Marriage without changing surname

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Bobbin

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Might seem childish I don't know but I have my reasons, even coming up to 30 years old now one can no longer say I'm too young to make up my own mind about these things.

One reason that holds me back from considering marriage (Other than the sheer waste of money, a serious disrespect I have for the entire industry and an anxiety I have about the social aspects :p) is that I hate my surname and don't want to give it to my spouse nor my future children should I ever have any. It must die with me! :mad:

I assume it is possible to get married while keeping her maiden name? Are there any legal implications or difficulties in this regard as well?

I haven't discussed it with her yet as the possibility only occurred to me recently but I would refuse no matter what.
 
Arthur said:
Why not take her surname? As far as I know you can.
Click to expand...

Lol even better. But then I'd have to change all my ID docs, bank, accounts etc... etc... just seems like a waste. I can live with it like I have the past 30 years :)
 
My wife changed her surname back to her maiden name after Home Affairs changed it to mine even though we asked them not to.
Filled in a form,they pressed a few buttons and voila.Took a whole of 5 minutes as home affairs wasn't busy.
 
Bobbin said:
Lol even better. But then I'd have to change all my ID docs, bank, accounts etc... etc... just seems like a waste. I can live with it like I have the past 30 years :)
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If she takes your surname, then she has to change all those. It is a byproduct of the institution called marrige.
Fortunately those are only changed once, unless the Big D happens, and she choses to go back to her birth name.


You could, ofcourse, just go and have your surname changed to Bobbin. They charge per letter. Even your birth cert gets redone then.
 
Bobbin said:
Might seem childish I don't know but I have my reasons, even coming up to 30 years old now one can no longer say I'm too young to make up my own mind about these things.

One reason that holds me back from considering marriage (Other than the sheer waste of money, a serious disrespect I have for the entire industry and an anxiety I have about the social aspects :p) is that I hate my surname and don't want to give it to my spouse nor my future children should I ever have any. It must die with me! :mad:

I assume it is possible to get married while keeping her maiden name? Are there any legal implications or difficulties in this regard as well?

I haven't discussed it with her yet as the possibility only occurred to me recently but I would refuse no matter what.
Click to expand...

Why not just change your surname now?
 
Bobbin said:
Lol even better. But then I'd have to change all my ID docs, bank, accounts etc... etc... just seems like a waste. :)
Click to expand...
Bite the bullet and do it. It's one shot. Hassle is no excuse - it's minimal. New ID docs, passport, etc. Inform the bank, employer, and creditors. Done. You'll save your kids the pain you've been through.

Besides, it's a chance to turn over a new leaf and straighten out your life.
 
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Bobbin said:
Might seem childish I don't know but I have my reasons, even coming up to 30 years old now one can no longer say I'm too young to make up my own mind about these things.

One reason that holds me back from considering marriage (Other than the sheer waste of money, a serious disrespect I have for the entire industry and an anxiety I have about the social aspects :p) is that I hate my surname and don't want to give it to my spouse nor my future children should I ever have any. It must die with me! :mad:

I assume it is possible to get married while keeping her maiden name? Are there any legal implications or difficulties in this regard as well?

I haven't discussed it with her yet as the possibility only occurred to me recently but I would refuse no matter what.
Click to expand...

Dennis Cockhead?
 
Her changing of surname is completely voluntary.

If she doesn't want to take your surname she simply doesn't complete that process and soldier's on as normal.
 
Arthur said:
Bite the bullet and do it. It's one shot. Hassle is no excuse - it's minimal. New ID docs, passport, etc. Inform the bank, employer, and creditors. Done. You'll save your kids the pain you've been through.

Besides, it's a chance to turn over a new leaf and straighten out your life.
Click to expand...

Not only that but also having to change company account, email, inform just about everyone I deal with on a daily basis in business. hmmm... I will consider it but it seems like a tremendous task that is quite unnecessary at this stage of my life. It really isn't that important to me to have to go through, I've grown up with it - what's done is done - it is more a consideration for my spouse and future children.

On a side note I might be a bit biased here but in my view a woman changing her last name is normal and more seamless? On all accounts from home affairs to social aspect. Which is why I don't see it as an accurate comparison. But I stand corrected if needs be.
 
Arthur said:
Why not take her surname? As far as I know you can.
Click to expand...

You definitely can, otherwise just do a name change to hers and be done with.
Even better decide on one you like, change yours to it and then when you get married its easier for her to change to it that way.
 
Venomous said:
If she takes your surname, then she has to change all those. It is a byproduct of the institution called marrige.
Fortunately those are only changed once, unless the Big D happens, and she choses to go back to her birth name.


You could, ofcourse, just go and have your surname changed to Bobbin. They charge per letter. Even your birth cert gets redone then.
Click to expand...

:D
 
Please tell us your surname! Ek brand om te weet! hehehe.

But ja, she does not have to change her surname, but if you hate yours so much, then I would say consider changing your surname to match hers. We live in modern times, nothing wrong with that. If I were to get married, then I would like us both to go for option of adding our surnames together, so I would be le Roux - Stenhouse and he would be Stenhouse - le Roux for example.
 
SauRoNZA said:
Her changing of surname is completely voluntary.

If she doesn't want to take your surname she simply doesn't complete that process and soldier's on as normal.
Click to expand...

Yeah I will probably discuss with her soon and get her opinion on it. My only concern then is if there are any implications or difficulties. Shared medical aid, wills, property, trust account etc... etc... if we don't share the same surname but declare ourselves married. I suppose a simple marriage certificate would clear any issues up though if it is ever questioned.

And I suppose the bigger question is if what you say is true then yeah, easy as that then. :)
 
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