How to put off a sponger - advice needed

If he’s 64, he should get government pension.
 
I know private contractor's who cannot afford to have a accident or something big get stolen. Chrisc, you did a good job, pray for wisdom, let he get government pension and tell him to get his life in order.
 
Tell him MyBB has spoken and if he wishes to contest this decision he should pray to Pepe and sacrifice a young white lamb on Clifton 4th beach and place it's blood over his face and arms while saying 'jet fuel doesn't melt steel beams' or 'he will not divide us'.

Then on the second day when the blood of the animal has turned brown and crusty, he should accumulate the dry blood from his arms and snort it in his nose. If he sees a vision of a white rider on a black stallion, he should return to you. Though if he looks in the mirror and sees a bloody ****, then he should not return. Verily, it has been decided.

Btw if you would like more counselling I offer other such services, for a pricelist feel free to PM me.
 
Stop being a giver.

Simple as that.

The third one? Doesn’t that tell you everything already?

You don’t have a sponging problem, you have a giving problem.

Simply stop and they’ll go away.
 
chrisc said:
I registered the bakkie in his name, as once before I bought a car and lent it to someone, who in turn lent it to some guy who used it in an armed robbery. Next thing the cops were here making a scene

Its difficult getting someone who is 64 a job. He does not have what I would call a commanding presence and tends to put his foot in it. I cannot see him ever working, although I had thought that if I cut him off completely it might give him an incentive to look a bit harder

I gave him a spreadsheet showing the amounts owing on it. It then took him about 5 seconds to ask whether I was going to give him the R200 he desperately needed
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I am not sure that he's a sponger, sounds like he's a guy who has fallen on hard times, and has realised that you're the Fountain of Plenty.

It is a great pity that his children don't look after him, sounds like they deserve a lesson. If he wants to be a good father, refer him to the maintenance court, he does not need an attorney, and he can get the court to subpoena his children and explain to the judge why they don't want to look after their daddy.
 
chrisc said:
I registered the bakkie in his name, as once before I bought a car and lent it to someone, who in turn lent it to some guy who used it in an armed robbery. Next thing the cops were here making a scene

Its difficult getting someone who is 64 a job. He does not have what I would call a commanding presence and tends to put his foot in it. I cannot see him ever working, although I had thought that if I cut him off completely it might give him an incentive to look a bit harder

I gave him a spreadsheet showing the amounts owing on it. It then took him about 5 seconds to ask whether I was going to give him the R200 he desperately needed
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I think every time you posted here you answered your own questions.

This person is a parasite living of you until he mentally and physically drained you the point of death.

Immediately stop caring about their well being completely, cut them off, expect everything that the might owe you to be written off and get this person out of your life immediately. The longer you play their game the longer you would be stuck with this twisted "relationship".

The next time they make any sort of contact you just make it clear to them that you will get a restraining order from the court if they dont stop reaching out to you.

Teach a man to fish and they will feed them self for life but give a man fish and they will come back forever to ask for more fish. I think you somehow ended up in the latter category even though your heart was in the right place from what I can see.
 
3WA said:
If he’s 64, he should get government pension.
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Considering all the stuff he received for free and still could not survive without asking for even more I seriously doubt he would be able to survive even a week on any type of government issued pension even if he could qualify for it.
 
Wow, you have done more than enough already. I would not give him another cent unless it is for work delivered to you.
 
chrisc said:
Met this fellow (64 years old) 4 years ago, he was doing some cupboards for a friend, he tells me he is a carpenter and did a neat and tidy job, so I asked him to re-do a kitchen in a rental flat. This too was done well. I had to pay him 2/3 up front which was the materials and half labour

During the next year he did more jobs for me, one kitchen, some BICS and some outside work

Then he had an accident which resulted in him breaking a leg and was off for 10 weeks. Since then he has done a few more jobs and I have gotten him work. The off-work period resulted in him having no money left, absolutely zero

Then his bakkie was stolen, along with tools, from site. No insurance. Now he is in big poo. No bakkie, few tools, he is also badly in arrear with his flat levy to the tune of R45000. He lives in a flat in Goodwood which he paid R400k for back in 2005. The managing agent has threatened eviction

So I bought him a cheapie (R90k) and he undertook to pay me back. I made sure it was insured

Nothing whatever has been paid and I get these phone calls that they have no food, nothing to eat so now and then I put R500 into his bank

Now the bakkie needs tyres and a brake and clutch job, can I help? Another R20k or so.... On it goes

He won't take no for an answer and sometimes arrives at my house at 7.30 asking for another handout and starts to become surly when I say no. His kids seem to be useless, he cannot depend on them

He is now the third person I help out with money now and then, the others do not ask but when they do some work, I pay them double what they ask

??
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I've have experience with this kind of person. Best advice is to stop taking their calls, bar them from your property as best you can, and if need be, call the cops on them if they won't leave.

The surliness is reflective of the sense of entitlement the person developed based on your previous behavior.

If you open a tap they expect it to stay open, forgetting it's not their water.
.
 
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