Maintenance

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Mrs K

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Hi all. I need some advice please. My husband has been paying maintenance for the last 4 years. In those 4 years he has gotten to see his child about 5 times. The mother always had some sort of excuse as to why he couldn’t see the child. I have to mention that they have joint custody but in his case it didn’t work out to be no matter how many times he went to child court or maintenance court. Unfortunately if you are the father, the law does nothing to protect you or enforce your rights at all. To make a long story short, the child is now 18. Without his permission or even discussing anything with my husband, his ex has now enrolled this child in some college, with the fees amounting to nearly R100 000 for the year (the course is for 3 years), plus still maintenance of R3500pm. Our half adds up to R8500pm! She is now in the process of suing him for this money. I’ve read that the parent is liable for tertiary fees and maintenance until the child is self sufficient. This doesn’t make sense because then she can ˋstudy´ for the next 10 years and he must just cough up? I must also add that sadly the mother has poisoned the child against the father to the point where the child called him the sperm donor and that she wants him to stay out of his life. Surely this is not right? There’s no way we can afford to pay that amount. It’s more than the basic salary in SA! I must mention that we do not live in SA anymore, and have offered for the child to stay with us where we will look after her and give her an education abroad. This was declined and thrown back in his face. Does anyone have advice? I feel for my husband as he’s been denied a relationship with his child due to a spiteful woman who’s only intent in life is to hurt him. By doing this she has created a replica of herself who will also go thru life treating people like ATM´s. Looks like when you are still married you are allowed to say no to your child, but once you are divorced you are forced to pay up. I don’t see studying as a must! She can find a job, study thru Unisa and pay for it herself.....like many many other young people do in SA. Yours help and answers will be appreciated.
 
Well he wasn't able to enforce joint custody, so I think it's only right if you see how well she does trying to enforce payment. Reciprocal agreement or not, the cost will almost certainly exceed the expected value.
 
Look more into the laws.
There are points of reasonability for many of these issues.

What were the school fees before? Or were they part of the R3500?

Further research other institutions offering the same/similar courses in SA.
Offer to pay half of the cheapest place if hubby feels so inclined.

But as he does not see the child due to the mother he could ignore it, but best would be to decline it..

Her legal docs must be served at your home/hubby's work place. They cant serve an address in ZA as he does not reside there.
 
Tomtomtom said:
Well he wasn't able to enforce joint custody, so I think it's only right if you see how well she does trying to enforce payment. Reciprocal agreement or not, the cost will almost certainly exceed the expected value.
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Thank you for your help
 
Venomous said:
Look more into the laws.
There are points of reasonability for many of these issues.

What were the school fees before? Or were they part of the R3500?

Further research other institutions offering the same/similar courses in SA.
Offer to pay half of the cheapest place if hubby feels so inclined.

But as he does not see the child due to the mother he could ignore it, but best would be to decline it..

Her legal docs must be served at your home/hubby's work place. They cant serve an address in ZA as he does not reside there.
Click to expand...
Hi.
Thank you for your answer. I’m sure there are plenty of fathers in the same boat. I will do some research on the courses
 
I think you need to get professional advice on this.

AFAIK, (and this is hearsay), after she's 18 the mom can't claim maintenance, the daughter has to. And your husband has to pay maintenance until she can support herself. If you can't afford it your maintenance might have to get looked at again and re-evaluated.

As for not paying:
Can a maintenance order made in a South African court be enforced in a foreign country and vice versa?
South African law allows citizens to claim maintenance from a parent living in a foreign country. The Reciprocal Enforcement of Maintenance Orders Act 80 of 1963 regulates foreign maintenance processes. However, not all foreign countries are recognised under the Act. The Chief Directorate: International Legal Relations in the Department of Justice and Constitutional Development has a list of proclaimed countries, meaning those countries that have a special arrangement with South Africa whereby maintenance orders granted in one country can be enforced in another.

South Africa has reciprocal enforcement agreements with the following countries: Australia, Canada, Cocoa (Keeling) Islands, Cyprus, Fiji, Germany, Guernsey (Bailiwick of Hong Kong), Isle of Jersey, Isle of Man, Kenya, Lesotho, Malawi, Mauritius, Namibia, New Zealand, Nigeria, Norfolk Island, Sarawak, Singapore, St Helena, Swaziland, United Kingdom, United States of America, Zambia and Zimbabwe.
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This was taken from: https://www.divorceattorney.co.za/child-maintenance-and-spousal-support.html
 
sandwitch said:
I think you need to get professional advice on this.

AFAIK, (and this is hearsay), after she's 18 the mom can't claim maintenance, the daughter has to. And your husband has to pay maintenance until she can support herself. If you can't afford it your maintenance might have to get looked at again and re-evaluated.

As for not paying:

This was taken from: https://www.divorceattorney.co.za/child-maintenance-and-spousal-support.html
Click to expand...
Thank you I will check the link. I just feel that she can ˋstudy´ for the next 10 years whereby he has to pay himself silly AND not even get to have contact with his child. And that they can decide where to study without even consulting him or even better, ASKING him and he must just pay. If you are married ur allowed to say no to your child when it comes to studies, but a divorced dad will be forced to pay?
 
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