How many lovers is one too many?

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Cheri_N

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With regards to this article how many lovers do you think is too many? Why? Do you think that a woman should not have had as many partners as a man? If she has, she is a slut, but he is a stud? :whistle:

"Without meaning to be too intrusive, how many people have you slept with? Warren Beatty managed 12,775 women over 35 years, which works out at about one a day. It is said that Fidel Castro has had sex with two women a day for over 40 years - one at noon, one at dinner, and never twice with the same one - though whether he can still keep up this level of sexual rigour as he nears his 84th birthday is doubtful.

Castro’s lovers make Don Giovanni’s tally of 2,065 look rather measly, while Casanova’s 122 conquests seem positively pathetic. As for legendary swordsman Nick Clegg, who famously admitted to having slept with “no more than 30 women”? He’s practically a virgin.

Speaking to Kirsty Young, Barber said that in her first 18 months at Oxford, she had just one boyfriend. “My thinking after that was that I must get a boyfriend immediately and that I haven’t got time to waste going punting or to dinner with them. Why don’t I just go to bed with them first, eliminate them if they are no good and not waste time.”

Thanks to her forensic dissection of interviewees, the 66-year-old journalist is often referred to as the Demon Barber of Fleet Street. So you have to hand it to her for her own brutal honesty. Yet Barber argues that it doesn’t matter how many people you have gone to bed with. “I would criticise more what I call the Elizabeth Taylor syndrome, where highly sexed women feel they have to marry the man they sleep with. Then they get divorced and do the same thing over and over again. This seems to be happening in America now.” Given that Barber went on to marry a fellow student, David Cardiff, with whom she stayed until his death seven years ago, you have to concede that she has a rather good point.

Yet her admission has caused a bit of an uproar - most likely because Barber is a woman. While men have long been forgiven their promiscuity, it seems that for a female - even in the 21st Century - admitting to a colourful sexual history is <itals> just not the done thing <itals>. Indeed, the only other recent example of a prominent woman revealing how many sexual partners she has had is the Girls Aloud singer Kimberley Walsh. Her number? Two.

A more amusing revelation came last month, when it emerged that throughout the sixth series of Sex and the City, the characters had 115 million indirect sexual partners. Pity the poor person who had to work that out. But while Carrie et al may be fictional, they are probably more in line with the modern woman than Ms Walsh.

A survey in March found that young women have three times as many lovers as their grandmothers did in the swinging sixties, with 10 per cent admitting they have had more than 10 sexual partners by the age of 24. Meanwhile, research published this weekend found that one in five men have had just one lover. Apparently, the demands of legions of nymphomaniac women are making them increasingly worried about their performance. Diddums.

So men are having fewer partners, while women are having more... could it be that finally, the sexes are balancing out? And furthermore, does it really matter how many people we go to bed with? Tracey Cox, a sex therapist, advises that the best answer to any query over previous liasons is “none of your business”. “If you do confess, especially if you’re female, I guarantee that no matter what number you say, it’ll be too many. Even if you’ve only had five,” she sighs, “it will still be four too many.” "
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I dont think there should be a limit for either sex. We all have needs. As long as you are safe, responsible and are clear about your intentions (NSA only etc) and no one gets hurt, physically or emotionally, then go for it. Shag away.
 
If a key opens many locks it is a master key. If a lock is opened by many keys it is a sh itty lock.

Or something...
 
Kilgore_Trout_Redux said:
If a key opens many locks it is a master key. If a lock is opened by many keys it is a sh itty lock.

Or something...
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damn you! I was going to post that!


I'm for sex in a committed relationship... so I don't know what my number will be
 
Well in the hunt the men are the hunters and the women are the hunted. If a man can catch many prey then he is a good hunter. If the prey can be caught by any hunter then it's pretty ****ty prey. This hunter/hunted thing is womens fault for not putting out more in the first place. If women put out then it wouldn't be a trophy for a man to sleep with one.
So to answer your question Cheri, for a woman 1 previous guy is too many for a guy.
 
I don't really care but I never want to hear about them.

Even if I ask.
 
I'm also a big fan of only shagging in committed relationships so number of relationships should equal number of partners even if its a bit highish. Same goes for both sides. Any more than that is too much.

The only reason why I see it that way is because I'm a big whooosy. Chances are just too damn good to end up with some disease if you shag easy people even if you keep it "safe"
 
As many as you like, provided you're playing safe and are functioning with at least a reasonable amount of self-esteem.

Unfortunately, even in this day and age woman who have had many partners are still viewed as sluts. Society is a least more tolerant, so you're unlikely to be burned at the stake but you'll undoubtedly have to put up with a lot of criticism if you're a woman who enjoys sex with multiple partners. I'm inclined to say fcck the ignorant haters but, we've all got to work and get along in society so my advice would be keep your sex life to yourself as much as possible.
 
To all guys, seriously - never ask about previous lovers - even if you think you would like to know, at some point - you DON'T.

It is like watching 2girls1cup - once it's done, it's done - you can never unsee/unhear it.
 
Cheri_N said:
Do you think that a woman should not have had as many partners as a man? If she has, she is a slut, but he is a stud? :whistle:
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It’s a biological imperative IMO. I think that women are more apt to be faithful and dedicated (yes they cheat) but I think with them it’s less impulsive than with a male. Men are more twitchy about infidelity because they have only the woman’s word about who the father of their child is (only the mother knows for certain), which they expend resources in raising. Women require men around to help with the child rearing and provide protection etc. when they are heavily pregnant and essentially helpless. Thus women strive to cater to the paranoia of men – it’s in their interest because promiscuity in women may indicate to men a propensity for sleeping around. They may be caught-out.

Gay relationships are irrelevant to this equation – they are not fertile.
 
Keeper said:
To all guys, seriously - never ask about previous lovers - even if you think you would like to know, at some point - you DON'T.

It is like watching 2girls1cup - once it's done, it's done - you can never unsee/unhear it.
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this +1

men are b*stards, and wanna shag everything that is female, because we are genetically coded that way. well, most of us. doesnt mean we get it right though. women can pretty much pick n choose who they want to sleep with, but most (I like to imagine) have ethics n morals n what-have-you's. however, sex is nice, and sex is lekker, and the more the better, or some such. so if you can find someone you can be committed to, and vice-versa. excellent! but if you need some nookie, but the other half is a pain in the arse, then you should do the right thing, tell him/her, and go get another shag elsewhere
 
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