Hmm, so two fixed lines walk into a bar ...

T

TwinDucT

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The one turns to the other and say "Hey guess what?! I'm a 512k line and I run at a constant 26-28 dB noise margin". "Oh yeah?" The second line retorts, "I'm a 1mb line, running on 4mb and I can't maintain a Noise level above 8. Hell some times I drop down to 3-4 and lose my sync!". The First line gasps as he hears this. "You know .. the funny thing is we're not even 2 meters apart from each other, yet our level of quality so different! ". "I know" The second line states. "Perhaps someone out there can explain to us why this is possible and perhaps advise on a possible solution"

"Hold on a second there guys! What about me?! Think I have anything to do with this problem?" The Netgear DG384v3 Asks.

The Two fixed lines and Router stares at each other as this question lingers in the air ....
 
A mysterious genie appears, scratches his chin and oozes over to the lines, "What is yours guys line attenuation at?"
 
The fixed lines looks bewildered for they have no idea what their attenuation is. The router asks with all his courage "How would I, a lonely router, go about finding that out?". The router waits as the genie stares at him with cold eyes ..
 
Stranger appears, offers no help... 'but thanks the lines for the laugh so early in the morning'. As the stranger leaves the bar, he yells "Telkom owns you, maybe thats the root of your problem."

Genie, please help the lonely router as he has a wish left.
 
The Telkom cable is made up of multiple pairs of wires. It is common that one pair has a different inpedence from its neighbour, or probebly more common, that one pair has a poor connection somewhere between the switch and the router.

You need to get Telkom to carry out a line test. Good luck! :)
 
damnit, i thought it was a joke. still funny though....
 
LoL@ this post.. nice to see u guys still have a sense of humour and imagination .. now if only that genie could get us an 8mbps line that'd be sweet...
 
The Genie straightens his back, stands upright and takes a deep breath, Gunston lights has taken its toll. He bellows out, " Why you 2 lines, what little router helper is having this disagreement with you? For there are many in the land before time and the model is important" The genie looks around and makes sure that evil bas.... Mustafkom is nowhere near and says, "Beware my young threads, that if you live too far from Mustafkoms many palaces called exchanges, you will not work well the higher speed you are." Feeling important now, holding scarce infomation only held by a select few, the Genie continues....."You, the 4mb one. If your line attenuation is above 48db(Genies Opinion) downstream then you will have poor company in Mustafkoms nearby palace"

The Genie looked down and saw the lines were confused. But he knew that was unfortunately the way things were in the land of drugs and make believe.....
 
The lines stared at each other, almost as if in a haze. "Well great sir" the line called 4mb started, "I'm still young in this world and don't understand what you mea ...". 4mb is cut off in mid sentence as the one called Netgear DG834 violates him by forcing him into one of his sockets. "I'm so sorry great genie, these lines don't understand the idea of etiquette, let alone manners. I will do the reading for you sir. This one reads .. 53dB with a noise margin of 4-6kb". 512kb stares in horror as his friend's cord, 4mb, dangles from NetGear.

512kb wasn't prepared for what happened next, even before 512kb could figure out what was going in, NetGear grabbed him by his port and swallowed his face.
"Ah this one sire ... he reads 59dB with a Noise margin of 26.5-28dB. Please sir, forgive there failures, they are just new to this world, the great Mustafkoms, treated them badly."

Netgear stares with desperate eyes at the genie, ignoring the horrific shrieks that pounds from his rear. The helpful stranger from earlier just stares at this unfolds ...
 
The serene, smokey ambience of Bar Technoir was shattered like cathode ray tubing as the saloon doors were parted with a kick. In the doorway stood a shadowy figure, highlighted by the unmistakable glint of bling. It was Telkom Shakir.

"WAAASSSSUP, FOOLS!", exclaimed Shakir.

"I'MA BUST A CAP IN YO' ASS!"

---

By the time the the smoke had cleared it was too late. Amidst the broken corpses of colleagues and peripherals, Wan Meg noticed the lifeless body of his close friend and cousin. With ruptured insulation and exposed copper, he snaked his way closer but it was in vein. Telkom Shakir towered over his wounded victim.

"See, das whatchoo get, cuz. Da whole muthafskin' worl' is built on monopolies, brother. And you ain't gon' change that. Yo' frien' couldn't change it and look at dis dead-ass muthafscker. A cap straight through the RJ-muthafskin'-45. Sad part is, cuz...you's nex'."

"Ww..w..wait." gasped the line.

"Sorry, cuz. Everybody gots ta go sometime, an' yo' time be now."

*roll credits*
 
Meanwhile in a field nearby, Yoda was inspecting his crop. Suddenly he sensed a re-sync in the force. For Yoda was a wise old Jedi and he knew what had happened. Mumbling to himself..

"Weak the Mustafkoms service is, weak it is. The faster your line speed and higher your line attenuation will lead to the dark side of despair. Meditate on asking Mustafkom to short your line speed to 3mb to see it its better."
 
Hey Twin thought you disappeared like my attenuation...hehe currently teaching the techies in my area what attenuation means...they re-wired my connection at home 30 times and reset the dslam 20 times in the last 3 weeks after I told them it's the damn physical copper between the dslam and my house you must look at dumbwits, check for loose connections, jumpers, electric fences etc etc...the response...aah, eish, ok I call you tomorrow.
 
The lightning leaves the heavens white as it shatters past each clouds, slowly the sound of life fades away, soon the only sound that seems to be alive is the beating of the clouds. Soon the echo of rain drops fills the air.

4mb can't feel his cord. He starts to run through the events as they unfolded. He stares at the rapid changing sync lite of Netgear, every time it fails, the orange glow dims away even more. Pretty soon it won't even try anymore. He remember being shot, but yet he doesn't feel any pain. The Genie was right to whisper ... the lines didn't know that the Mustafkoms was soo worried about the existence of these faults. He was so worried he sent his top assassin, Shakir. The line started to chuckle, thinking that despite everything else, his dream of being featured on a rap album, will finally come true. Even though he'll be referred to as a victim in this song.

The light slowly fades, 4mb knows his time is up. He starts to wonder what will happen now, who will look after his mother Analog, or his great grand dad, ipx. It fades away ... worries .. ideas .. stress .. questions. Everything fades, other than the darkness. It grows.
 
Change the Twisted pair pair

Sorry to disrupt your "Tale of Two Lines" :)

Just ask one of the local Telcom techs to change your line pairs

This is a normal service that Telkom does. Basically make a change at your nearest junction box and take your line from home and swop them with a spare set going back to the exchange.

Most times helps sort out specific pair attenuation and other problems.

IF they do not know what you talking about -- try and find an older techie

THIS is what we had to to do in the days of 9,600 ANALOGUE MODEMS


MW
 
hehe cool thanks, I'll try that :D
Aborg, hehe yeah I'm like the wind :D
 
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