Loneliness

Yes it is possible, I used to be invisible to the people around me....they`d be friendly and loving and caring but I`d be blind to it :(
I felt so alone, so isolated, when i nfact I was surrounded by people who cared about me.
 
Gnome said:
What Yagami is saying is true. What you describe is not an introvert at all.
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I tend to agree... I can be the life of a party if I'm in the mood, but I find all social interaction extremely draining. If I must interact I prefer it one on one so I can make a meaningful connection, and even that can zap the life out of me.
 
I think that you are not really connected with your friends, do you have a gf/bf?
 
maybe you should stop complaining like a little girl about being lonely, wiping nutella on your wall, ghosts and having a problem with fireworks then you wont have this issue

grow up and go out ...and stop looking for attention online cause it aint going to take away your loneliness
 
Zwerp I am exactly like you, the way you describe yourself is how I describe myself. I have managed to change, but I am not going to preach on how I changed but PM me if you want some advice (but its stuff you have to internalize, its not an instant fix).

What I found, I am using myself as the example because your solution might be the same but it might be different, is that my loneliness disappeared when I believed I matter to someone. An SO is not just someone you love but someone that loves you and there is something to be said for feeling like you matter to someone other than your family.

If you want to change your shy behaviour I suggest finding a friend who isn't shy, and I mean he must be the type that drinks and flirts and does crazy things. I have a friend like that and he changed me. You will learn when to be cheaky and witty, when to be flirty and when to be serious. Most importantly you learn to not care what other people think about you (not like completely not giving a stuff but rather inviting honest opinion from your friends and family and building on their comments).
 
There is strength in being alone.

The following quotes and sayings sum up what i would say:

Language... has created the word 'loneliness' to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word 'solitude' to express the glory of being alone.
Paul Tillich

Being solitary is being alone well: being alone luxuriously immersed in doings of your own choice, aware of the fullness of your own presence rather than of the absence of others. Because solitude is an achievement.
Alice Koller
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http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/being_alone.html

Until you get comfortable with being alone, you'll never know if you're choosing someone out of love or loneliness.
Unknown quotes
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Once you learn how to be alone you will no long be chained to the desperate need to keep a person in your life even though the relationship is bad for you. Whether the person is a lover, a marriage partner, a friend, or even a family member what good is it if the relationship brings you pain and lower self-esteem? If you can’t bare the thought of being alone you will always be in a position of weakness in your relationships. However, once you learn how to be alone and truly enjoy it you’ll be able to negotiate your relationships from a position of strength knowing that you can end it and be okay.
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http://www.solotopia.com/being-alone/
 
Even introverts get bored and need to go out every now and then.

I.am.Sam said:
maybe you should stop complaining like a little girl about being lonely, wiping nutella on your wall, ghosts and having a problem with fireworks then you wont have this issue

grow up and go out ...and stop looking for attention online cause it aint going to take away your loneliness
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This.

killerbyte said:
If you want to change your shy behaviour I suggest finding a friend who isn't shy, and I mean he must be the type that drinks and flirts and does crazy things. I have a friend like that and he changed me. You will learn when to be cheaky and witty, when to be flirty and when to be serious. Most importantly you learn to not care what other people think about you (not like completely not giving a stuff but rather inviting honest opinion from your friends and family and building on their comments).
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And that.
 
Even introverts get bored and need to go out every now and then. My advice? Stop living on the internet and go do stuff that gets you out of the house. Be more productive and actively try to improve your life. Klap gym boet. You'll feel much better and more confident.

This is coming from a super introvert who can go weeks without company and once ordered pizzas online just to avoid talking to an actual person.

I.am.Sam said:
maybe you should stop complaining like a little girl about being lonely, wiping nutella on your wall, ghosts and having a problem with fireworks then you wont have this issue

grow up and go out ...and stop looking for attention online cause it aint going to take away your loneliness
Click to expand...

