Legally Responsible for Your Elderly Parents?

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Grep

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Hi all

I have tried to do some digging with regard to this question but haven't found much so I thought someone has more insight into this. I am happily married with most possessions paid off but my parents haven't thought about their later years in life.

My dad is 74 and my mum is 76 and all they have to their name is a small house and pretty much nothing else. I have spent some time online today to look for retirement places but the pricing is SHOCKING to say the least, there is no way at the moment I will have the money to pay for that if something went wrong.

Now I know the ethical thing is in the event of something really going wrong is to let them move in, but is there a legal requirement as we don't really get on at all?
 
Grep said:
Hi all

I have tried to do some digging with regard to this question but haven't found much so I thought someone has more insight into this. I am happily married with most possessions paid off but my parents haven't thought about their later years in life.

My dad is 74 and my mum is 76 and all they have to their name is a small house and pretty much nothing else. I have spent some time online today to look for retirement places but the pricing is SHOCKING to say the least, there is no way at the moment I will have the money to pay for that if something went wrong.

Now I know the ethical thing is in the event of something really going wrong is to let them move in, but is there a legal requirement as we don't really get on at all?
Click to expand...

No legal requirement..... 99.9% sure of that.
 
Grep said:
Hi all

I have tried to do some digging with regard to this question but haven't found much so I thought someone has more insight into this. I am happily married with most possessions paid off but my parents haven't thought about their later years in life.

My dad is 74 and my mum is 76 and all they have to their name is a small house and pretty much nothing else. I have spent some time online today to look for retirement places but the pricing is SHOCKING to say the least, there is no way at the moment I will have the money to pay for that if something went wrong.

Now I know the ethical thing is in the event of something really going wrong is to let them move in, but is there a legal requirement as we don't really get on at all?
Click to expand...

No legal requirement,
 
Considering the number of old folk abandoned by their kids odds on being legally responsible are zero.
 
Aren't there some state old age homes which will take care of them in exchange for their pension payout?
 
LazyLion said:
Aren't there some state old age homes which will take care of them in exchange for their pension payout?
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Many thanks LL, I have just begun my investigation with regard to this and will definitely look into that. I just wondered the legal obligations before it gets thrown in my face like everything else always does.
 
As far as solutions go. Perhaps figure out how much their house would rent for, or even sell for. If push comes to shove, and you feel morally obligated to help them out. No reason to not demand they hand over their house for you to either sell or rent to offset costs.

Just as often as there are old folks abandoned by their kids. There are kids who have to take a 5 to 20 year financial and emotional knock in having to take care of financially irresponsible parents. The latter is far worse in my view. A parent should never be that kind of burden to their kids. Unless life tossed your family a crap ton of curve balls, and your parents still managed to do their best providing for you through wars, recessions, asylum, that sort of thing, then old folks without money to care for themselves have most likely done that to themselves, or at least the majority of the blame is their own.

Now if your parents struggled in a lower income bracket for their whole lives, but made you a priority and made sure you got all you could in life. Well then, a moral pickle is where you find yourself. Dont know your situation, but these are my thoughts on the matter.
 
Grep said:
Hi all

I have tried to do some digging with regard to this question but haven't found much so I thought someone has more insight into this. I am happily married with most possessions paid off but my parents haven't thought about their later years in life.

My dad is 74 and my mum is 76 and all they have to their name is a small house and pretty much nothing else. I have spent some time online today to look for retirement places but the pricing is SHOCKING to say the least, there is no way at the moment I will have the money to pay for that if something went wrong.

Now I know the ethical thing is in the event of something really going wrong is to let them move in, but is there a legal requirement as we don't really get on at all?
Click to expand...

Yes , you are legally required to provide support.
http://www.lkp.co.za/news/2015/Social morals determine parents right to support.html
 
Yes, at common law there is a reciprocal duty of support. If they were that way inclined they could even bring a legal action against you for support, provided they are unable to support themselves. That support extends to the provision of household necessaries.

This has been upheld by many courts over the years, most recently confirmed in an Appellate Division case, Bursey v Bursey and Another, 1992.
 
Many thanks to everyone for their inputs, Soultax you hit it dead on but I left home the second I got sent to the army and never asked for a thing after that. Thanks also to their legal insight, seems I might be in a pickle a few years down the line.
 
