Life, nostalgia and everything in between. Feeling lost...

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iFan

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SO first up if a mod thinks this must rather go under another section, then please feel free to move...I was a bit unsure where this should go.

Do any of you often feel nostalgic? I have read that it usually appears (obviously not the odd time here and there) in times when you are upset with your current life/lifestyle etc.

To give you a short history, straight out of school I started working for a company and traveled a lot over seas doing lighting design for amazing shows etc and I lived the life traveling to islands and so forth. I had (and still do have but never get to see them) the most AWESOME friends from all over the world and it was probably one of the happiest times of my life. I eventually got tired of the ridiculous hours and low pay, and being young and ignorant I never figured to negotiate the situation, but eventually left and moved onto becoming a diving instructor as I had felt this was my next passion to pursue.

Again here we had really great times, and eventually the company started falling apart (not me wanting to leave this time) and most of us left. I moved overseas to an island and taught diving for a few months. Although the diving was great there, the actual country was absolutely ****e (african country) and I was in a really bad state of mind...something of unhappiness, rushed decission that I made to leave, and home sickness (which I never had before when I was overseas, I always enjoyed coming home, but LOVED being away). So I eventually felt like I had realised why most people worked ****ty desk jobs, to build a life and family. And at that point all I wanted to do was come home and finnish my graphic design diploma and get a job. I wanted consistency....or so I thought. I was really happy and have been so far, I am on my second company working as a graphic designer, ( I moved to continue learning) and have a car, dirtbike, steady cash flow (although we could always all use more...I am still living at home) , trying to move out in the next year or so...I am turning 24 in a little while. I have a beautiful and AMAZING girlfriend that I love with all my heart (we got together shortly after I got back from overseas and I settled).

Yet here I am, roughly 3 years after being back and I feel like everything in life is going okay except work. Yes currently I am in a ****ty company (most of the people are trying to leave at this point some have already resigned. Things changed for the worse and aren't going back). And I am wondering what the hell I am doing with my life. I made so many iconic memories when I was working overseas and when things were good as a diving instructor...but now I feel a bit lost. In fact I have always felt a little lost as to what I wanted to do with my life...but I was ALWAYS happy! And I am happy with most things. Maybe it is just my job that is bothering me? I feel like I don't want to do graphic design full time anymore (happy to help my private clients on the side) and have looked into Project management as this would allow me a lot of variety. I like being challenged as I get bored very quickly. And I think project management would help me.

I have in recent months felt extremely nostalgic and long for the last years, although I would never ever want to leave certain parts in my life that I have now, my wonderful girlfriend, I feel like I would be lost without her in my life. And obviously a couple of stable things in my life that I enjoy....but other than that I feel like my life has a much bigger purpose than sitting behind a desk..I am lost and distraught at not knowing what to do in my life, and fear (although never having regretted anything) that I will regret having wasted time doing what I am doing now...I don't know if I am just in-between two phases of life...or that maybe I am just being stupid? I have never been the normal 9-5 kinda person and have always tried to live life to the fullest.

Maybe there are some wise people out there that wouldn't mind commenting....I realise nothing in life will ever be exactly perfect with every aspect of my life...but I currently feel that somethings not right, and I have always followed my gut feeling.

Thank you in advance :) and please feel free to ask me if there is anything else you want to know about me :)
 
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Yes, we all feel it - the nostalgia. I often dream of going back in time to a younger stage of life and making different decisions.

But if you have marriage and family ties right now, they have the priority.
Otherwise if you have no ties, then go for it and choose what you want to do!
 
It's quite normal to get these feelings of nostalgia, especially as you get older. Sometimes it is quite pleasant rather than sad, a sort of deja vu.
 
Nobody said it is easy :)

I have a few friends that basically 'write off' the weekday hours of 8-5 and they basically live for weekends...
Not sure if you can easily switch off like that.
 
Damn you, the asterisks at the end of your paragraphs automatically made my eyes zoom down to the bottom of your post looking for some kind of disclaimer. :p
 
Haha so sorry, really have no idea how those got in there? I was writing this in a gmail mail before copying and pasting..i'll fix it :)
 
iFan said:
I feel like my life has a much bigger purpose than sitting behind a desk.
Click to expand...

"The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." ~ Henry David Thoreau

The only purpose your life has is what you give it, through yourself, your family, your friends. Often, the burden of supporting wife and kiddies will curtail any life choices. So you must choose - a certain financial stability doing something that is not your passion, or go do what is your passion, or your interest at least. If the latter, do it while you still can, being young and all. 36 years to retirement, 432 paydays.
 