This.

killerbyte said:
If you want to change your shy behaviour I suggest finding a friend who isn't shy, and I mean he must be the type that drinks and flirts and does crazy things. I have a friend like that and he changed me. You will learn when to be cheaky and witty, when to be flirty and when to be serious. Most importantly you learn to not care what other people think about you (not like completely not giving a stuff but rather inviting honest opinion from your friends and family and building on their comments).
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And that.
 
Last edited:
Well, thanks for all the advice. I think my thread came across as a bit more serious than I intended, but the advice is appreciated regardless. I actually went out to one of the local bars last night, but there was only 3 other people there so I didn't stay long. Granted, it was just after 12 then, but I think most people are either studying for exams or they've started going home for the holidays.

Anyway, I've got a few friends coming over for wine a bit later so I've got some company. Apparently they're just as bored as I am here.

I.am.Sam said:
maybe you should stop complaining like a little girl about being lonely, wiping nutella on your wall, ghosts and having a problem with fireworks then you wont have this issue

grow up and go out ...and stop looking for attention online cause it aint going to take away your loneliness
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No offence Sam, but you're in no position to berate anyone here, what with your pretentious tough guy, passive aggressive attitude and the way you used to attention whore in TK. You're going to have to excuse me if I don't take anything you say seriously. :)

Knyro said:
This.
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You guys realise the ghost thread was a joke thread, right? That's how bored I was last night.
 
Zewp said:
Is it possible to be lonely even when it seems you don't have any reason to be? I've always considered myself a bit of an introvert, always the silent one in the group, keep to myself around strangers, etc. I've got what I'd say is a healthy social life, though. Plenty of friends I see almost every weekend, speak to weekly, etc.

Even so, for the last while I've really struggled with being alone by myself. I hate not being around people. Whenever I'm alone I get heavily depressed. My flatmate is done with her exams and went on vacation on Saturday already and I feel like I'm going out of my mind by being alone in my flat. This is something I can look forward to for the next month seeing as I don't finish my exams until the 27th. There's people going about their daily business all day long, yet I feel so isolated for some reason. I can barely even concentrate on studying.

I even rang up my ex just to have someone to talk to earlier today. I'm on the brink of inviting a random hobo to come sleep in my flat just so I can have some company. :p

MYBB HELP! Why does a person with an otherwise normal social life start feeling like this?
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Shouldn't you despise dependence and weakness? I mean like in REALLY despise it?
 
Yagami said:
Irony?
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Yeah, I guess you could probably say so. I don't really like when people become too dependent on my and I almost become responsible for their happiness. That probably sounds pretty hypocritical of me, but I like to believe I don't make a nuisance of myself with my friends. I guess it's something I should work on.

Batista said:
I think that you are not really connected with your friends, do you have a gf/bf?
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Nah, there's a guy I'm interested in. Went on a few dates so far, but neither of us really had the time to commit to a relationship at the moment. He just started a new job where he's on probation and has to work pretty long hours for the first few months and I had my exams coming up. We've got a lot of things planned for December though, so who knows?
 
Zewp said:
You guys realise the ghost thread was a joke thread, right? That's how bored I was last night.
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What!? But I had my ectoplasm collection kit ready and everything! :mad:

Being bored enough to create a thread like that speaks volumes, hence all of the "go out" posts.
 
MyWorld said:
Shouldn't you despise dependence and weakness? I mean like in REALLY despise it?
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Read the post below. For what it's worth, you also have to take into consideration that I'm a full-time student. Last year I studied at Stellenbosch, so I ran classes the whole day. From the beginning of this year I'm studying at UNISA, so I spend the majority of my time in my flat. Some weeks I don't leave the flat for two or three days in a row, simply because I don't have to.
 
I.am.Sam said:
maybe you should stop complaining like a little girl about being lonely, wiping nutella on your wall, ghosts and having a problem with fireworks then you wont have this issue

grow up and go out ...and stop looking for attention online cause it aint going to take away your loneliness
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Aww sweet. Look at Dr. Tough Love. :rolleyes:
 
:wtf: ... if you a grown man then this is kind of pathetic

go and do something its that simple. Geez why must everything be a complex issue the solutions is quite simple
 
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