" for the "after-thought invitation"? Ever thought that they had a budget to work with and could only invite a limited amount of people and that you were initially on the list but had to be trimmed down? And now that seats have been paid for and everything is done, some people can't make it and now you're getting an invitation? (something I assume isn't email or over-the-phone based?)

Stop being daft. Either don't go or get a proper gift. You can always use the "too short notice" excuse to not go.

Karma is a bitch. Remember that.
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The invite was a scan sent by email.

See above for a start. ^

I have no problem with being excluded from a wedding on the basis of finance. I also am not out to exact "revenge" - I simply wondered whether a gift was in order considering the way >he< phrased things in the phone call today. It lacked tact in all respects.

If you invited me to your wedding with less than 5 days to go and I accepted on the spot, and then cancelled with an excuse, would you not suspect my exit as a farce and be insulted?
 
Mikroz said:
I'm not close. At all. It's an association of benefit for both of us for the most part - we share a vintage motoring hobby.

The bride I've greeted twice before.

The least I can do is take a drive up the road and grab dinner on his behalf. :)

I'm inclined to pitch with no gift.
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Actually I would pitch up with a box of condoms. Hopefully he'd take the hint and not pollute the gene pool.
 
Mikroz said:
The invite was a scan sent by email.
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This makes everything even worse! How cheap!

If you invited me to your wedding with less than 5 days to go and I accepted on the spot, and then cancelled with an excuse, would you not suspect my exit as a farce and be insulted
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You are the one invited as a seatfiller and you are wondering if HE will be insulted????? Wow!
 
No gift. Go to the wedding if you haven't got anything else to do, have a free chow and hopefully some free booze and have a good jol with your missus.
 
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