I never do. I have fond memories. But I don't dwell on the past or wish for something that happened in the past to be the same again. Not even with those tools waving the old SA flag.

Wherever you find yourself, where you are now might not be as good as it was, but sitting there thinking about how it was vs. doing something to make your current situation better is vastly different. Be more positive, more positive things will follow
 
Wait a minute, you're only turning 24. It looks like you've had some great experiences for one so young and you're still young enough to pursue your dreams. I can't understand why you're reminiscing like a forty year old talking about missed opportunities while you have your whole future ahead of you.
 
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It's all the Apple products. :D

Yeah, life... Life's interesting. Uncomfortably comfortable when comfortable and uncomfortably uncomfortable when uncomfortable. People always want change, but not have change at the same time. Having cake and eating it. Do what makes you happy. Fear is the killer. Don't let fear kill you.
 
You have an "AMAZING girlfriend" yet you feel lost? Something doesn't compute...

EDIT: You have a car, dirtbike and steady cashflow + the SO. Appreciate what you do have because you sure have a *****load more than most other 23 year olds. Count your blessings.
 
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Garson007 said:
It's all the Apple products. :D

Yeah, life... Life's interesting. Uncomfortably comfortable when comfortable and uncomfortably uncomfortable when uncomfortable. People always want change, but not have change at the same time. Having cake and eating it. Do what makes you happy. Fear is the killer. Don't let fear kill you.
Click to expand...

This. Fear. Fear destroys us. We fear not having a place to stay, not having that fancy car, not being able to have DSTV. We fear what our friends our family think, we fear making bad choices, or wasting time. When the only thing we need to fear is not being happy. We should fear not making enough bad decisions and not learning from them, not trying things and seeing what happens.

Quit your crappy job, take your girlfriend and go where your heart takes you and if she does not want to do it, then you might not be compatible on a fundamental basis. But have a plan B and a plan C for when you find that plan A is not all it was meant to be. Enrol for distance learning and study a couple of evenings a week while travellings abroad, cover your bases, do freelance jobs that can give you applicable experience in something that might be plan B.
 
Lucas Buck said:
Wait a minute, you're only turning 24. It looks like you've had some great experiences for one so young and you're still young enough to pursue your dreams. I can't understand why you're reminiscing like a forty year old talking about missed opportunities while you have your whole future ahead of you.
Click to expand...
I think that's the problem, he's reached that point where he can quite easily blink and then be 40, the machine is inexorably sucking him into its machinations. A few steps further forward and he would be completely embraced/consumed by the rat race. He's just a hop skip and jump from a child, a mortgage, overcome with wanting a better car, a better job, more money etc etcetera.
 
Thanks for all the replies so far guys, I really appreciate it! I am only on my phone now so will try give a proper reply to you all tomorrow afternoon, but a lot f valid points have been made!

I definitely do count my blessings and am very grateful for what I have and what I have achieved so far! And I definitely am not wanting more necessarily in a materialistic sense, although this is inevitable in this kinda direction. But I feel I need more in my life on a ...well I don't know what level...yes I have achieved a lot at 24 already, and as the last poster said, and summed it up very nicely, I am at that point where I am not far away from mortgage and family life etc....it scares me. I want a family and I want all those things but more than anything I want to be happy! I worry that I have not achieved as much in the last 3 years as what I achieved before that. Yes in a sense of stability I have gained a lot in the last years, where before I struggle to pay for fuel etc because I was living differently. My personality and who I am today was shaped by those experiences and I don't want to loose that! (I know no one can ever take it away from me) but like I have said, I feel there is a lot more that I can do in my life than what k have been doing :) no I don't need to be filthy rich or famous, I just want to know that I lived my life to the absolute fullest and happiest!!! And I have done relatively well so far, as you guys said I have more than most 23 year olds! And am of course grateful for that!!


I also agree with the whole thing of rather don't worry about life because that's when you're wasting it, go live it rather! But yes I am worrying that I make
A mistake that I regret. I am not worried about mistakes in general, as I have made them and continue to and of course learn from them, it is just as said that I am at point where decisions aren't always short lived, such as career choices...I am not entirely tied down with debt etc now...but still, what I do now affects a lot of things going forward I guess.

Please keep te replies coming, I really appreciate them!
 
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