Kids and dating...

If it was Korn, I'd think about it. I have at least met him and I can figure where he lives :D.

No, this is the thing. Daughter is 14 and wants to go to the movies Saturday afternoon with some guy who is 14. Little pervert bastard! Her mother thinks it is ok because she works with the parents. She (mother) also thinks I am conservative despite my colourful past. I explain it is because of my past that I am like that but anyways. I don't wanna come off as some stuck up old man but at the same time I have a duty.
 
Are you worried about dating, or worried about sex? Because they are 2 very different issues.
Fact is, if your kid decides to have at it, there isn't anything you can do to stop them. You have to have taught them respect for the sacredness of sex from an early age - as well as respect for the other gender.

Most of you will already know me as being somewhat old-fashioned, but I'd say it depends on the kid. I decided for myself that I would not date while still in High School because I understood that we were still too young to make smart, serious relationship choices. Also, I had a very different view of what dating meant i.t.o serious relationships and commitment levels opposed to that of my peers around me. To them, dating was fun and flirty and not at all serious. Date this guy this week, date that guy next week.

Is your kid mature and makes smart choices on their own? Do they listen to you when you warn them about things and take your advice seriously? If yes, they could probably start dating at a younger age than their peers. However, they need to define for themselves what dating means.

If your kid is arguing with you about being allowed to date, you need to sit down with them and discuss what they understand by dating, what it means to them, the seriousness with which they regard it, why they want to do it, what the other person means to them, and how they feel about sex and relationships. Let them decide for themselves whether or not they are ready to date, knowing that it opens up a world of heartbreak, sadness, confusion, pressure and potential health risks.

Push for more group-based activities until they have had a fair chance to get to know each other better, and you've had a chance to meet the guy too. However, don't be too strict on what may just be a casual get-together. It may take a date or two for your kid to make up her own mind about how she views dating. After all, you can't judge something you don't know anything about.
 
Last edited:
GreGorGy said:
If it was Korn, I'd think about it. I have at least met him and I can figure where he lives :D.

No, this is the thing. Daughter is 14 and wants to go to the movies Saturday afternoon with some guy who is 14. Little pervert bastard! Her mother thinks it is ok because she works with the parents. She (mother) also thinks I am conservative despite my colourful past. I explain it is because of my past that I am like that but anyways. I don't wanna come off as some stuck up old man but at the same time I have a duty.
Click to expand...

Yeah we know he's a pervert, because we've all been there :D But you don't want to be the dick who's always saying no either, because will make her start doing things behind your back.

Maybe the best compromise is to agree to it, but you drop them off and pick them up at a certain time. Let them hold hands and whatnot, but at least you know that it's not much beyond that.
 
Tough one mate,I would not let my daughter go(if I had one) unless she went with a group of friends.
Mike makes a good point plus that little angel will go on dates one day so why not now? The only move the guy will make would be the yawn and arm over her :D
 
Last edited:
My boy is 16 and guess he has been sexually active for sometime ( and with girls his own age or younger :D ) however, hopefully I have taught him enough to be safe and know the dangers..haha, ESP of dads with shotguns...I can't stop him so would rather he was aware. We talk openly about safe sex etc. I have been a little more hardcore with my daughter...a few episodes of Birth Stories and she has sworn off all boys and babies for life. Let's hope it stays that way. :p
 
// googles sterilization

Ffs!! This is scary shyte.

Some one said 13, 13!!! They should be playing with barbies not boys.
IMHO. I know nothing my cats had to be neutered before the were teenagers. :o
 
After matric me thinks because datings fsks up their mind when they should be using it for academics.
 
Mila said:
// googles sterilization

Ffs!! This is scary shyte.

Some one said 13, 13!!! They should be playing with barbies not boys.
IMHO. I know nothing my cats had to be neutered before the were teenagers. :o
Click to expand...

You're right - it is scary. Very scary for us as parents, especially. But read what Carol said and what AniV said. As scared as I may be of this situation, fear and saying no and being strict may not be the best cause of action. It is my gut feel, to a large degree, but that does not make it the right cause of action. Things were different when I was that age. So it is a little hard for me to approach it as the "responsible adult" that I am expected to be.

In fact, to be entirely honest, I am incredibly irresponsible. I have no issue going out and getting hammered and smoking a joint or two and living a generally hedonistic lifestyle. Sure, I can at least take some precautions (sober driver, for eg) but that doesn't change the fact that my behaviour has not been the best example by a long shot. And now the chickens have come home to roost and I am suddenly finding myself conservative.

That's why I asked here. I don't exactly have the most calibrated moral compass but I certainly do not want my daughter making the many fkups I made.
 
drop them off, pick them up. i understand your concern but if the guy seems alright they should be fine.
 
Maybe suggest a bigger group? Then trust her? Drop her off set a time and pick her up.

Jeepers. I love my cats?
 
*bookmarks thread*

My daughter is only 10 months old now and when I started reading this thread a feeling of dread just settled on me!

Be that as it may, the wife says when she was 14 her parents let her go out with groups and she could only start "dating" when she was 16/17.

Her view is that our daughter could start dating when she is 16ish...that is her view...my view is that I am going to lock her in her room as of now.
 
DrYes said:
After matric me thinks because datings fsks up their mind when they should be using it for academics.
Click to expand...

Those are usually the girls who get pregnant in Varsity, same as the countless A-grade students who drop out of varsity from alcohol abuse.

I'd let my kids go in groups when they reach high school. But like the one guy said, don't just give them permission, drop them off & pick them up and meet the kids' parents if necessary. Also no sleep overs under 16 unless it's at our house or we know the parents well.
 
I don't envy you guys with daughters. :D
You're going to have to educate them and trust them at some point. Chicks that grow up in overly strict homes always go ballistic after their first taste of [-]cock[/-] freedom.
 
Mila said:
// googles sterilization

Ffs!! This is scary shyte.

Some one said 13, 13!!! They should be playing with barbies not boys.
IMHO. I know nothing my cats had to be neutered before the were teenagers. :o
Click to expand...
Lol Mila, what's even more scary is have you seen what 13/14yr olds look like today??
I'm usually gobsmacked by some of the chicks that walk through my front door and find out how young they actually are when I'm on the verge of crapping them out for cradle snatching my boy. Have to tell the husband to get back to his corner lolol.

Anyhow, @op, I would let her go but definitely drop and collect if possible and seriously, the way you live your life should be no reflection on your instinct to protect your daughter. Let us know how it goes, should be pretty cute..a milestone as one would say I guess. :D
 
:D

Makes me think of a mate who was a complete and utter dog in his younger years. He has a daughter whose around five now. She loooves men.

You can literally see the pain in his eyes if you rag him about when she'll start dating.
 
rorz0r said:
I'd say 16 is ok but only with a 16yr old guy... 16yr old girl and 18yr old guy will lead to one thing...
Click to expand...

Err there is no difference, they use the same brain in the pants!

Pretty much agree with most, I'm only 22 so far from kids, but at 16 and younger which was only 6 years ago for me, we got up to ****. Kids are sexually active younger and younger these days! On the other hand I know girls my age(friends of mine) that chose not to be sexually active not for religious reasons and they're still sticking to it! The one is on the edge though, she's not handling it very well at 22 lol!
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top
Sign up to the MyBroadband newsletter
X