Grep said:
Hi all

I have tried to do some digging with regard to this question but haven't found much so I thought someone has more insight into this. I am happily married with most possessions paid off but my parents haven't thought about their later years in life.

My dad is 74 and my mum is 76 and all they have to their name is a small house and pretty much nothing else. I have spent some time online today to look for retirement places but the pricing is SHOCKING to say the least, there is no way at the moment I will have the money to pay for that if something went wrong.

Now I know the ethical thing is in the event of something really going wrong is to let them move in, but is there a legal requirement as we don't really get on at all?
Click to expand...

I can't understand how kids would even need to ask if it's their legal requirement to look after their folks... They looked after you for about 20 years. Too much to ask to return the favour?
Geesus... words fail me.
 
Arthur said:
If they were that way inclined they could even bring a legal action against you for support, provided they are unable to support themselves.
Click to expand...

If they can afford legal action, they'll fail the means test, and you'll come out safe! Kick them to the curb!
 
3WA said:
If they can afford legal action, they'll fail the means test, and you'll come out safe! Kick them to the curb!
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Pro-bono? God knows I would help old folks in such a situation for free if I was a lawyer. It sickens me, nothing like biting the hand that fed you. Wow...
 
Pitbull said:
Pro-bono? God knows I would help old folks in such a situation for free if I was a lawyer. It sickens me, nothing like biting the hand that fed you. Wow...
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I was just joking, not having any insight into OP's family relationships. That said, there are certainly people I know who are justified in cutting the ties (e.g. children of abusers). Sometimes it's simply impossible to maintain the family relationship and your own mental well-being.
 
3WA said:
I was just joking, not having any insight into OP's family relationships. That said, there are certainly people I know who are justified in cutting the ties (e.g. children of abusers). Sometimes it's simply impossible to maintain the family relationship and your own mental well-being.
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Yes, don't get me wrong... By all means.

One just sees this way too often though. Parents break their back to put their kids through school and then varsity to just be left stranded at old age and the children saying: They didn't provide for their old age. I would like to see how normal working class middle income houses can afford to put one or two kids through varsity without digging into their life savings.

Think about it for a second before you just throw your folks to the curb saying they didn't provide for their old age. Humanity is measured in how people treat the elderly, it's clear SA has more problems than we think.
 
3WA said:
If they can afford legal action, they'll fail the means test, and you'll come out safe! Kick them to the curb!
Click to expand...
Many a Legal Aid Clinic helps relatives bring actions for support.

Btw, the mutual duty of support extends to collateral relations.

One small quibble with some website articles written by lawyers not familiar with English: they speak of "necessities", whereas the law actually speaks of "necessaries". There is a diffs. What constitutes a household necessary can vary greatly - it depends on the standard of living, the resources of the party from which support is claimed, and several other considerations. One test case (from Law of Persons with Prof Boberg at Wits many aeons ago) involved an Indian family in Durban. The wife bought an expensive dress and the alienated husband repudiated it as unnecessary. The court found that, given their high standard of living, that type of dress was covered as a necessary, and the husband had to dock up.

So the answer is, it depends.
 
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Varsity? Bwahahaha, oh oh Mr Pitbull. Try getting told there is no money for Uni but you rather go to the army because at least they will sort you. Pitbull before you prejudge, try and getting a full understanding of the situation and then make an informed decision.

Since I am the OP, let me outline the situation so no uninformed accusations can be made, again.

1. Has there always been animosity in my growing up between my parents which I had to deal with? Yes.
2. Have they had opportunities to rectify the situation? Sure
3. Was I always stuck in the middle? Sure
4. Did my brother dying at an early age make things possibly worse? Sure
5. Did me leaving the house very young and pretty much harden me where I fended all for myself help? Absolutely
6. Did I ever ask for any help, financial or otherwise, ever? No
7. Did they have many many decades to preempt this coming of age? Absolutely

So now what, still nothing. Am I bitter, no not really. I saw this coming a very long time ago, but having parents that are not appreciative of anything doesn't help, they are the kind of people that will still moan even if you bend over backwards to try accommodate them.

All I asked is for legal guidance for when, and as it always does, comes up.
 
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