New relationships and AIDS test

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VIvan

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When meeting someone new romantically, I believe it would be prudent for the both of us to get tested with the number of AIDS cases in the country. Naturally, bringing this up on the first, most likely also the second date is out of the question; there must be some kind of intimacy (but not the kind that could potentially carry the infection, if there is one) before bringing up the subject.

What I'm interested to hear is if any women here would find this offensive? And when do you think would be a good time to bring up the subject?
 
Tricky.
A relationship is based on trust and by asking for a test you are questioning that.
Use other contraceptives until you know more about them and then suggest an AIDS test. You have to have more than one over 3-6 months to be sure.
 
Get yourself circumcised and take a shower afterward.

Seriously, go take a test yourself (at Clicks Pharmacy or wherever) and take her with. I think it's just a prick on your finger and you have basic results (Yes/No) after 10min.
 
Going for the test is the best thing you can do. However this is very tricky teritory :eek:

I would suggest you have the relationship develop first and take things from there. By that I mean once it starts to get sexual or the topic pops up, then bring up the test part. I'm not saying have safe sex first then do the test.... I'm saying wait for the relationship to at least reach that stage first before blabbering out the HIV test thing.

It could make an already wabbling relationship crumble just the mention of HIV/Aids.

Don't rush it, see how this goes. The topic of a sexual relationship will pop up one time or another and then the time will be right to speak about it. If you ask her to go for the test on the second or so date that just screams HORNY !
 
if they take it the wrong way they are not mature enough to be engaging in a sexual relationship...
 
I think in todays age, it get's sexual within a few hours.
 
Dolby said:
I think in todays age, it get's sexual within a few hours.
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hehe ok S'true :o

And one can't think straight once it reaches that point. So when then? I highly doubt that is the kinda topic you want to start your first conversation with :eek:
 
Dolby said:
I think in todays age, it get's sexual within a few hours.
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Which isn't necessarily a good thing. I think you're safeish if you wrap it before you tap it, although getting tested is as important.

If you ask your partner to get tested, it may seem as if you are singling them out. Try and make it more of a group exercise by asking them whether they'd like to go with and get tested with you/together. So it's something you're both doing.
 
just bring it up. there is no good time or bad time. you will be protecting each other by testing...

go and test together or be the one to do it first...
 
Try having to tell a girl you met a few weeks back that you can't sleep with her for three months cause you're on a cycle of ARVs... I had to do a ton of explaining to make sure she doesn't run...

... actually wish I didn't explain, cause it would have made my life easier if she did run then.
 
xrapidx said:
Try having to tell a girl you met a few weeks back that you can't sleep with her for three months cause you're on a cycle of ARVs... I had to do a ton of explaining to make sure she doesn't run...

... actually wish I didn't explain, cause it would have made my life easier if she did run then.
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?
 
Interestingly i've never thought of this from a woman's perspective. Its a tricky thing to ask(if you female) as i am pretty sure guys will take it as sign of things to come(and then how many won't lie) ;) Best way would be both go for tests but that still leaves a 'trust' (of 3-6mothns window period). Another instance of it paying to wait/hold off ..(which again might lead to cheating :() In the end i think this something that maybe guys should be doing rather, saves women grief :p

I've asked friends etc before without hassle except this one girl who took offence.(which i found shocking but then others were older). not that i am active at all, hell that happens the pigs will fly Point being its easier to get out of the way earlier on.
 
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Wrap that rascal until things start getting serious and then do the HIV test when you trust the person enough to know they aren't cheating.
 
tau1z said:
if they take it the wrong way they are not mature enough to be engaging in a sexual relationship...
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I agree, you're supposed to talk about these things.
 
xrapidx said:
Try having to tell a girl you met a few weeks back that you can't sleep with her for three months cause you're on a cycle of ARVs... I had to do a ton of explaining to make sure she doesn't run...

... actually wish I didn't explain, cause it would have made my life easier if she did run then.
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koeks said:
?
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Assaulted a mugger in Mellville, Jhb. He came at me with a knife, I moered him till someone took me off him - two days later I got a call from the hospital where he was admitted saying he had hiv, and I need to come in ASAP. Went on ARVs for three months, then had to wait another three months for the final result.

Got the scars on my hands as a reminder - and the final test. Was 3 years ago in July :)

Police said it was in effect assault on the mugger because he had not taken anything from me - and I could not prove he intended too, considering the car guard witnesses vanished... Police said once discharged he could press charges... he never did, which is fortunate, considering I then would have probably been in court for murder :p

The ARVs were the worst three months of my life - thought I was dying.
 
Please note that I said "for the both of us" way back at the beginning of the topic!

And yes, I quite agree that there has to at least be an indication that the relationship is going to get sexual. It isn't unheard of however that this happens on the third date. Not the norm, but it happens.
 
xrapidx said:
Assaulted a mugger in Mellville, Jhb. He came at me with a knife, I moered him till someone took me off him - two days later I got a call from the hospital where he was admitted saying he had hiv, and I need to come in ASAP. Went on ARVs for three months, then had to wait another three months for the final result.

Got the scars on my hands as a reminder - and the final test. Was 3 years ago in July :)

Police said it was in effect assault on the mugger because he had not taken anything from me - and I could not prove he intended too, considering the car guard witnesses vanished... Police said once discharged he could press charges... he never did, which is fortunate, considering I then would have probably been in court for murder :p

The ARVs were the worst three months of my life - thought I was dying.
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Yeah (OT) I've seen that sort of thinking from our idiots in blue before. I reckon just make it all up next time. The truth doesn't win with them.
 
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